Today’s strip show’s Tom B’s uncanny ability to turn the human head into a hatchet as Holly can scarcely believe her luck at getting yet *another* rare Starbucks Jones comic for next to nothing.
Considering the last guy charged her a buck, I guess this deal is even sweeter. What’s next? Will someone pony up the money to cover her gas money for the drive out to pick up the comic?
Once again, TomBat tries to push us into a corner by making us feel like if we’re criticizing these comics, we’re being critical of our brave men and women in the armed forces. But this nonsense is so far removed from reality that Cory might as well be fighting in the Unicorn Wars.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I guess TB feels cancer as a cause of death has been played out. Next up diabetes.
The really awful thing about this is that after enduring all that nonsensical blathering she only managed to obtain one more issue. Which means she’s going to be working her “my kid’s in the army” routine at least a few more times before Cory arrives home to dismiss her efforts with a sarcastic nonchalant remark of some sort. I like how good she’s become at feigning surprise, though. I also like how the Crankshafts store their memories of better times up in the attic where they’ll never see them. So Batiukian.
And—glurge!
“Perfect!” exclaims Batominc, as he pictures himself rounding the bases of a disproportionately tiny baseball diamond. “Print it!”
Oh, have I used that trope before?
Well, now I can see this plot being dragged (drug?) out a wee bit longer. Holly goes to the Post Office to mail the comics and the Post Office is promptly blown up. “It blowed up real good!”
Funky, at that very moment, is moping (or is it mopping) around Montoni’s and cries out “Starbuck Jones!” when he hears the explosions and runs, well waddles, towards the Post Office. Crazy Harry and Wally smirk sardonically. While waddling to the rescue Funky is hit by a chick driving SUV talking on a cell phone (either Funky or the chick take your pick) and he goes into a coma where he tells his former self not to buy any more Starbuck Jones comics cause sometime in the future,after an ill thought out and poorly executed time jump or two, people will just be given those issues away to Holly for free.
Yung Funky:”Holly Budd, the majorette?”
Old Funky:”Yes”
Young Funky:”Is it because she’s so hot, thin, has a great personalty and puts out?”
Old Funky smirks sardonically, then shakes his head and waddles back to consciousness.
Meanwhile back at the post office Holly’s life was saved because the force of the blast was directed toward her box of Starbuck Jones. Unfortunately the comic books don’t make it, but some biker dude with tattoos gives Holly the entire set cause it is for the troops.
In Afghanistan Corey receives the books, is almost blown up (blowed up) by something and he and Rocky are saved by Khan. The books are destroyed in the blast, but Rocky’s commanding office gives Corey another complete set of Starbucks Jones for free cause that is just the way he rolls.
Corey and Rocky return to the States are married, Corey gets testicular cancer, it goes in remission, then returns and is misdiagnosed and he croaks, but not before the leaves turn and Rocky has a child and there is a time jump, where Corey warns Rocky off airplanes and watches her make out with her new boyfriend. She teaches at Westview.
Les writes a book and it is turned into a screen play after much angst.
Lather rinse repeat.
Oh and Fred says “Jff” a few times.
Again, this arc would be a lot more effective, and might actually be affecting, if the recipient of all this largesse weren’t friggin’ Rotten-to-the-Cory Winkerbean.
F*ck you Tom and the horse you rode in on.
What’s this trying to play the sympathy/support card for our troops vs-a-vie comic books?
Hey everyone rally around “comic books for the troops”…BUT when a 10 year captive POW returns…piss on him. No greetings, zero public support, no friends ,abandoned by his children, let me (tom) continue to depict him as social pariah only capable of washing dishes and dropping out of community college.
How about changing over to “Shoes for Industry” instead of comic books.
*sigh* Caaaaaalled it.
Gyre over at the NJ site had a horrid thought: what if TV Cindy is back for the purpose of and to cover this oh-so-heart-warming-story of a loving BlobMom, comics, and her no good punk & can’t be criticized son? What if the story goes national? This would be a Bats dream of self type of arc. (“So ABC won’t interview me huh! I’ll show them I’m important.”) My anal sphincter rebels at the thought of future duties required.