Reneger Please

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June 30, 2014 at 11:47 am
“If you take their money, it’s their turn to tell the story”. Michael Connelly on asking whether it bothered him about the changes that occurred when his novel Blood Work was adapted to a movie.

I think it was a polite way of saying “I cried all the way to the bank”.

If this is not Les at his most pathetic and unlikable, then I don’t want to be around when he finally sinks to that nadir. When he insisted on writing his screenplay, his agent clearly informed him that the studio would likely rewrite it. “Hollywood” sent him a huge check and then patiently waited a year while Les struggled to turn in a screenplay. They flew him (and his imaginary cat) to Hollywood, booked him a fancy hotel room, and fed him tandoori chicken. Feeling thus “betrayed” and alone, Les calls Cayla back in Ohio. But rather than depict honest human conversation between husband and wife (during which maybe Cayla tells Les to get over himself), Batiuk treats us to another obscure comic “tribute’ which equates Les’ Hollywood experience with being dropped into a pit of vipers. My favorite part is how Cowboy Les, even in this dire predicament, still has this “why me?” look on his face.

The original (more colorful) Rawhide Kid cover

Rawhide Kid on Wikipedia

22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Reneger Please

  1. DOlz

    Wow I got a cameo In today’s strip. That’s me in the background telling the guy to cut the rope. Ah good times.

  2. The “agent clearly informed him link” leads to today’s strip.

    Can somebody show a strip when Les was PROMISED anything.

    Anyone,

    Bueller…Bueller….

    TFH sez: Fixed!

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Other than the infamous New Year’s Eve dance, this is maybe the single most annoying Les Moore strip in the history of Act III. It makes no sense at all and the dick with ears is at his whiniest and most pathetic. Batom’s weird “Lisa’s Story” matryr fantasy is a really sorry display of wishful thinking and quite a revealing glimpse into his bizarre and wildly out of touch mind if you ask me. This “story” has been YEARS in the making and all the Pulitzer nominee could deliver is a bunch of pitiful whimpering about that fictional f*cking cancer book? Does he really think anyone anywhere could possibly relate to this dreck? Maybe it’s time for someone to suggest some professional help to get him over his insane Lisa fantasies already, because this is so bad it’s actually troubling.

    TFH: Killer title today!!!

  4. I would LOVE to know what they “promised” him. “Oh yeah, Lisa will die, pretty early on, too, because we really want to focus on this ‘Les’ guy. You know, what does he think? What are his opinions? What’s he really like, what does he look for in a girl–other than dying quickly, I mean. I’m thinking we can get a whole series of ‘Les’ movies in which he goes around proving his superiority to everyone with a sneer and a smirk.”

  5. Yeah, what exactly did they promise him? More money? A different five-star hotel? Curry vindaloo instead of tandoori chicken? Truly, not since Judas Iscariot has there been a treachery of this magnitude.

  6. spacemanspiff85

    Going along the same vein as TheDiva, I’ve got a strong feeling Batiuk’s first draft off this was a riff on the Last Supper, with Les being betrayed by Clay.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    Although I do enjoy the idea of Les being killed, though.

  8. Howard and Nester

    @Epicus Doomus
    “Other than the infamous New Year’s Eve dance, this is maybe the single most annoying Les Moore strip in the history of Act III.”
    In no particular order, is this strip:

    1.) More irritating then Les smugging it up over Funky naming his car Snowball and not getting the Animal Farm reference?
    2.) More annoying than Les telling Funky that he screwed up and commanding him to sit while giving his apology?
    3.) More obnoxious than Les imagining himself hitting a home run for his script?
    4.) More loathsome than Les telling Susan that it was a heckuva kiss after she was fired?
    5.) More vexing than Les telling Susan that she really knew how to crazy it up?
    6.) More punchworthy than Les whining about how Hollywood picking up his script validated his persecution complex against an English professor that gave him an F?
    7.) More wretched than Les refusing to look a fan in the eye during a book signing and telling her TMI?
    8.) More repulsive than Les trying to crack wise at the Mt. Kilamanjaro tour guide’s expense?
    9.) More murder-inducing than Les cocking his head like a pigeon and telling Owen to google his textbook?
    10.) More galling than Les using his supposed friendship with Funky and Crazy Harry to let Maddie and Corey get away with cheating with little more than a slap on the wrist?

