Again, Holly is presented as a person with the keen observational powers of cement. “Starbuck Jones #115” she said, thumbing through comics, suddenly realizing that the words she had just spoken had a kind of meaning to her! Amazing.
Back when this whole “collecting comics” arc started, I made the assumption that Tom Batiuk was going to present something that would be meaningful and enjoyable to the folks in his audience who liked collecting comics. But time after time, I have to wonder if he’s insulting them instead. We were told this issue was the rarest of the rare, but twice now it’s been easily found among loose boxes of “ordinary” comics. This one doesn’t even look like it’s in a plastic bag or anything. So, much as I went on at some length about how Les’ Hollywood experiences were nothing at all like how the real world works, comic book fans must have the urge to do the same right about now.
It’s hard to think of anything in this strip where someone would say, “Wow, that’s so true!”
Other than, “The Funky Winkerbean cast is composed of unpleasant morons,” that is.
By the way, I think I’ve solved the Starbuck Jones #1 paradox. When it was originally published it was nothing special, and teen Funky bought it. Then fifty years later, it became really valuable in time for…for whatever happened to save Comic Head John or Montoni’s or whatever. I don’t know the story.
But then, a couple of years after that happened, an entire medical supply warehouse full of unopened boxes of Starbuck Jones #1 was found in Louisville, Kentucky, and the issue became pretty much worthless. (They found the boxes right next to the 245-Trioxin canisters.)
I think I put more thought into that than some people I could name.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Where’s Damien Sandow when you need him (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwgFCcYPk3A)?
So how will she manage to screw this up? An evil interloper perhaps? Or maybe just her monumental stupidity again? I can (yawn) hardly wait.
TB may love comic books but he definitely doesn’t like comic book collecting, at least not the way these kids today go about it. Reading them purely as escapist fare is fine but only if you did it as a kid. You are, however, permitted to fondly reflect upon it many years later. You may sell a very valuable comic book for profit but only if you bought it as a child with pure intentions and never really cared for it that much. You may run a comic book store but only a low-budget local neighborhood one near a pizza joint. But investing in them, sealing them in Mylar bags, engaging in auctions and or getting way too serious about them? That’s the wrong way to go about it, as you can’t really ENJOY them like that.
This part of this arc is a good example. We already know Holly will somehow fail to obtain #115 at the SDCC. Then she’ll go home and eventually get it from some local jagoff. Thus it is proven that although those gigantic intimidating comic cons might be fun, they’re largely useless and all about the money, not the comic books themselves unlike her friendly local comic book pals who really CARE. And it’s OK for Holly to obsess over completing the collection because she’s not a hardcore collector, she’s doing for Cory. It fits perfectly into his weird mindset.
So, that’s two copies of this ultra-rare super-special comic book that have turned up (just lying around in the bins no less). I know Comic-Con is the largest gathering of its kind in the United States, but I have a hard time believing that so many vendors would have such a precious issue just lying around.
So, like, this Starbuck Jones. I mean he trips from Starbucks to Starbucks really, really wanting coffee, is that it? His super power is a perpetual coffee jag? By the way, Starbucks #115 is in Seattle.
Does this mean we’re almost done?
Re: SJ #1, someone (sorry, can’t remember who or when) mentioned the possibility of Cory having used the stolen cancer fun run funds to buy himself #1 which would be just WONDERFUL if it ever was revealed to have happened. But quite unlikely, unfortunately, because the Corporal is a “good guy” now. I’m still a little surprised that BatDolt passed on doing a #1 arc here, it seemed like such a natural direction, what with the opportunity to do a week of “Funky the big fat idiot sold #1 because he sucks at life” gags and all. But like most non-Lisa-related FW history, it’s long long forgotten as soon as something stupid enough comes along to replace it.
Slager: This week, a week of disappointment over this week, a “what will I do now?” week, a “OMG #115!” week, a week of gloating and a week of Cory’s reaction to seeing the finished collection. That’s five not counting this week and that’s assuming (har) that he doesn’t drag it out too much. Between this, the screenplay and band camp the summer is pretty much booked.
That is, of course, if all those copies aren’t the misprint that we were told about earlier.
Wow, Mr, Bat-ick, watching someone go shopping sure makes for compelling storytelling!
Since we know Holly does not obtain #115, it seems there are two possible conclusions to this:
One, as Paul Jones pointed out above, is that this is one of the misprinted issues that contains ALF meets the Harlem Globetrotters (or whatever the misprint was) instead of the real #115 story.
The other possibility, of course, is that Chester Hagglemore shows up just as Holly is about to purchase the comic and makes the seller and offer he can’t refuse… a signed Amazing Mister Sponge splash page.
As for Starbuck Jones #1, my theory is that TB briefly transported Westview back to the height of the 1990’s comic book speculation bubble just so Funky could sell #1 for dozens of dollars. We know Westview’s place in time is fluid, so the theory is not in conflict with Batiukverse canon.
A week of strips where we watched the grass grow at the Westview Park would be more entertaining. Of course, being TomBat, he’d DESCRIBE the grass growing rather than SHOW us the grass growing.
@billytheskink: ALF meets the Harlem Globetrotters sounds awesome. I always loved when Scooby Doo met the Harlem Globetrotters.
You know how bad this plotline is? It’s so bad that I’m willing to bet that most of you forgot the reason why Holly is trying to get all these issues in the first place? I sure have. It literally took me a few minutes to remember that Corey was the reason for this. Corey that is in the military risking his life. Corey who is having an experience being in the military that you could write books about.
But no, we are Funky Winkerbean readers! We will watch this fat, middle age woman frantically shop for comics AND LIKE IT!!!!!!
“Corey who is having an experience being in the military that you could write books about.”
And who will return with drastically changed values, not one of which will have anything to do with comic books………………………….
Yeah, Cory will say, “Thanks mom, but I don’t like comics anymore.”
Holly will then burn them all, and cry in the rain as she scatters the ashes in the park.
For reference:
@beckoningchasm: That would be too cruel even for Batiuk…..
She’s going to collect them all and then Cory will be killed by a sniper or IED. It’s simply been too long since someone died in this strip.
Spoilers
Billy, she does get the comic in the end. By John buying it and giving it to her.
@bigd1992, I wouldn’t go that far – I think Cory will end up either getting blinded or lose his arms (in which case, she probably ends up turning the pages for him)
Such a rare issue as Starbuck Jones #15 would not be in a counter top rack with other issues where anybody could take it. It would be under glass or more likely on display on the back wall way up high where nobody could get to it., Was there an Action Comics #1 in that rack too?
@Don, he loses his arms and learns to use his left foot – similar to “MyLeft Foot” starring Daniel Day Lewis – except being a Winkerbean he uses his left foot to become an alcoholic. Amputation, wounded veteran, alcoholism….TomBat will get that Pulitzer yet!