Arty Party

Maddest of mad props to billytheskink for the last two weeks’ posting. Billy’s broad knowledge of FW canon is matched only by his skill with haiku.

Today we see Marianne Winters and Mason chatting on set…’scuse me…what? Oh! Sorry: it’s some other blue-black bobbed babe chatting up Darin at a kid’s party. “Jessica tells me you’re an artist.” There’s no need for Darin’s “self-defectating” response: she’s not impressed to meet a hotshot Hollywood storyboard ace, but rather, dismayed at having wasted money on a caricaturist when she could’ve pressed her party guest into service for free. This insult goes right over distracted Darin’s head: he’s regarding the sketch artist at work, and pondering things like “Why does his face look so weirdly specific? Why is a professional artist working with a yellow #2 school pencil? Why would a professional artist draw a professional artist working with a yellow #2 school pencil?”

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Arty Party

  1. I have this horrible feeling we’re about to be introduced to another Starbuck Jones alum, who is living in bitter poverty because PRINCIPLES or some damn thing.
    The problem is, it’s too late for him to contribute to the movie. Unless…oh God…
    “Hey, even though we’re opening in a few days, we don’t have a POSTER for the film! I’ll hire you to do it!”
    As I said earlier, this has gone way past “childish wish-fulfillment” straight into “infantile diaper-wallowing.”
    Watch out, Marvin your territory is being scrutinized and studied, and slowly and surely plans are being drawn against you by minds cool, unsympathetic, and around two to three years old.

    • Comic Book Harriet

      Yeah, pretty much my immediate reaction. When I said a couple weeks ago re the Valentine storyline that Batty has an obsession with rescuing the old and obscure…he must have seen it and taken it as a challenge to cram as many old turds into the comic as possible so he could lovingly polish them, one by one.

  2. billytheskink

    I have to admit, I like the decor. 20% of the US flag is one of my favorite party themes.

  3. Charles

    What the hell is Mike Francesa doing there and why is he drawing pictures of kids?

  4. spacemanspiff85

    This guy is drawing caricatures. They all tend to look pretty similar. Maybe that’s why they look familiar.
    Also, if this guy’s caricatures of little kids look so much like his Starbuck Jones art, just how crappy must be the art in that comic be?

  5. Epicus Doomus

    I guess “I sketch crude mock-up storyboards for a comic book movie franchise” doesn’t have the same “cachet” as “I’m an artist” does. Boy Lisa is an “artist” as the Archies were “musicians”. Yes, technically, sure. But it’s a reach if not an outright stretch. He did some doodling for Les’ vanity book then he fell ass-backwards into his current gig when his best friend was named head writer. No one even sees his stupid storyboards and other people tell him what to draw, he’s at best a lucky hack.

    It is pretty funny how he’s immediately drawn to the old sketch artist and not the Hollywood starlet lookalike who’s chatting him up. Then again he does already have the perfect wife, who’s probably furiously dusting his useless Flash treadmill right now.

  6. I would have preferred a clumsy look at the vaccination debate to more of this yapping about the old Batom office and the old yapping about how evil Stan Lee was for wanting something that wasn’t the trite crap Batiuk confuses with good writing.

  7. Chyron HR

    He’s Jack Kirby? He’s the original artist of Starcuck Jones? He’s both? It could be any of these options, or something even stupider. Stay tooned!

  8. Saturnino

    I was hoping that “Jessica tells me you’re an artist…..” was a pickup line.

    That would make the strip less self-defecating.

  9. hitorque

    Hey sure, fuck it… What’s one more embittered has been/never was/friend of a friend who’s down on his luck on the Starbuck Jones: The Motion Picture payroll? It’s already the leading employer for the states of California and Ohio…

    In fact, it’s in everybody’s best interest if this movie never gets completed and just stays in a perpetual state of production.

  10. hitorque

    Just to reiterate, Darrin’s credentials as an “artiste” go no further than doodling a rudimentary comic book in his high school study hall, and getting a job sketching basic storyboards *ONLY* because he was the best friend of a dude whom a woman who the star/producer was steady fucking happened to overhear completely by happenstance that he’s allegedly a decent artist…

    Tune in next week as Pete Rattabastardo gets nominated for the Nobel Prize for Comics Literature because everybody gets everything they wish for in the Funkyverse…

  11. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Darrin’ thought balloon : “I know how I know him! He’s the creepy pedophile that drew nudes of all the kids at my 11th birthday party! I had no idea he was paroled, yet! Small world! Good to see him getting work!”

  12. Oh he’s an *artist*, look out everyone, a genius is in our midst.

    I could take a dump in a frying pan and call it *art*.