Finally, our twenty-three year long national nightmare is about to come to an end as Plantman is at long last going to reveal the late John Darling’s very last dying words and (zzzzzzzzz). Me, I’m more amazed that TB finally drew a woman with normal regular-sized buttocks, which had to be a real challenge for him, what with going “off template” like that and all (and none of those weird pareidolia faces he sometimes does just to freak us out either, thank God).
So here’s the big twist of TB’s little John Darling victory lap story, eh? Forget the documentary, throw out the motive. Plantman has a world exclusive…JD’s very last dying words! What a great documentary film this would have made if only someone had thought about bringing a camera and…ooops, never mind. Anyhow, we can only guess at what these alleged “last words” might be, but if I know my FW history I can guarantee they’ll be something really stupid. Possibly pun and or wordplay based, maybe involving inclement weather, a chance of sentimental mawkishness as well but most definitely stupid. Just you wait and see.
An afterthought: why doesn’t “Plantman” speak in plant-based pun form? You know, like “leaf-ing so soon?” (credit: Jeffcoat) or “let’s get to the roots of the problem” or “enough of your vining”, stuff like that. Some arch-villain HE turned out to be.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I can’t get over Jessica’s face in the last panel. She doesn’t look like someone who is shocked. She looks like someone who was just brought into existence about five seconds ago–perhaps a statue come to life. It’d make a great Rankin-Bass holiday special, wouldn’t it? “Jessica–the Statue Whose Dad, John Darling, Was Murdered.”
As for Plantman knowing Johnny Rotten’s (GREAT title today, Epicus!) last words–who else would know them? Plantman was there at the end, after all.
I imagine John Darling’s last words were “Buy Starbuck Jones number one…it’ll be handy some day…”
Much to do about nothing.
Oh Tom has presented us with what “was” leading up to some dramatic conclusions in the past…..only to just drop the arch and drift to something totally beguine.
Master of Suspense?
Only in his own mind.
It just continues to be so poorly written.
I’m guessing MFJD’s last words were “At least now the syndicate can’t use me!”
Nice cameo by Roger Daltry in the 3rd panel. So really… what the fuck? I enjoy the beating Tom gets here, but I cannot believe he gets paid for this bilge. FW was mildly pleasant in the 70s and 80s. I missed the whole damn Lisa getting pregnant crap which just sounds like “and now on a very special Funky Winkerbean.” How can he say he tackles reality when he is no where near it? Kilimanjaro AND Les comes back for a day to hear Funky name his car? Then back to the mountains? W.T.F? I have stated before that I like Kili the black kitten (wish that character would come back) Buddy the dog and… I honestly do not hate the poor sap Wally. But this dreck just tells me that TB needs to pack it in before his untalented ego implodes.
I have a hard time believing John Darling was killed off in order to prevent the syndicate using the character after dumping Batiuk. FW at its peak was in quite a few papers, but John Darling? No one cared.
Last words? “Don’t shoot the face.”
Final words: “I didn’t know you were packing a pistil!”
Oh, so now the woman who was talking to John Darling when he got shot not only didn’t see the guy in the big plant costume do it, she also didn’t hear his last words that were clearly audible to the murderer?
Hey, Tom, maybe you need to re-draw the murder scene as one of your patented photo album flashbacks, since it obviously no longer happened the way you originally wrote it.
“What? This man, who murdered my father, John Darling, knows what my father John Darling’s last words were?” She’s not only stupid, she’s STILL NOT FILMING.
Knowing TB we won’t get the last words until Saturday, which gives a 2 days to come up with better (probably not much of a challenge) last lines than him. My submission, “Thank you, now I’ll never have to see Les Moore’s smirk or hear his lame ass puns again.”
Plantman would have made a great internet troll.
BTW, Something I have always wondered. Why would killing off John Darling prevent the syndicate from using him?
Couldn’t they just say that John Darling survived his assassination attempt and continue on from there? Or hell, go through the whole “it was all, just a dream” schtick that Dallas used. Was this murder that much a deal breaker?
I’d love to see the actual JD comic strips showing the murder so we can officially call bullshit on this. I wasn’t able to locate them anywhere on the internet.
@$$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$, I’ve wondered about that also. Since the syndicate sees the strips in advance they could have just not run them. Of course maybe they saw what we see now and just wanted a TB strip to die.
@bobanero, I couldn’t find one either. I did find this disturbing photo of TB relaxing at home.
His last words were: “Do you mind? I’m trying to make a phone call here.”
My guesses as to what JD’s last words were:
1. Why did you kill me, lover?
2. I had an extramarital affair.
3. I know the ending of THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD.
4. I know who really killed JFK.
5. I’m not Jessica’s Biodad. He was some guy named Frankie who played quarterback for Big Walnut Tech.
Even if Plantman is going to tell the truth, why would Jessica believe him. He murdered her father, John Darling, for Pete’s sake! It’s like why did Frankie believed what Summer was reading was actually Lisa’s Diary. Mr. “Quarter-inch from Reality” strikes again.
Watch this. His last words are those of gratitude because he found out that he had inoperable jerkass television celebrity cancer.
I think you missed the butt face in panel 1. Ladies & gentlemen, I give you Grumpy Cat.
Other possibitiy for last words: “hey! Occupied! Either shut the door or get me a magazine.”
I wonder if TF has a copy of John Darling’s murder strips somewhere. Be nice to put it up if he has them.
To: $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$
From: The Desk of Tom Batiuk
Re: John Darling’s murder strips
Like I’m going to help you nitpickers point out my continuity problems? You folks aren’t writers and can’t understand that the creative process is unbound by time, space, and/or logic.
Common decency and fair play also don’t enter into the process.
I get the feeling John Darling’s fake last words are going to be something maudlin like “Tell my daughter Jessica Darling how much her father John Darling loves her.” Did I say maudlin? I meant stupid.