“Rocky Strangler” would be a great name for a guy in a metal band, wouldn’t it? I think it’s way better than “Mason Jarr.” You say, “The character’s name is ‘Rocky Strangler'” and people go, “Cool!” You tell them “The characters are Mason Jarr and Rocky Rhodes” and they say, “Wow, that’s fairly stupid. What are you, three years old?”
Anyway, sorry for wasting a paragraph like that, but heck, this is Funky Winkerbean where “waste” is a middle name. What’s interesting here is the contrasting reactions in this strip, as opposed to the previous two. Holly’s reaction that her son is going to be married is a kind of firm interest, whereas the thought of comic books being sold brought her to a volcanic rage. Why it’s almost as if marriage is nothing much, but comic books are the very stuff that dreams are made of. Given the citizens in Westview, comic books are far more permanent than marriage anyway.
Another curious thing. If I remember rightly, Cory and Rocky were originally linked together because of a shared love of Starbuck Jones comics. Now, comic books aren’t anything more than a source of cash to Cory. Could that be why he collected them in the first place, because he saw them as a commodity, and not as entertainment? If that’s the case, it might explain why he went behind Holly’s back to sell them–she thought he was interested in the stories and he didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise.
Distracting from all of this is today’s artwork. It’s amazing that you can have two characters positioned the same in two panels, and have such wildly divergent artwork. Holly sheds enough tissue to resemble a skull, and Cory’s hairline sets out on a trek to unite with his eyebrows. It’s the very definition of “dashed off carelessly.”
“Dash Doff Carelessly” would be a great name for a guy in a punk band. “Dashed Doff Carelessly and The Batiukophonics.” Well, I’m off to copyright some things!
Son of Stuck Funky 
So Holly is threatening to strangle a woman who rejects the advances of a man. Jokingly, sure. But am I crazy or wasn’t Holly’s first husband somewhat abusive? I tried looking it up online, but apparently the passionate FW fanbase hates the internet as much as Batiuk.
Holly is played in panel two by Harry Dinkle in drag.
As to the story line: Well endings are earned, I guess.
years ago my son was into kayaking big time, From the time he was 8 until 14 he put “kayak” on his Christmas list which is when we bought him one.
Now he’s twenty one and he’s going to sell. Not to buy a ring, but because:
a. he hasn’t used in two -three years;
b. he needs the money;
c. its his damned kayak to do with as he pleases.
Somehow my wife and I never got volcanically angry. But is a kayak not comic books.
Really though, Holly should be mad, or at least bothered, by how Cory went about this. Was he just hoping she’d never notice the comics were gone, and she’d never wonder where he got the money from? Why? He couldn’t just tell her up front what he wanted to do? Of course the only reason for any of this is because Batiuk had to wring something passing for drama and suspense out of the whole thing.
@Spaceman
Our son took the kayak and replaced with a papier-mâché one so we would notice until my wife started with the vacuum cleaner.
Wait, not really–he said “hey mom are you and dad going to be sore if I sell that kayak–I am in school and need the money.”
One quarter inch from reality.
His head didn’t change shape like Corey’s though.
That Holly face is just brutal.
I assume Wally will vacate the Montoni’s love nest now that he is no longer just the dishwasher, and Corey and his bride can slide right in to the best walk up in Westview.
Having two different artists draw the same panel and then trying to stitch it together with a narrative is kind of an interesting concept. That’s what today’s strip is, right?
I don’t think it’s especially effective, but I can’t really fault TB. In these days of Mark Trail boat explosions and Phantom-Mary Worth crossovers, you’ve got to hustle to get attention. He’s done so many “very special episodes” that it’s become old hat, got to try something new.
So, if Rocky turns Cory down, Holly will kill her. Not because it’d hurt her son, mind you, but because he sold some comic books to pay for the engagement ring. Obviously I realize she’s being facetious in that obnoxious Batiukian way but still, comic books mean WAY too much to these f*cking people.
So what’s the big rush here with Cory and Rocky? Are they both officially finished with the Army or what? Man, Cory’s military stint was as uneventful as Wally’s wasn’t, you know? It’s like they tested some sort of new blanding weapon on him or something, he’s like white bread dipped in distilled water now. It’s like he took the character and just started over but then got really bored with it immediately.
This would only have the potential to be sweet if we knew Rocky as a character. But we don’t, because Batiuk has completely forgotten how to write young characters, and may have never known how to write young women in particular.
I think today’s strip was guest-drawn by whoever does Slylock Fox. Can you spot the 6 differences between both panels? Also, am I crazy, or is that diamond way too small for the fortune those comics were supposed to be worth? Guess Holly should have kept them all slabbed and graded instead of ripping the plastic off and reading them all first.
Given the dark shading of that last panel, I think she means it.
Great. Super. “If the cipher says no, I’ll have to kill her because comic books and snowplow mom.” This is as funny as yesterday’s strip was surprising. Also, Batiuk doesn’t GET women because they say confusing things like “comic books rot your brain” and “why did you give up a respectable job to write a comic strip no one likes?”
@href
“Holly is just Harry Dinkle in drag”.
Now that would make for a funny strip.
Batty might even get a Pulitzer for his frank and honest treatment of elderly cross dressing. I can see it now, Dinkle in a majorette outfit posing in front of the mirror with the Stars and Stripes blaring from his record player.
“Now he’s twenty one and he’s going to sell. Not to buy a ring, but because:
a. he hasn’t used in two -three years;
b. he needs the money;
c. its his damned kayak to do with as he pleases.
Somehow my wife and I never got volcanically angry. But is a kayak not comic books.”
