Sunday’s strip was not available for preview, so you get more of my ramblings. Lucky you! I’ll try to keep it to a reasonable length…which for me is, what, eighty paragraphs or so? Ha ha ha.
One of the problems I’ve had with this year’s stories is that a number of them (all the comic book ones, the “shot down helicopter” one) depend on sympathy for Cory Winkerbean. And I find that very difficult to muster. Admittedly, I’m not sympathetic to any of the characters, but at least the rest of them aren’t snotty, jerkwad criminals.
In that regard, I’m thinking of Cory’s theft of the Lisa’s Legacy Fund. Aside from a limply stern threat from Funky, Cory’s never been punished for this and so far as we know, never had to return the money. And yet, the instant he joins the army, readers are supposed to do a 180 and suddenly regard him as the best and brightest that Westview can offer (whose last name isn’t Moore, that is).
While I greatly admire those who choose to serve our country, in Cory’s case it seemed less that he was doing so for noble reasons and more for the sake of a “screw you” to Funky. In other words, nothing seemed to have changed with Cory other than his status from civilian to soldier. Has he changed? We’ve seen no evidence that he has, other than he seems a bit more polite on the phone.
And it would have been easy to show that military service has changed him for the better. All it would take is one Sunday strip, during the holiday season when Cory was back in Westview.
Panel one-the logo, with a smirking Cory head.
In the strip, Les goes out to the mailbox. Inside is a single envelope, addressed “For: the Lisa’s Legacy Fund.” Les opens the envelope, and there’s money inside, along with an unsigned note: “Plus interest!”
Les looks at the money and gasps. “Why, there must be almost eleven dollars here!”*
Cut to: Cory, dressed in his uniform and hiding behind a nearby tree, watching all of this happen and smirking to beat the band.
See how easy that was? Cory goes from being criminal-in-training to someone mature enough to try and redeem his past misdeeds. Win-win, right? (Granted, it would probably mean the loss of a comic book tribute Sunday strip. Win-win-win, I say.) And that honestly didn’t take more than a few minutes of thought to come up with that.
Which may be part of the problem. One of the things I’ve noted in this strip is that Tom Batiuk seems to feel that simply presenting something is the same as developing something–that the hard work is done when you say, “The producers want to change Les’ script” and that having to explain further is just a waste of time and effort. It’s certainly one reason why these characters remain so unengaging, and why their various quests rarely rise above “pretty boring.” Interesting stories require effort, and I guess with forty-odd years of this under his belt, Tom Batiuk feels that he’s above all that. It just seems sad to me–with a little more effort this strip could be much better than it is. Is it not worth that effort?
*I refuse to believe that the Lisa’s Legacy Run in Westview has ever raised more than eleven dollars.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Two things:
1. Was Cory every punished for ANTYHING he did? He stole the Lisa’s Legacy fund money, vandalized school property, plagiarized an English paper, cheated on a exam, and didn’t get so much as ten lashes with a wet noodle. And after a 15-month absence, he returns just to serve up a few punch lines and set up some jokes. No change.
2. Why did Cory even join the army in the first place? The boy was a lazy slacker whose main goal in life seemed to be to goof off as much as possible. He didn’t explain it to Funky, and he didn’t explain it to the reader. If I were Funky, the first thing I’d ask is “Why?’ BUT NOOOOO!
And I thought Bats could NEVER make Holly look even more stupid. Amazing, really.
Jeez Louise, what’s going on with John’s face in the fourth panel. It looks like he’s having an allergic reaction.
Oh yeah Holly, that’s hilarious that’s she waiting in the middle of an empty convention center waiting for someone to give her the comic she needs. Don’t worry Holly the TB’s Deus ex machina special will bail you out as it always does.
The real reason he joined the army? Probably so that he could just be written out of the strip. Just like when characters move away or they fail at some goal like Khan and that woman who used to stalk Les before becoming a teacher and… why on Earth was she ever reintroduced actually?
And it’s actually amazing how many works could avoid some problems with just one or two changes. For example, Pokemon. Now I’m not going to get into the debate and I’m going to ignore anyone who does, but really all the problems about violence and animals could have been solved with two sentences:
“Pokemon are just as intelligent as humans, but with very different cultures.”
