I’m writing this before I know what the strip is going to be, because I’m lazy and hate doing research, and only want to talk about things that interest me, like fungi from Yuggoth and the best pearl-handled revolvers.
Ha ha, just kidding. But it has been a long, long week in the real world, so I’m not going to stay up until midnight to find out what kind of a let-down the week has been building to. I know, I know! Dereliction of duty, put that man in irons, Mr. Fibuli.
Well, since none of us will know what Saturday’s offering will bring until midnight, here’s my speculation, panel by panel.
Panel 1 – Holly covers her face in her hands as the, uh, computer, um, announces the winner of the Starbuck Jones auction in the background. That’s how eBay works, right?
Panel 2 -Holly says, “Oh, Cory, I only wanted to do something to bring us closer–”
Panel 3 – Holly, weighed down with several rifles and automatic weapons, heads to the front door. “–instead, I’ll do something so you can remember me.”
I’m posting this before midnight because see: above about being lazy. Let’s all meet back here tomorrow night at the same time, and we can talk about how Sunday a) wraps everything up nicely (yay!) or b) portends a second week of comic-book hunting (boo!).
UPDATE: And the lamest possible outcome…one that no one, including myself, anticipated…turns out to be the winner.
Tom Batiuk, you still have the power to dazzle us. Although I think “dazzle” might be the wrong word, here…
Son of Stuck Funky 
Haven’t seen it yet either, but I know what’s coming! She’s going to be outbid, but still end up with the issue, anyway!
Is in spoil fun so kidneys Jff
Wait…Holly actually went to some effort to obtain an issue? Is she allowed to do that, what with her son Overseas Serving His Country and all?
That was much more awful than a I thought it would be!
If tomorrow’s strip isn’t a sidewards SJ cover (Octo-Shark!) with a little bubble devoted to Funky saying “you spent HOW MUCH????” as Holly looks on in shame, well, I’ll be very mildly surprised. I was really rooting against her but whatever, she was going to get them all eventually anyway.
Okay, I should be asleep, but I can’t let this go.
I’m not a comic book person, and while I have gone onto eBay in search of various and sundry, I wouldn’t consider myself an expert there
But this ending…well, it isn’t just stupid. It’s entirely contemptuous of the audience to which it is ostensibly aimed.
There has never been a system on eBay which informs you simply when another bid has been placed. You’re informed when you’ve been outbid, and that’s all. You have a chance, then, to bid more.
But this…it’s way beyond stupid, it’s even way beyond offensively stupid. And it shows that Tom Batiuk puts NO THOUGHT AT ALL into these so-called stories.
Look at the number of pings, there. Holly’s bid was $10, right? So any rational person would have to assume that the bidding started at .25 cents, and all these super Starbuck Jones fans just kept heaping on the PENNIES until they exhausted their fortunes, and Holly, with her ten dollar bid, won a KEY ISSUE of Starbuck Jones. You know, one of the valuable issues that might be hard to get. Yeah…hard to get if your budget is more than nine dollars.
Apparently, Starbuck Jones was a comic solely collected by losers. Which fits in nicely with Cory Winkerbean. Thanks for reminding us all!
Dear Mr. Batiuk: I had the impression that you liked comic books, and comic book fans. I am going to have to revise that impression; it appears you really have no respect or liking for anyone.
TB has no clue as to how eBay works. In fact his understanding is so bad I’m amazed he managed to spell it correctly.
Let’s see: a pompous dullard’s poorly researched arc comes to a ludicrous conclusion owing to his unswerving belief that he, despite all evidence to the contrary, knows everything and even if proven wrong, he smugly believes that things should happen as he assumes they should and not as the laws of common sense and common decency mandate. Same old, same old.
DOLz: Tomorrow’s Sideways Strip of Smugly Refusing To Accomodate Web Surfers of KILLING SMALL BUSINESSES should have Morbo tell Batomic Comic Obsessive “Online Auctioning Does Not Work That Way!!!”
Tom Batiuk thinks eBay works like Sotheby’s, only with the auctioneer declaring an official time limit. Don’t think so, Chap.
Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Snarkety! Click! Tappety tick! Clickety tap! Beady-eyed nitpick! Nailed it!
—Sound effects as Batominc imagines our activities here.
Well, at least THIS part of the thing is over. Perhaps next week, we’ll get to a really crummy prom or Les whining about how e-VILE Hollywood is for removing the ‘honesty’ from his script of pointless bleakness.
Within the last 2 minutes of on-line bidding….if you are doing it manually, you’ll get about 4 chances to increase your bid against those evil automatic bidders.
I’m willing to give TB a pass on this. I think the wall of ping-clicks is there for dramatic effect, and not necessarily intended to represent the actual number of ping-clicks that occurred in the final moments of bidding. I’m just happy to see Holly finally acquire one of these comics without relying on some sappy “for the troops” intervention. The best way to finish would be to show the comic cover tomorrow with Holly in the corner signing over the deed to Montoni’s to the seller.
” The best way to finish would be to show the comic cover tomorrow with Holly in the corner signing over the deed to Montoni’s to the seller.”
Would a smart seller accept that???
“Within the last 2 minutes of on-line bidding….if you are doing it manually, you’ll get about 4 chances to increase your bid against those evil automatic bidders.”
Assuming you are experienced…………
is there any reason for anybody to care that Holly got this? The entire Satrbuck Jones saga has been Holly getting what she wants everytime. This has all the drama of drying white paint.
I guess this is how Batiuk depicts a woman “accomplishing” her goals. He sees this as an adventure of some type. Ohio must be the bleakest place on earth.
“The entire Satrbuck Jones saga has been Holly getting what she wants everytime.”
Especially since she didn’t get “aging attractively” in the life saga…….
This will probably – in the future – have part of the arc where Funky finds out how much she spent and it puts them in fiscal danger. Funky teeters on the edge of alcoholism again. I have a fantasy were commando terrorists break into Batiuk’s house. They bind and gag him, and the artist of their group redraws a Dallas-style beginning for the group where it is all a dream. Les wakes up in his early 30s – Lisa is in the shower. Funky and Cindy are together. Everyone lives happily ever after and has fun sitcom adventures. Nothing is retconned from the 70s. The computer makes an appearance. Batiuk’s syndicate emails what a great job he’s doing. All the while all Tom can do is scream behind his gag because he can’t spread the misery anymore.