I go thru this every year in the basement with never used junk that can’t be thrown out or donated because it was a gift from_______________
“So, if Rocky turns Cory down, Holly will kill her. Not because it’d hurt her son, mind you, but because he sold some comic books to pay for the engagement ring.”
No, this would be an opportunity to start a whole new arc where Holly and Cory repeat an earlier arc by tracking down and recovering all of the comics that had been sold.
(After Cory discovers that the ring he paid all that money for is only worth pennies on the open market because diamonds are a cheap commodity except when you are a buyer.)
LOSER CW….” I love and want to marry Rocky…but I have to sell my recently gained comic books just to afford the engagement ring.”
What’s he going to do for the wedding band… sell Funky’s car Snowball?
Ok, what would be lamer? Having your fiance give you a ring made out of paper? Or finding out you ring was financed by the comic sale of a mediocre Flash Gordon ripoff?
Rocky, don’t make the same mistake Cayla made….Run, while you still can!!!
Batiuk interview at CantonRep.com ahead of Saturday’s Akron ComicCon:
http://cantonrep.com/article/20151105/ENTERTAINMENT/151109637
There is some kind of mental math formula for gifts that you SHOULDN’T give away. Closeness of Relative x Amount of time/effort spent on gift + Sentimentality of gift – Number of similar gifts received from same relative / amount of effort/cost to keep item= Keep or Sell/Toss.
Blanket knitted by mom= Keep.
7 of 8 blankets knitted by mom= Give away.
Outdated electronics from Dad= Give Away.
Grandfather’s watch= Keep.
Grandfather’s threshing machine= Sell.
Book from your Great Aunt you hardly know= Give Away.
Heirloom dish from Great Aunt you know= Keep
Entire china case of heirloom dishes= Sell.
There are some, very few, gifts you SHOULD feel guilty selling/tossing unnecessarily. I think a comic book collection that represents you mother’s love, devotion, and anxiety while you served our country, collected over months at great effort and expense so she could feel a little closer to you while you were millions of miles away qualify for at least a moment’s pause.
I got to thinking after reading BC’s original post and the comments, specifically the part about comics books being commodities. The message here is women are commodities who can be purchased with a bauble.
Maybe Rocky will turn your kid down because he’s a no-good thief who apparently is terrible at saving any money. If he has zero savings after spending time downrange, then he’s probably strung out on heroin. Now that would make a more interesting and more realistic storyline.
The highlight of that Canton Repository article is either the fact that the Funky “March of Progress” illustration includes early 90s mullet-Funky or this lovely quote where TB practically admits he’s out of ideas.
“There’s no real burning desire to do any other issues. There is one story still hanging out there, and I call it ‘The story that can’t be told.’ I don’t think it will ever appear, but it’s not that big of a deal.”
@ Billy,
Lets guess what that ‘untellable’ story is?
I’m guessing that, like many writers, he secretly crack ships certain characters. But his favorite pairing is too extreme and terrifying for even our modern liberal mindset.
TFH sez: hat tip to ComicBookHarriet for sending me to Urban Dictionary to look up “crack ship“.
@Billy
“The story that can’t be told”
Well TB can’t tell a story, so…
What about comic books given to you with minimal effort and no expense, like what Holly went through?
Holly isn’t giving Corey months of hard work and money, she’s giving him castoffs from garage sales and cheap vacations.
I just like how the very first sentence of that article is completely ridiculous to anyone who’s actually read the comic.
Batiuk’s “guiding light” is “to make things interesting enough so that people come back for another laugh or to find out what’s going to happen”.
So that’s why he spent three weeks (so far) on the Lisa Easter egg tapes. And a week of dumb tree puns.
And so much else.
Seriously, the fundamental problem with this strip is that it’s really obvious Batiuk isn’t trying to do anything the least bit engaging to readers, or to anyone but himself. Every single plotline ties into either his Lisa obsession or his “comics I wrote in elementary school” obsession. There’s no way he can think anyone cares about that.
Wow, so Batty actually believes he creates interesting stories that bring people back to read newspapers? Just, wow.
He creates crap that brings internet readers back to see the train wreck. And we only do it cause the Internet is free. No way I’m paying anything to read a newspaper.
Breathed is creating art for free on Facebook, Yeah, Batty, Facebook. And he allows comments right below the strip. Of course, he is entertaining his readers and so there is no snark. Funny how that works.
@TFHackett:
Written by a minimum wage no-talent hack who doesn’t even bother to read the strip, but buys whatever pablum Batiuk hands him in advance without giving any effort into conducting critical thinking. As is the case with every article about Tom Batiuk that’s published in Northern Ohio.
Oh, and Tom Batiuk somehow managed to make Frank Bolle in his current state look respectable by comparison today.
@nathan
True that. And he shills another book that nobody will buy, save for the public library.
@Rusty: Batiuk will probably just donate an autographed copy to the local library, where it will be ignored until the library sells it for $0.50 at a book sale two years later.
(True story: about a decade ago, I bought about eight Bloom County paperbacks – in very good condition – for around $5 at a library book sale – it was a donated collection.)
I would love for one of those interviewers, after hearing Batiuk go on and on about Lisa and Wally’s PTSD, and all the important, relevant issues in the strip, ask him what’s going on in the strip now.
“Well, this guy just got back from Afghanistan, and he sold his comics, and he doesn’t want this mom to find out. And before that, Lisa threatened to haunt her husband’s second wife if she didn’t smile every time he screamed out ‘Lisa!!!!’ during an awkward moment.”
Why is Cory getting married? He is just a couple of years removed from being a high school delinquent. Shouldn’t he be using that money to pay for college or something?