So, the dreaded Les at last makes his appearance just to rub Bull’s disappointments into his face. This is why this comic strip is nowhere near reality, because in reality, Les would have been murdered long ago…by the entire town. When the cops came, it would be like that scene in Spartacus. “I am Les Moore’s murderer.” “I am Les Moore’s murderer.” “I am Les Moore’s murderer.”
There should be an eighth panel in today’s strip:
It would have shown panel six’s wagging finger snapped off and jammed down Les’ throat. Bull would stand behind, arms folded. “Yeah, Les,” he’d say, smirking. “You know exactly how I feel. You were given massive amounts of money, took two years to do your job, were flown out first class to Hollywood, were wined and dined and fawned over. You whined and moaned the entire time until you managed to kill the production, and you got to keep the money, all because they wanted to make your sacrosanct story into one that people might actually be interested in seeing. I, however, did everything I was supposed to do, and got screwed over by Fate. So, yeah, you sure know exactly how I feel. Now you know how Frodo feels.”
It just seems pointless to remind Tom Batiuk, Author, that Les gleefully killed the production of “Lisa’s Story.” The job of Hollywood Screenwriter was his for the taking and he threw it away because it made him a little fish in a big pond, where he just wasn’t special anymore.
Mr. Batiuk, when you yourself can’t even remember the details of your own work, I feel absolutely no guilt in mocking it.
There’s just something evil about Les in today’s offering. Look at him happy and smirking in panels three and seven (I’m counting the masthead), looking so pleased with himself that he can dig into his old nemesis’ wounds and jerk a little pain out. The fact that he still lives makes this strip far more of a fantasy than Starbuck Jones could ever aspire to achieve.
Of all the characters in this strip, few inspire as much sheer hatred in me as Les Moore. There’s one other who comes close, and you’ll never guess what my Guest Host Superpowers are revealing to me even as we speak!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Heh. I actually found the first two panels amusing.
And yeah, that darn Les! Why does he even exist as an “unforgotten” main character anymore?! Words cannot describe how much I miss the then-lovable goofy Afro-haired guy he used to be.
Uh yeah, sorry there Dickface, but your Hollywood deal didn’t “fall through”. You whined, then slept, then quit. But we get the point here: no one feels pain like Les Moore does because he’s just that sensitive. Plus he’s so much more intelligent than everyone else is too, thus he understands pain more than some pathetic jock loser does. Three words..f*ck you, Les.
Batom couldn’t even give Bull a one-week victory lap after a rare dance with success and happiness. Nope, as soon as the final whistle blew, it’s bam, down goes Bushka. Batom is a cruel, cruel master.
It takes a special kind of douchebag to walk in under the presumption of sympathizing with someone else, and immediately turn the conversation to yourself.
Ah, good to see St. Les the Righteous Smirker regale us with his unnecessary presence.
St. Les, My Father, John Darling (who was murdered, don’cha know!), and Ed Crankshaft… Batiuk sure knows how to create nothing but detestable lead characters.
Gee, if only Les had a dead wife he could compare Bull’s losing his job to.
@TheDiva: Yeah, isn’t that narcissism?
@Nathan Obral: Right, only MFJD really wasn’t a “detestable” guy in the actual strip–and look what happened to *him*!
You’ve got to think the original of this strip said “One word…Lisa”. I mean seriously, how dare anyone else in Westview act like they know what pain is?
Les looks like he’s flippin’ himself off. I guess even Les hates Les.
“It’s not you, Bull, it’s me. Me, me, me. Always me. ME!”
Last Panel should be Bull giving Les his own version of the “Kill Fee”
Of course, the problem is that Batiuk doesn’t realize what a contemptible jackhole Les is or that “I was a walking poison pill who sabotaged a movie because I’m too stupid to notice I was being given a free ride in a chauffeured limo and too arrogant and in love with myself to admit that they couldn’t possibly make the abysmally depressing art film I wanted” isn’t the same is “I was Charlie Brown to DUI’s Lucy” aren’t the same thing because both things have “Our dreams were taken away by Evil Outsiders who prove the Outside World is Evil and Scary and Wrong.”
“I know how much you suffered! Admit it! Hollywood is evillllll. Evilllll. And my wife is dead don’t you know.”
“What? Did something happen to Cayla? Is that why you came here without bothering to knock?”
“I mean my real wife is dead.”
“Get out of my office.”
When Les is finally murdered it will be a tribute to, “The Murder on the Orient Express”. Only without the twists, red herrings, ambience, … FINE, it won’t anything like, “The Murder on the Orient Express”, except everyone in town stabs Les.
“Okay, Bull, your ten seconds of comic strip face time are over, time for Les to shine!”
Jeebus, what an orifice!
At least Bull still has his conference title…at least until somebody from the league office shows up and points out, “Er, remember that game you won with the mascot? The mascot never took the mandatory physical required for playing football, so he was ineligible, and you forfeit that game, which would have prevented the school from qualifying for the championship game, so give back the trophy,” and when Les consoles him with, “Well, you still won on the field,” the response is, “Anyone can ‘win on the field’ if you cheat.”
On a much lighter note: Summer & Keisha are off to yet another stellar KSU Women’s Basketball season. 1-3.
Didn’t see DUI on the schedule this year.
As far as we know, Slumber and Kareeshia are still riding the pine, assuming they’re still even attending K*nt State. What happened to the “we’re done with college, so we’re coming home now” arc??
Next week: Some guys from The Government drop by to visit Bull. Seems the President of the United States just up and quit for a job with a better country. They want Bull.
@Paul Jones: Batiuk can’t be THAT dense. It’s obvious that he knows how unlikable Les is, and plays dumb about it to the press and his friends in the comic industry. Calling it “groundbreaking” and “reality based” blah blah blah.
Hell, if I were Batiuk, I’d be thrilled that I can serve up nothing but utter garbage day in and day out, and still have a thriving hatedom that clearly eclipses the comic’s intended fanbase. So he feels like he has carte blanche to make Les even Moore and Moore of a despicable lead character.
Does that make it right? Absolutely not. But I’d be surprised if that is not his mentality while working in a medium he clearly doesn’t care to be in.
You know. This whole idiotic plotline is exactly the reason why Funky Winkerbean is a terrible comic strip. Rather than have one of our characters make a plot turining life transition, the strip strikes that down in order to continue it’s pathetic status quo. How was any of this interesting? A good writer like Gary Trudeau would have gone through with Bull becoming a college coach and depict the struggles he has adjusting. But no, much like Cory in Afghanistan, Khan in Afghanistan, The teenage girls in college. None of that far more interesting plotlines are ever shown!
I seriously wish Vanity Fair would do an article on this site. I’m sure we could better inform the public on Batiuk’s “genius”.
A competent writer like Garry Trudeau would do a modicum of research and not come up with a stupid name like “Diversity University-Ironton.” This storyline was SO mailed in that I could see the postmark stamp on top of it.
If anyone steps forward to do an article about SoSF, Nikki Finke is my choice.
The DUI name thing remains something that looks like it was supposed to be a running gag, or have a payoff somewhere down the line. Given that the storyline has now been beaten deader than a doornail, we’ll go ahead and file that in the (rather densely packed) NPNP (“No Point, No Pay-off “) folder.