Advise-a-Bull

One of the perks of being a retired Westview faculty member, I guess, is unfettered access to all areas of the campus. You’d think that an athlete who’s just set a new team record might be surrounded by teammates and well-wishers, but here’s #31 just sitting alone at his locker, still in uniform, savoring his accomplishment until Bull can manage to make his way down from the cheap seats.

“Have you got any advice for me?” Sure!

“Don’t take up tennis! You’ll need to buy two rackets!”

“Don’t take up jogging! You’ll keep running into Funky and Les!”

“Better get started on the Rogaine, your hairline’s receding almost as much as mine!”

 

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Advise-a-Bull

  1. In panel one, Bull’s gigantic head makes it look as though a team mascot (for “The Losers,” maybe) is congratulating the kid. Does this strip just force everyone to produce terrible artwork?

    • comicbookharriet

      Ugh. I was just thinking that. And to think I had complimented Ayers work on Crankshaft a couple months ago… This week has been an awful parade of muppet rejects smirking. Like that Happy Time Murders movie, but somehow even more comedically bankrupt and offensive.

  2. bayoustu

    What in the name of all that’s holy is that on Bull’s face (where a nose should be) in panel 3?! Come on, other art guy- TRY!! What professional would look at that and say: “Oh, yeah! I’m on fire! Beat that, New Guy!”…?!

  3. Epicus Doomus

    “Congrats! Now go enjoy your dismal, hopeless, ruined future, you dumb sporto!”…truly words to live by. This light-hearted approach to Bull’s crippling brain disorder is truly baffling and not especially “funny” either. It certainly didn’t start out as a conduit for gags about Bull’s fractured “noggin” but here we are. The CTE story arc was yet another Act III “issue” arc he probably should have shelved in favor of more football camp gags and mascot jokes but as always it’s too late for that now. Sigh.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    “So, where are your teammates? Showering off, huh? Boy, that takes me back. Let me go congratulate them, too.”

  5. billytheskink

    In the Batiukverse, getting out of Westview has been proven to be far better for your health than quitting football.

  6. The Nelson Puppet

    This is like a contest between Batiuk and Ayers to see who can do a more dreadful job of half-assing it!

  7. erdmann

    1) A scene such as this would more likely occur on the sidelines in front of the rest of the team and the fans. It would make a great photo op.

    2) If this player just set a new school rushing record, he has apparently been playing for a while. Wouldn’t he have played for Bull? There is no suggestion here they know each other — i.e., Bull calling the kid by his name (that is, provided he has a name, which he apparently doesn’t).

    3) In panel one, Bull’s head is either swelling up as a result of his brain injuries or it has broken free of his body and is floating out of the panel towards us.

    Still, I guess we should be grateful for this comic. In the old days, experiencing such as complete disconnect from reality required the use of dangerous, mind-altering narcotics that could only be obtained through illicit means. This is much safer, if not as much fun.

  8. We’d all be better off if Batiuk took Bull’s advice and retired to the links for good. Our noggins need a break too.

    • hitorque

      We also would have accepted:

      “Comic books… Invest in lots and lots of comic books. It pays off better than any retirement fund or stock market scheme!”

    • Professor Fate

      Yes it had a sense of ‘it was something people liked to do and remembered fondly’ so different from the Death March in FW. Also not a mention of Oxygen tanks anywhere.

  9. hitorque

    When the hell did Westview change their colors from red+white to black+white??