Les rather magnanimously inquires about Cory’s well-being. Funky replies “…I always used to worry about where he was headed.” He’s referring, of course, to Cory’s heyday of petty larceny, school vandalism, cheating, and sassing his teachers. You know: the days when Cory was the coolest, most likeable character in the strip. Anymore–I mean, nowadays, with Cory tiptoeing through the Bouncing Bettys in war-torn Iraquistan, I guess Funky no longer needs to worry about his “totally focused” stepson.
20 thoughts on “I, Me, Landmine”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
Keen observation there, Dickface. Lord knows your pathetic disinterested attempts at “teaching” him didn’t do him a whole lot of good. Still though, Les pretending to be interested in any non-Lisa person is in and of itself semi-noteworthy.
Cory, huh? If I know my FW, this is either a set-up for Corporal Cory’s Comic Book Collection Completion arc or it’s nothing at all. The Funkyverse is either all-in or all-out, things like foreshadowing and subtlety are not in the equation. Then again, when it comes to this strip who the hell really knows?
“And working with land mines will keep Corey focused because if he isn’t, your son will die. From being blown up. By the land mines. Which will kill your son.”
Cripes, even when Les is trying not to be king of the jerks the best he can manage is prince of the jerks
Holy shit, those strips with Cory really were enjoyable. Most amazing Funky Winkerbean I ever read
“Nah, he spends every waking hour scheming how to get into Roxie’s pants.”
What is it with Batiuk and landmines? Wally worked with them, and now Cory. I’m guessing that Batiuk figures nothing provides cheap drama and commentary on the futility of war like landmines. Also, he probably just thought of what the absolute worst job in the army is, and went with that. Because of course nothing good ever happens in this strip.
Wait… no hairy-faced smirk from Les in Panel 2? The dialogue still reads like he’s trying to be a funny, condescending dick.
“I used to worry about where he was headed…but now he’s right on track for an early grave, just where he should be!”
Oh, Funky, give it up! *You* know and *we* know full well that you barely gave half a crap about your stepson.
Jeez, Least. Way to kill a mood. You dick.
LES: “How’s that reminder that you shoot blanks and that I’m a failed English teacher?”
FUNKY: “About to die.”
LES AND FUNKY: “Excellent.”
Can you imagine a real human saying something as callous to another person?
“How’s Cory? Why don’t you ask him yourself. That was him sleeping on the park bench a few panels ago”
So they started in pitch dark, strode through daybreak, and now seem to still be running at midday. Apparently BatHack thinks Less and Flunky are Kenyans.
Didn’t he use that “focused on land mines” “joke” at least once before?
Yeah, Corey’s work with land mines must be dangerous and personality changing. BE NICE IF WE COULD SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God, Batiuk!! Show don’t tell!!!
Is tomorrow the day an irked Funky finally snaps and tells Les he never should have forced Cory to go on a date with Summer?
Les will counter with something smarmy about the water bottle crib notes and Funky follows that up by saying that he should have just let Cory keep the Lisa’s Beatification Run money…
These are the kinds of things that happen when real people get pushed around.
You have to love Les being as tackful as a brick to the face for the sake of a joke about landmines. Gad this strip.
Epicus Doomus wrote: “If I know my FW, this is either a set-up for Corporal Cory’s Comic Book Collection Completion arc or it’s nothing at all.”
Mostly likely nothing at all. At most Cory comes home, and everyone (including l’auteur glorieux) promptly forgets he even exists. Let’s face it, the dramatic thing would be to kill him off, making Holly great quest all in vain, but Batiuk doesn’t have the stones to do that. Heck, he’s admitted that he regrets killing off Lisa, and he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger (pun partially intended) when Funky had his auto accident. So, all we’ll get is more boring near-nothingness.
Well, the SJ Comic Collection Caper has to end with Holly giving Cory the collection, or so one would assume (unless he dies or something). I likewise assume that arc would be perfect holiday season fodder. I’d expected Cory to act all unimpressed and nonchalant about it, then Holly will “just happen” to overhear Cory telling someone all about how “cool” his mom is thus making the “whole thing worth it”. It’s anticlimactic, boring and obnoxious, so it’ll fit right into the strip no problem.
billytheskink: I nearly forgot all about Cory’s pity date with Summer. I’ve been expecting that to be revisited somewhere down the line, possibly when Cory returns home as a “fine young man”.
Yes, good point on having to wrap up the Great Quest for Comix. Of course, it’ll probably take two or three weeks (and about a million smirks) for Holly to give them Cory. Naturally, she’ll have to go into great detail about how she acquired each one(and we’ll have to suffer through the retelling of that whole boring arc). And it’ll all end with Batiuk angry that the hidebound literalists on the Pulitzer committee didn’t give him another nomination for his great writing.
Tomorrow, Les Moore will not walk sheepishly into Montoni’s. He will not, filled with remorse for joking about Cory’s hazardous military service, apologize to Funky. He will not say, “I messed up.”
Because Les Moore is an arsehole.
oddnoc: Les Moore apologize? Not in this lifetime. If anything, Funky will have to apologize to HIM. Note that he didn’t even apologize over forgetting his anniversary, he just threw gifts at his wife until HE became the hero. No, in Les’ mind he just gave Funky a precious gift: a wry witty wisecrack straight from the source.