Ka-boom! Blaam!

Link to today’s strip.

Odds are, this shortcut lands them right in the middle of filming. If we’re lucky, it will be an effects shoot and they’ll all be blown up.

— TheDiva

I stand in line, TheDiva. Now let’s hope that some of those costumed Space Dudes have better aim than Imperial Stormtroopers and actually score a few hits on that bus.

Are we ever going to learn what part of a futuristic sci-fi popcorn flick is so critical it *MUST* be filmed in modern-day Cleveland?

— hitorque

Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hiney Ho! Thy wish is granted, hitorque (kind of.) Long live Jambi.

Unfortunately, we seem to have missed the part where the bus crashed through a police barricade preventing traffic from going through that alley to begin with, but I guess we shouldn’t quibble about T-Bats not really knowing how something actually works before putting it into one of his little scribbles. On the up side, though, we finally have a strip that picks up where yesterday left off. So although it’s probably going to take two weeks to get that damn bus off the set, at least we’ll be able to follow the story line for a change.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Ka-boom! Blaam!

  1. I still don’t get. Where in the script of a science fiction movie would there be explosion in a early 21st Century urban area? Especially with guys in those suits. IT MAKES NO F—-ING SENSE! Of course, Batiuk won’t bother to explain.

  2. billytheskink

    Of course this happens on the one field trip that doesn’t involve Les or Dinkle and Lefty’s band. TB has a phenomenal ability to find new ways to disappoint.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Sigh. The mind reels when you consider that this is just the beginning, he’s going to find EVEN MORE contrived ways to feature EVERYONE in this SJ thing. And not just the FW characters, mind you, but those motherless f*cking Crankshaft people too. It’ll never end.

    All that second panel needs is pizza for it to be an extremely disconcerting glance into what’s normally going through our pal TomBat’s comic book-addled skull at any given time. The vivid dream-like hallucinations are getting worse, I’m afraid.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    This explains a lot. I guess The Author wants us to surmise that Darin and Pete, instead of writing a new script, merely ripped the cover page off of “Man of Steel” and handed to the producers and the director who have been sequestered in the studio (or filming in North Korea) for the last several years and therefore wouldn’t catch on. (Although crossing out “Superman” and writing in “Starbuck Jones” in the dialogue could have tipped them off.)

  5. spacemanspiff85

    Is Batiuk not aware that computer effects exist? Because there’s no way that last panel would look like that or sound like that while it’s being filmed.

    • HeyItsDave

      What do you mean that’s not what it would look like? Didn’t you see what a wreck Disney made of New York City when they filmed The Avengers? Holy shit, it took years to rebuild! That’s why they had to film Age of Ultron in Easterneuropostan where no one cared if they leveled an entire chunk of continent.

  6. Well, let’s see if I can go two for two! *presses fingers to temples* I hereby predict that this disruption, instead of stopping the shoot dead while the unauthorized personnel are evacuated before someone gets seriously hurt, will be declared to have improved the scene immensely and everyone will be thrilled that they’re suddenly extras in the All-Important Starbuck Jones Movie. Much smirking all around.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    I predict Wedgeman gets mistaken for a hideous space monster, despite still not being shown.

  8. Jamf

    I know what you’re thinking… Are they filming Starbuck Jones, or only a Dirty Harry sequel? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this minutia, I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is Funky Winkerbean, the most boring comic strip in the world, and would burn your eyes clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I give a shit?” Well, do ya, punk?

  9. Jimmy

    I’m just looking forward to the strip where Perfesser Jim and the students get their SAG cards. It should be riveting.

  10. On this side, complete ignorance as how to a film shoot actually works being passed off as ‘writing’. On the other side, it’s funny because Jffff’s mother has contracted Stage Four lung cancer and has hours to live.

  11. @ED: “All that second panel needs is pizza…”

    Actually, that second panel is ALL about pizza. Those aren’t special effects explosions, and they’re not filming anything at the moment (that’s why the alley wasn’t blocked off to keep wayward school buses out of the scene). What we see in panel two is simply what happens when Montoni’s pizza hits the delicate California digestive systems of the crew members. It ain’t pretty, but it does explain the guy in the hazmat suit.

  12. HeyItsDave

    @Paul Jones

  13. 1. At least I now know Mason’s out-of-left-field suggestion to involve Westview High in the movie was purely to grease the skids for today…
    2. Sadly, because this movie has no director, there’s nobody to yell “CUT!” and start cussing at everybody… Which is just as well, since Mason evidently forgot to hire cameramen and crew members, as well…
    3. I don’t know what’s worse – The fact that this dreck (which even the boys at MST3K wouldn’t touch) is the best Pete and Darrin could have come up with (and being inexplicably proud of the result), or the fact that the original script was *SO* bad, Mason hired a comics writer whom he had never met, solely on the secondhand reccommendation from his girlfriend, who just happened to be eavesdropping on a conversation at Montoni’s… And this dreck is supposed to be an actual “improvement”??

  14. If nothing else, the second panel of today’s strip answers the question of why Battyuck always farms out his sideways-Sunday-strip “Starsuck Jones” panels to other artists.

  15. Yeah, cheap shot… but there wasn’t much of anything I could do with the FW panels today.


    So..nobody in the Cleveland Police Dept thought to block the whole filming area? Look I know the CPD is a pretty bad police force, but this should be common sense logistical move.

    Maybe there are no police in the Funky Universe. The last one we saw was that gay porno star that tried to pick up Mopey Pete awhile back. That experience didn’t do good for Mopey Pete. You know, come to think of it, nobody ever stopped the excessive bullying at Westview High. Nobody has investigated or put down Funky’s monopoly in the town. And nobody found that bomber.

    I think I’m on to something…

  17. Jim in Wisc.

    In Krankenschäft, Rose now needs to be in a horrible traffic accident and lose an arm. After that, she can go deaf, then reveal that in high school she was raped and impregnated. That will make her the perfect Batiukverse character.


    Three things about Batiuk’s “more lighthearted strip”, Crankshaft

    1. I think I’ve found my Gravatar in today’s Crankshaft. He even kind of looks like me.

    2. How is it that an elderly woman being told she has cancer is the most funniest thing I’ve read in a Batiuk strip.n I literally laughed when the word cancer appeared. In fact, I wondered if that wasn’t a “Hey It’s Dave” classic!!

    3. Millions die, yet Crankshaft still lives on.

  19. Professor Fate

    In science there a phase ‘not even wrong’ to describe an idea that fails as science never mind the idea itself being wrong.
    I think that here we have an example of ‘not even bad’

  20. bad wolf

    Still in awe of today’s Crankshaft. Could it be that Batiuk really has no idea that his trope became a joke almost ten years ago?

  21. Saturnino

    “After that, she can go deaf, then reveal that in high school she was raped and impregnated. That will make her the perfect Batiukverse character.”

    Especially if Jff is the issue of that rape, which would explain the abuse to which he was subjected.

  22. Epicus Doomus

    He’s seriously doing ANOTHER tragic cancer arc? I mean jeez man, get the f*ck over yourself. NO ONE wants to read that sort of maudlin tripe and badly-contrived pathos. Perhaps at one time that “approach” was “new and different”, but now it just appears to be a desperate whine for attention, shock value for the sake of it.

  23. Keeeerist. Now you clowns have me reading Crankshaft. I never had the slightest interest before this. Gonna send you a bill once my lawyers finish with the paperwork. Meanwhile, TB is counting the extra page views this week. Happy?