    Let’s face it, as awful as today’s strip, this little pity party doesn’t even crack the top ten of worst Les Moore moments. And merely typing that sentence makes me want to pass out in an alcohol coma.

  9. Guest Page Turner Author

    I have an all-encompassing, passionate hatred for this simpering wimp, and on this warm summer’s eve, I find myself more outraged than ever before! He represents everything wrong with everything that is wrong with everything; tonight, he enrages me so deeply.

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Howard and Nester: Sure, I may have overstated the case just a little, but still, come on, this one ranks right up there on an individual strip basis. As TFH mentioned, look at the “woe the fate of a cancer book author” look on Cowboy Les’ sorry mug as he’s being cruelly persecuted for his cancer book beliefs. Look at that Sunday “reality bubble” where’s he’s exhaustedly slouching after a rough week of complaining and eating, whining on the phone about things that never actually happened. The urge to kill him is just overwhelming today. I really do detest these “LS” related arcs with a passion, especially the Delicate Genius stuff.

    But I do see your point. Perhaps in the future I’ll refrain from trying to rank each Les atrocity and accept that they’re all really equally heinous. Except for the NYE one that is, which will probably never be topped. And also thank you for the flood of repressed memories as well.

  11. 2.) More annoying than Les telling Funky that he screwed up and commanding him to sit while giving his apology?

    The ULTIMATE “Les is the WORST” arc. It still baffles all mankind that Funky didn’t kill Les right then and there. “I screwed up.” “Yes you did.” “Do you know what this is?” “Yeah, it looks like a Remington 12-gauge,”

  12. It’s one thing to be the smug asshole Les is. It’s quite another to be a smug asshole whose assholery is such that he won’t give the world the satisfaction of being happy with anything. Do the people trying to kill an unwatchable film about people no one could care about live down to one of worse arsewipe’s expectations? Yes. Does he feel the urge to gloat about being right? No….because that would mean smiling and he’s too ‘deep’ for that.

    No wonder I think of him as an author avatar. He might as well change his name to Funkyfan and have done with it.

  13. Damn it, just get to the part when Les tell everybody off and be done with it! This is turning into a GIL THORP storyline wherein the plot goes nowhere for weeks, then in the last week or two is resolved in the silliest way imaginable.

  14. Sgt. Saunders

    The title made me wonder what if Cayla was more of a Louise Jefferson. She would take about this much of Les’ pathetic whining before delivering a withering “Honky, please!”. There would be some hearty canned laughter and the everyone could move on.

  15. Rusty

    More loathsome Les: Telling Cayla how Lisa used to make the sandwiches;
    and reminiscing outside Montoni’s about how his great career began in the shitty walk-up apartment.

    I had one copy of a Rawhide Kid magazine when I was a child, I could never remember the name of it but had really liked the artwork. So thanks, Batiuk, for stealing that just for its title.

  16. Epicus Doomus

    Everyone has their own worst Les memory ever, there are just so many to chose from. The one where he forced Funky to apologize to him was especially bad. The arc where he banished Susan was another one. Me, I’ve always despised anything Lisa related, I’d always fly into a rage during those park bench scenes, especially when he’d draw it from a distance from behind. Blech.

  17. Gyre

    Strangely my worst FW memory isn’t about Les Moore, though those do make up most of the ones I really hate. My worst memory is from Funky.

    Specifically, that strip where he and Wally find out that Khan’s store is going under. Just because apparently neither of them ever gave a damn about Khan, didn’t lift a finger to help him and the entire thing was just to give Khan’s character the middle finger.

    I suppose we could give both of them a Top 10 Worst Strips list.

  18. Professor Fate

    Whining self pity over NOTHING raised to the level of Opera. Easily one of the most hateful strips I’ve seen from the Author.

  19. This cover needs more vipers.

  20. @Professor Fate: That’s the problem I have with him. He stood there like a wooden Jesus in a country graveyard when Lisa was actually dying, had a brief fling with being a human being when spreading her ashes and is now engaged in a decades-long binge of crying over nothing at all.

  21. A HREF

    Thanks TFH for the reference.

    I bet Batuik is one of those guyys who always says “the book wsa better” after watching a movie. Even those movies not based on books.

  22. I wonder if TomBat knows (or even cares) that the Rawhide Kid got relaunched once as a horribly offensive stereotypical gay man?

    http://www.cracked.com/article_18502_the-5-most-unintentionally-offensive-comic-book-characters.html