So, after completely and totally ignoring their old buddy Kahn for several years, they bid him adieu with some jaunty, obnoxious banter, just so he’ll have something to remember them by. What a couple of swell pals. I like how Wally’s little joke suggests that FW readers are familiar with Kahn’s (they called him Khan back then) sketchy past even though he only appears once every decade or so, as well as Funky once again establishing his “if you can’t say something witless just babble like a moron instead” philosophy that’s served him so well through the years. And credit where’s it’s due, I love the look on Kahn’s face, that bemused serenity….it’s almost like he’s planning something, know what I mean?
As far as I can remember, Kahn is the first character to be written-out of FW since Susan Smith was snidely dismissed maybe three or four years ago. Coach Stropp died, but that doesn’t count. One has to wonder why Batom Inc. felt compelled to eliminate a seldom-seen character like Kahn in such an “official” way. I mean would it have killed him to just keep him where he was, just to give the impression that Westview isn’t a complete ghost town? Was getting rid of Kahn necessary for the sake of an upcoming arc (Funky expands the business, Cory accidentally kills Kahn) or was it just random? And what was with that peculiar conversation yesterday about “inquiries” into the place? This reads like it’s a set-up for something, which probably means absolutely nothing is forthcoming. And the name thing (Khan/Kahn), it’s all just so freaking weird.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I’ve said it before. Batiuk wants things to be unhappy. If a character is mentioned, they will be unhappy. If a character tries to do anything, they will be unhappy.
I have made several lists of all the things that Batiuk could do with his characters that would be both nice for them and would develop them. But he hasn’t shown any signs that he himself has thought of anything of the sort. I think that should speak for itself.
My theory is that Cory will be called upon to interact with the locals during his tour of duty, so Batiuk is shipping K(h)a(h)n back over there in order to avoid having to create another character for the purpose. Because he’s already got a token minority in that particular demographic, so why would he bother writing another one?
I like how in Kahn/Khan’s big farewell strip, he doesn’t even get to say anything. He just smiles wearily while the two men he thought would see through his “I’m totally going out of business” lie as the cry for help it actually was smirk and dismiss him, their minds already on ANYTHING but helping him.
Ye gawds, just when I think this strip can’t hit a new low, Tom digs deeper.
Diva, that makes so much sense it’s scary. D:
“If you see Cory over there tell him to call his parents…the ones who just saw him yesterday… and Skype with his mom regularly.”
I hope CW gets taken prisoner and Wally goes back to hook up with Kahn/Khan to find him
Citizen Kahn: Sleeper Cell.
I realized something while looking at that strip some more. This is one of the rare instances where I actually hate the characters of the strip. Normally I think that besides Les they’re just stupid, annoying and unsympathetic. But for this strip, I actually hate them. I want them to suffer.
And Merry, it just hit me too. But then why should we expect Batiuk to remember something that he wrote at most a few months previously?
It’s probably been pointed out before, but Kahn seems to have sort of a Dead Skunk Head thing going on.
Oh, yeah…long time ago, in the early days of Act III…but Kahn seems a little less “skunky” than he use to be, back when there was DHS I and DHS II.
Ahhh, the memories…they’ve gone to Funktoni’s Pizza to die a slow death…
If you see Cory over there…
Oh, yeah…like there’s any chance he won’t. Afghanistan was annexed by Funkytown waaaaaaaaaaay back, even before Our Lady Of Perpetual Visitation died of cancer, which inspired her husband to write a second book about someone who died. Not a chance we won’t be visiting Funkyshithole…
While this arc appears to be setting something up long-term (either Funky buying the property, Cory crossing paths with Kahn in Afghanistan or some unholy combination of those two things), let’s bear in mind Rule One of FW predictions: if it sounds interesting in any way whatsoever it’s probably too interesting for the strip. There’s a pretty fair chance that this is just pointless blathering and nothing more and there’s also a pretty good chance it’ll just become yet another dangling plot thread that TB may or may not re-visit someday. Every time I try to speculate on where a FW arc is going or how a storyline will play out, TB manages to confound me with his knack for finding the most boring common denominator. Funky expanding Montoni’s or Kahn encountering Cory back home seem like logical places to go with this story, which is exactly why I’d be surprised to see either of those things happen.
I know it’s a relatively minor detail among all the things Batiuk screwed up, but…
Good job failing to close up prior to the new year, dumbass. Now you’ll have to prepare taxes for next April as well. I suppose that might be another reason for him inexplicably fleeing to Afghanistan. I also bet that decision will remain inexplicable.
C’mon guys. This is really a cause for celebration. A somewhat likeable character is leaving this godforsaken town of Westview. Granted, he’s going to war-torn Afghanistan, but still this is as close to a happy ending as we’ll ever get in Funky Winkerbean.
This grows more depressing still when one realizes that this arc reveals the same thing the Evil Frankie arc did about Darin and Jess: He has no friends. Just his former employer and the guy he kind of, sort of knew in Afghanistan. No friends. YEARS in this town, and these are the ONLY PEOPLE HE KNOWS.
It is horrifying.
One of the few to leave Westville feet first. Still I expect to hear he’s stepped on a land mine at some point.
Based on the fact that Cory is going on mine sweeping detail when he returns, it would not surprise me if Cory saves Khahn’s life at some point in the future.
The only way this arc could get “better” is if Batominc also misspelled “Citizen” and “Deli”.
Citisun Kann’s Delhi. Perfect!
Batominc is really giving Ed Wood a run for his money.
Let’s bear in mind Rule One of FW predictions: if it sounds interesting in any way whatsoever it’s probably too interesting for the strip.
Uhhh, okay…doesn’t eliminate any of the dull-as-paint-drying arcs you mentioned…