Key-pin’ It Real

bad wolf
December 11, 2013 at 8:23 am
To spare anyone who might be curious, my definitions:
keys: Key issues, may include first issues, first appearances, crossovers, beginning of famous storyline. ($$)

Thanks to bad wolf who, in yesterday’s comments, provided a Komix Kollektor mini glossary along with a little insight:

Believe me, the industry has had a long conversation about these man-cave stores with geek-babble spouting salesmen freezing out potential customers by putting up a wall of ‘secret passwords’ and inner-sanctum speak.

Though, to be fair, today John is actually making sense: Silver Age Flash meets Golden Age Flash would be, by bad wolf’s definition, a crossover. I get it! Why doesn’t Holly? She’s making the type of classic “duhhh” face that we usually see on Bull.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Key-pin’ It Real

  1. You’d think that if you were explaining a concept like this to someone who has no in-depth knowledge of the topic, you would select examples they would most likely be familiar with, like “Superman marries Lois Lane” or “Batman meets Robin for the first time.” Of course you wouldn’t be living in Funkytown, where the only source of pleasure is feeling smug and superior to other people.

  2. Howard and Nester

    Day 4 and there are still no comics in frame in this soi disant comic store.

    This is starting to get creepy.

  3. Epicus Doomus


    Obviously that should read “mortgage”….ooops.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    “Significant like Lisa’s teen pregnancy arc, or the Lisa post office bombing arc, or the Lisa dies of cancer arc… Oh yes, collections of comic strips are the same as comic books and I bet the average sucker, er… loyal fan… would pay me big money for the original prints if I hadn’t tarnished their memory by keeping them in constant flashback rotation! Mommy?”

  5. O.B. Dan

    Epicus, I love those altered strips!

  6. Chyron HR

    As a courtesy to our readers, here is an actual punchline to insert into today’s strip:

    “No, I’m looking for Starbuck Jones, not Flash Gordon.”

  7. John

    John: *superior smirk* “The Flash is a super-hero with super speed powers. He has a long, intricate, convoluted legacy, which I will now describe to you in full, ignorant female!”

    Holly: “…oh, he was the red one.”

    John: *huff-huff* “The -RED- one?!? THE RED ONE?!?”

    Holly: “I just want the one in the fishbowl helmet who does steroids, okay?”

    John: *sputter* “COW!”

    Holly: “Oh, get an effin’ LIFE. That does it. I’m just going to go to the publisher’s website and order a cheap, affordable trade paperback of the early issues!” ***SLAM***

    (eighteen hours pass)

    John: “….THE…RED….ONE…GAH!”


    What a lovely rendered Christmas tree n Panel 2. It’s not too gaudy, it ‘s not to bare. It really is a nice piece of artwork. Really you don’t see Christmas trees drawn well in comics these days. Huh? Oh right! The Comic Book plot.. Sorry , but that Christmas tree really is the most interesting thing in this strip! It sure as hell isn’t the plot or these two characters!!

  9. billytheskink

    Despite being the source of his nickname, DSH’s haircut had not truly jumped the shark until panel 2 today. No wonder Holly looks puzzled, she’s trying to figure out how John was replaced between panels by Funky wearing reading glasses and the world’s shortest bearskin hat.

  10. Ha ha ha, people who don’t know everything about every comic book title ever are stupid losers, and everyone should laugh at them!!! Because they’re losers!!!!

  11. Epicus Doomus

    “Well, Holly, a geek is someone who never shuts up about their comic book collection. A dork is kind of the same, only a little more annoying and stupid. A dweeb is someone who has no other interests aside from comics. And a loser is someone who hangs out in comic shops all day but never buys anything, and/or a comic shop owner. The terms are more or less interchangeable.”

  12. Charles

    She’s making the type of classic “duhhh” face that we usually see on Bull.

    She’s totally Bull in a wig made of whipped sweet potatoes.

    I’ll latch onto someone’s comment from a couple days ago and point out that Holly in Panel 2 appears to be pantomiming “Pie goes here!”

    It amazes me how everyone indulges the Batiuk-stand-ins when they’re behaving all douchy like Gross John here. If I were Holly, I’d simply have told him to STFU and told him to go find the stupid comic books I was looking for.

    Also, Gross John appears to be setting up to rip Holly off more than he appears to be trying to help her.

  13. I have a feeling Batiuk is the kind of comic nerd that other comic nerds try to avoid.