And:
“Pokemon want to be the best, so if you want them to join you then you have to prove you’re a strong trainer in a Pokemon battle first”.
There you go, some people might still be disturbed but it establishes that these creatures are intelligent enough to make their own decisions and that they want humans to prove that they’re good enough to help the Pokemon improve.
For Funky specifically, well I’ve mentioned a few before but probably the one I think of the most is how we could believe that Wally can make enough to support himself and Jessica just by having him mention that an army friend of his is willing to give him a recommendation for a job at an arms manufacturer testing different weapons and assessing the likely needs of soldiers.
Wow, just when I think Holly can’t look any more pathetic. Also, John talking with his mouth full has killed my appetite for at least the next several days.
Sigh. Just when you think Holly’s reached peak imbecility, she outdoes herself yet again. And have you noticed that DSHJ and Harry always steer Holly in the correct direction, but then they always bail and leave her to her own witless devices? If either one of them had stuck with her at SDCC instead of ditching her to frolic around like a couple of overgrown morons she’d have the stupid book already. What a bunch of idiots. And poor poor Funky, wait until the bill for this useless little excursion comes due, he might even have to resort to going back in time again and reminding himself to buy…oh, never mind.
1. Is Holly standing around waiting for next year’s Comic-Con to begin?
2. Is that Wally and Rachel in Panel 3 celebrating their honeymoon at Comic-Con and/or a pizzeria?
3. How are John and Harry going to explain the smell of foreign pizza on their breath when they return to Funky?
Well, on to Tony Isabella’s basement sale. Also, on to Cory being redeemed because people are shooting at him. The character he most reminds me of is Ed Crankshaft: an unrepentant boor who never has to answer for anything because Nazis shot at him.
It says a lot about this strip when the characters we’re supposed to dislike the most (Cory, Evil Frankie) are the only sympathetic (to me, at least) characters. In real life or a less weird comic strip, anybody with their traits would be a repellent sociopath, but compared to the dreary, supercilious, passive-aggressive lumps that populate FW, they come across as rebellious rogues who dare to enjoy life, which is probably not what Batiuk intended.
Hanging around long after the convention has packed up and left, is Holly’s version of “trying so hard.” All she had to do to get the other books was just show up, so now she is waiting for one to fall from the sky. When it doesn’t, she can tell everyone how hard she “tried” to get one in San Diego.
Now if they return to a Westview that’s been mysteriously depopulated, that could be interesting
Isn’t the reason that Cory didn’t have to return the Lisa’s Legacy fund, that Funky announced that Montoni’s would cover the amount (with the money Cory took and then, presumably, gave to Funky)?
As for “cheating on a test,” he didn’t actually cheat as Les took away his water bottle (and then gave it back, without the label).
Back to the Search for Starbuck Jones; if the issue is that easy to get, why not just keep an eye on eBay? (I would add “or post a request on, say, Facebook,” but maybe she thinks that Cory might discover it and it would ruin the surprise.)
Speaking of which, now watch the “big twist” be that Holly gets a surprise in the mail; it’s Starbuck Jones #115…sent from Cory in Afghanistan! (“One of the other soldiers’ sons was at Comic-Con and sent me a picture of someone looking for this”)
Holy Crap, TB. Your gang was at Comic-con at San Diego and yeah, surprisingly, you show them eating pizza…of all things. TB, you are in Southern California. Try the fish tacos from Rubio’s or a REAL carne asada burrito…in fact, try any Mexican food. Try any sea food. Heck try the apple fries from Legoland. On second thought, just draw a pizza slice. It’s the only food they eat in Westview anyway.
Bill beat me to it. What outraged me, more than John’s revoltingly overstuffed cheeks, was that they were eating plain pepperoni pizza, in San Diego, where there is so much awesome food. I know that TB was going for “endearingly eccentric” with these characters, but he always squarely hits “pathetic loser.”
Ditto for Holly. My recent illustration of her as an element of a box of rocks was an insult to rocks.
And boxes.
Also, Beckoning Chasm: great stuff. Ramble on, brother!
This is the break Funky has been waiting for: real mental illness.
Sgtsaunders: So does this mean that Batiuk will be focusing on early altimeters disease with Holly? Or maybe she could have a brain tumor which would fill his cancer quota while being different.