Married to the Slob

I was married to him and he never saw me blush.”

“[T]he most responsible one in our class”? Sure, back in high school Les demonstrated enough responsibility to man a machine gun and sell milk. As an adult? He’s been “responsible” for quietly standing by while Susan threw herself under the bus, annoying his fellow Kilimanjaro climbers, and of course torpedoing the movie that was based upon his book.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Married to the Slob

  1. Epicus Doomus

    This one is kind of interesting in a really annoying way. First, we see Bantom totally ignoring entire decades of the strip’s history (how did Cindy find the time to host all those other reunions back when she was a major network news personality? It’s like it never happened). Then he references Act I (Les was in fact the machine-gun wielding hall monitor and he did help out that pitiful pregnant chick that time), then Act II (Funky’s erratic drunken Act II shenanigans). So he spans the strip’s entire history while simultaneously ignoring it!

    That’s why I keep reading, it’s the mind-bending paradoxes like that one. Because Lord knows it’s not the painfully plodding dialog or the brain-numbing repetition or that deadpan look on DickFace’s mug, definitely not. No, it’s the way TomBat accidentally (at least I think it’s accidentally) falls ass-backwards into these wild logic-defying conundrums all the time. You have to remember the histories of two characters while ignoring a third’s. I mean, who DOES that?

  2. Funky’s expression in panel two is a masterwork. Never has a character looked so utterly befuddled. It’s masthead-quality, I tells ya!


  3. Nathan Obral

    The amazing thing is, Les actually IS the most responsible member of the Westview High School Class of 1988. Just think about how incompetent everyone else in that class is.

    And if Cindy wasn’t going to assign this responsibility to Funky because he is her ex-husband, then why would she confide in him ANYTHING? But of course that question has been already asked 5,000 times this week…

  4. Epicus Doomus

    BC: Awesome, that panel just works on so many levels.

  5. SpacemanSpiff85

    Yeah, because the guy running what is apparently half of the businesses in Westview couldn’t possibly be responsible enough to click “send” on a Facebook group message.
    I do find it hilarious that immediately after being told he was the most responsible in their class, Les is trying to pass the job off on the guy who happens to be standing right next to him. Cindy’s comment seems like the kind of ego-stroking he lives for.

  6. billytheskink

    TB misspelled “reprehensible”.

  7. Rusty

    Cindy’s cleavage starts an inch below her throat. It’s unnerving.

  8. John

    Cindy: “I’m asking you to take over as Chairman of the Coming Reunion because I’m basically a petty, cruel person who cannot -wait- to see what torments you’ll devise in your never-ending quest to justify your completely unjustified sense of being wise, Les.”

    Les: “But what about Funky? I seem to vaguely, kind of, sort of recall that for some weird reason you both might find such a suggestion insulting, but it can’t be THAT important.”

    Cindy: “….Les, Funky currently looks older, fatter, and more ill than his own father, who only EXISTS to look old, fat, and ill.”

    Funky: “HEY!!!”

    Les: “Okay, point.”

    Cindy: “…I predict that before 2015 is through, we’ll find him face down on a half-finished breakfast pizza.”

  9. John

    “Yeah, because the guy running what is apparently half of the businesses in Westview couldn’t possibly be responsible enough to click “send” on a Facebook group message.”

    …don’t forget, he’s also Chairman of the Local Board of Commerce -and- the most faithful participant in the local Freelance Shame Squad!

  10. Mason Jarr

    Don’t say it! Don’t say it! Nope it wasn’t funny the first time, and it’s not funny when repeated.

  11. In honor of Earth Day, Tom Batiuk is recycling hid punchlines this week.

  12. DOlz

    @TheDiva, I just wish he’d leave them hidden! I know it was a typo, but sometimes you have to smash the lob.

  13. This is a weird way of atoning for being a mean girl: handing over the Facespace duties to one of her victims while ignoring one half of the economic engine of the town. Heh. She might as well have given it to Funky because it’s going to be held at Montoni’s anyway……

  14. bayoustu

    Family photo! In panel 3 we see an old man, his middle-aged son, and 20 year old granddaughter…

  15. Nothing moves a story along like spending more than half a week on a completely non-related tangent that exists for the sole purpose of having bad-sitcom banter between characters.

  16. captaincab

    This has got to be the youngest yet that Bathack has made Cindy look in the last few months since she started dating Mason and one of the most drastic appearance changes next to Cayla’s (although that one is way more insulting for obvious reasons), what is up with this? Why is he obsessed with making her look like pre-jump Holly? This woman is supposed to be at least 50 years old and in today’s strip she looks like she is in her 20s.

    And just look at that fat, ugly, old moron in panel two. That is THE face of this comic strip, ladies and gentlemen and it’s a face you just WANT to slap. It’s the face of boredom, lack of inertia, confusion, discombobulation, blandness and oldness all wrapped into one, neat, tidy package. Seriously, does Batiuk even realize he’s MARKETING A COMIC STRIP and that his characters can age naturally without making it look as though other characters such as Cindy are time travellers? Man, I need to grab my volume 2 of the Bloom County complete collection which I’m currently readingh through and while I’m at it, I think I’ll also read a few Calvin and Hobbes Sunday strips because my eyes hurt.

  17. bigd1992

    Les is exceedingly punchable in panel 3.

  18. John

    Cindy frowned, looking at herself in the mirror. Something was missing. Ever since she’d decided to uproot her life and return to Westview for reasons that never -quite- seemed to gel within her head, it felt like something was missing.

    Brow furrowing, she tugged absently on her ear. It wasn’t just her appearance.

    She’d had a career. She knew she had. But lately, she had trouble remembering any details about it. Her entire adult life, which once had seemed so vivid, rewarding, and exciting now suddenly seemed like a drab series of claustrophobic, sepia-toned boxes, missing the corners.

    It was odd. She’d largely ignored Les in high school. She’d kept herself from interacting with Funky in any meaningful way for DECADES.

    And yet now, all she wanted to do was hang out at Montoni’s. All she could think about was what a Wise, Pure, Distinguished man Les was. His every thought an apple of gold. His every expression a masterpiece of art.

    She wouldn’t have spit on him when he was a kid. Why was he suddenly so impressive?

    …years ago, she’d seen a movie where the world wasn’t real. Not the Matrix. The other one, the one with the creepy albino men in black overcoats. The one who snuck up on you when you slept and rewrote your entire life. And you didn’t even realize it, because they were altering your MIND, your MEMORIES. It had creeped her out, even though it had had a happy e…

    a happy…

    …..Les. Pizza. Funky. The Coming Reunion. Comical Books. Coffee…

    ….so many IMPORTANT THINGS to think about. Far, far more important than silly memories about….about….eh, something boring about news.

    Les. Les. Les. Pizza. High School. Funky. Les. Pi-

  19. John: “Dark City” is one of my favorite films, and yeah, it would explain a lot in Westview.

  20. John

    Beckoning: I love it. (The film and your image.)