You know, if I were a callous, horrid, jobless beady-eyed nitpicker, I’d be damned tempted to say that this strip is posted above the ol’ FW drawing board as a motto of inspiration. Or at least a plan. “Tell fewer jokes.”
In fairness, Batiuk is right that the vast majority of “I’m going to get healthy” resolutions are quickly abandoned. (in unfairness, it should be noted this is another hardly a new insight. Jokes of this nature have been in the comics for decades.) I actually belong to a gym, and when January rolls around, the place is stuffed to the gills.
But it never lasts. Tonight, a little over three weeks into the new year, the levels are back down to normal. Exercise is hard work, and it tends to be dull, too; you really have to push yourself to stay with it. Once you get past a certain threshold, though, you find your body needs it and it becomes far less of a chore.
As for Funky, I seriously doubt his exercise arc will continue past this week, for two reasons. The first is that Funky is far too passive, depressive and weak-willed to make any significant change in his downward spiral. I’m always amazed to see him in the strip, as it means he’s managed to haul himself out of bed.
The second reason is that, even by Funky Winkerbean standards, this has been one damned boring storyline. I think stretching it beyond a week would tax Tom Batiuk’s abilities, though I confess I wouldn’t put it past him to try.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Well this does follow with the FW ideal of “do not try to accomplish anything”.
However if this was one of those resolutions you never intend to keep, why didn’t he just point that out to his wife and ask her when SHE was planning on hitting the gym?
As a great man once said…”ponderous man, f*cking ponderous”. This must be the twentieth “fat lazy sweaty Funky fails at exercising again” arc of Act III. But there’s no way I’m going to look it up, so it shall remain a guess, at least until Batom Inc. gets us the full (and free) online (and fully cross-referencable) archive we, as FW “fans”, deserve. They’re all the same, too: Funky is fat, he starts exercising, he sweats, he complains, he quits. It’s just one of those premises that isn’t anywhere close to being as funny as Batom thinks it is, as is the case with so, so many others.
A real online FW archive would be awesome. Imagine being able to enter a simple string of words like “dick, face, smug, cock, sucker, Les” and being able to pull up all thirty-seven trillion related strips just like that? It’d be an invaluable resource for many tens of people, no question. I know I’d sign up for a free anonymous account there, definitely.
Welcome to Westview, where failure is a kind of success all its own.
Funky’s entire dialogue could be the Westview’s town motto.
(in unfairness, it should be noted this is another hardly a new insight. Jokes of this nature have been in the comics for decades.
Seriously. When you’re rooting through Cathy Guisewite’s ‘rejected joke’ garbage for stuff to plagiarize, it’s time to term in your pencils and pens. You’re done.
Sunday we’ll see Funky and Les jogging in the park as if none of this ever happened.
Funky’s entire dialogue could be the Westview’s town motto.
Most of the town skips the middle step, though. In fact, Funky is possibly the only person in town who has ever put enough effort into anything to “gradually taper off”.
Funky: “I plan to start being funny three to four days a week. Gradually crack actual jokes -not- reliant on the evils of teenagers, technology, bitterness, or smirking with my mouth completely on one side of my face. And then…I’ll…I’ll stop talking about pizza, comics, and coffee! I’ll meet new people who aren’t the exact same thrre or four people I’ve known for four decades!….Awww, who am I kidding?”
three, even!
As this is one of those Funky Winkerbean story arcs that Glaciers snicker at as they speed by, one assumes that come Monday we will be treated to some neck snapping time compression – my guess is that the spawn of Lisa Jr. will be walking and talking and making bad puns.
I plan to start reading Funky Winkerbean three to four days a week…
Gradually taper off…
And then give up altogether.
Well, that WAS the plan; but the snark here keeps me coming back to Westview!