He Who Must Not Be Named (And He Who Always Must Be)

Link To Today’s Strip

I think I know who Plantman is talking about here. He’s referring to that smug, annoying, destestable and loathsome bearded dick with ears who first made it fashionable to use John Darling’s entire name every single time John Darling gets a mention. I f*cking hate that guy and his f*cking books.

So finally we’re almost maybe possibly almost near the “big reveal” where we find out what John Darling’s long-lost last words were. Even though this arc was orginally about something else entirely, but hey, something’s possibly about to happen and that in and of itself is noteworthy. If it’s anything like the rest of this arc (and the entire strip in general) I’m sure it’ll be absolutely gripping and emotionally devastating. And by that I mean cripplingly stupid and woefully unfunny. But you all already knew that.

And here’s hoping that after Plantman shreds Jessica’s remaining delusions about belief in her father (?) perhaps she could drop by Batom Inc. World HQ and shred any remaining arcs that involve John Darling. That would be a far more worthy waste of her time, unlike this idiotic film scheme of hers which is clearly going nowhere. After this arc, I feel she owes us at least that much.

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Author: Epicus Doomus

V.P. at SoSF. Does not approve of new WP layout at all.

17 thoughts on “He Who Must Not Be Named (And He Who Always Must Be)”

  1. On one hand, Plantman recognizes Les is a hack, which makes him better than anyone in the regular cast. On the other, he shatters dreams for a living, which makes him the closest in-universe embodiment of Batiuk himself.

  2. Since Bats has no sense of continuity or sense/period for that manner, last words…uh…”I love you, Lisa”? This would fit his goof style.

  4. John Darling’s final words were “Jessica is not my kid!” See it will turnout that Jessica’s parents were separated when she was conceived and her mother was having an affair. Jessica’s real father turns out to be the dude who date-raped Lisa all those years ago. Yes, as the world turns, Jessica has accidentally married, and had a child, with her own brother! This explains why look alike 🙂

  5. The dialog is worse than usual, especially in panel 3. He really ought to read the speech balloons aloud in the presence of speakers of English, but why would he start a QA or editing process after 4 decades?

     

  6. OK I got here late last night and saw the comic embedded in EP’s post (before today’s strip was “live” on Comics Kingdom) and thought it was a parody. Well I was half right — it was self parody.

    So well played TB, you demonstrate that Poe’s law can be applied to comics.

    And what is with Plantman’s mouth in P2.

    And what was his deal in the original John Darling anyway. I don’t think I ever read a single JD strip and have no recollection of it at all (I was daily reader of FW until shortly after the first time jump).

  7. Plantman is just doing this to catch another glimpse of Jessica’s rear-end, isn’t he?

  8. Because this strip deals in maudlin emotion, I’m thinking that John Darling’s last words are going to be something having to do with Jessica. “I’ll never see my beautiful baby girl again!” or something like that. So we can end this miserable arc with a hug, and Jessica’s shattered view of her father can be pieced together again.

    Because honestly, NO ONE has said anything nice about John Darling. Which means this documentary is going nowhere. But TB can’t just have John Darling trashed over and over; that’s not going to bring the soppy sentimentality. So he’ll pull a (easily predictable) “Fast one.”

    That’s the way this strip rolls…out of the road and into the ditch.

  9. I stood up and applauded after reading panel 2.

    While my efforts to find the final John Darling strips have thud far proven fruitless, “enjoy” most of the first week of the strip alongside Act I of FW in the links below. Les fails at shaving for the first time (but not the last), while JD’s very first talk show guest attempts to murder him on camera…

    Monday, March 26, 1979 – That’s creepy Pete’s dad with the beard
    Tuesday, March 27, 1979 – Topical!
    Wednesday, March 28, 1979 – OJ Simpson? Really?
    Friday, March 30, 1979 – Les cheats his father
    Saturday, March 31, 1979 – Musical acts like to make an income
    Sunday, April 1, 1979 – Very nearly the last JD strip

    Strips courtesy of the Spokane Spokesman-Review, and Google Newspapers.

  11. Interesting that in those strips you posted, John Darling interviews the guy who is essentially the John Darling of Rock and Roll.

  13. Thanks Billy, awesome stuff. I wonder if TB knows how litigious Gene Simmons can be?

  15. Plantman is just doing this to catch another glimpse of Jessica’s rear-end, isn’t he?

    Hasn’t every guy in Westview?

  16. Okay, I’m calling shenanigans on those John Darling and Funky Winkerbean strips. Some of those were actually funny so I know they’re not real!

  17. BC: Check those dates. TB still had a sense of humor back then, he didn’t lose it until Lisa came along in the 80’s and ruined him.

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