Displaying a surprising amount of awareness of sports movie tropes, in today’s strip TB casts the generally unpleasant Linda in the “classic” Wet Blanket Girlfriend role.
She plays the role well too, waiting through Bull’s truly unrealistic expectations (national attention, ESPN) to play her passive-aggressive “rein in the chariot” line only after he spouts something entirely realistic. New helmets and uniforms arrive with new coaches at all but the most tradition-rich college football programs. Really though, Bull’s found an escape pod out of Westview, don’t screw this up for him Linda.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Bull’s new career will be short-lived when the new owners of his house dig up Jinx in the basement.
‘Wet blanket”…I’ll say. Linda is my most hated minor character, always such a miserable buzzkill. Bull is a fifty-something year old lifelong failure, a total moron with a long, long track record of idiocy. Thus this offer is pretty much the highlight of his entire life. So naturally, Linda has to pop his balloon in her usual sarcastic wry way. What a you-know-what.
TB loves to throw his characters into the stratosphere just so he can watch them crash and burn. Funky’s pizza empire and Cindy’s network news career for example. So we can expect a flame out for Bull that is every bit as unrealistic as his assent.
The exception is of course Les who bailed out on his own terms with a parachute made of the finest silk hand woven fairies. When he landed it was into a pile of eiderdown from ducks that joyfully torn out their own feathers for him. Only to complain about the champaign he drank on the way down being a touch to warm.
The A.D. never actually said “head coach”. Watch Bull quit and move to Ironton only to find out he’s a part time assistant special teams coach.
As I said yesterday, my (likely wrong) guess is that this will play out like the Hollywood arc did, with Bull becoming disillusioned and saddened by how “phony” college football is. He will sulk back to WHS just in time for next year’s batch of horrible football gags and the whole boring episode will never be mentioned again.
But you never know with FW. Bull could become a magical fat unicorn and sail away to Bermuda on a raft made of donuts for all I know, trying to predict what TB will do next is a fool’s mission. The only certainty is that it’ll definitely be moronic to an almost unimaginable degree, like it is each and every day.
As the new Head Coach at DUI, Bull will first try to recruit Owen, the football hero, to his team.
In Bull’s first failure as Head Coach at DUI, the Alabama Crimson Tide will sign the fill-in Scapegoat mascot instead. By his own choice, Owen will receive a red Chullo in lieu of a college scholarship. What would a loser do with an education?
The NCAA will investigate. DUI will be placed on a three year probation, lose football scholarships, and will be Bowl ineligible since SEC Conference schools are immune to sanctions.
Somebody had to take the fall. In the Funkyverse, it is Bull.
“I’ll let you know as soon as I’m done having my ironic heart attack.”
Oh, you don’t need to be especially smart to foresee what her whining will be about. They can’t leave because they have roots in that town and people depend on them and ambition is evil and all the other manipulative crap vapid, self-satisfied moron chauvinist tube-steak Funky spouted in order to keep a WOMAN from dictating to him.
Yep, Bull’s resume has nothing about pizza or comic books on it, so odds are good he’s going to get in serious trouble.
@Gyre: Oh, yeah. He’s going to learn the hard way that the outside world is a terrible place filled with strange foods, strange customs and uncaring people who only value you for what you can do, not for how sincere you are. How ODD it is that the adult world holds such terrors for Batomic Comic Obsessive.
I guess inside Batty’s pointy little bald head, a random guy shows up from DWI College and says, “You’re our new coach. See you Monday at nine.” You don’t visit the facility, meet the people you’d work with, talk over terms and salary, sign a contract, yadda yadda.
At least Batboy didn’t SHOW us any of this, just as he didn’t show The Big Game he had hyped out the wazoo for two weeks. And if you recall, we saw almost none of the Les/Cayla wedding, after that was hyped to death — AND involved the main character of the strip.
Hopefully, if and when Bullsquat makes it to DWI College and hates it, he can get the kill fee.
The North Texas AD picks up the phone and gives the DUI AD a ring.
“Yeah, Jeff or whatever your name is? This is Rick. Heard what you did with that middling high school coach in Ohio. I just have two words of warning before you finalize that contract: Todd Dodge.”