Badly Drawn Bull

Rusty
September 10, 2018 at 7:00 am
Well, at least we know this week is going to be painful.

Looks like we’re in for a whole week of this “Sophomoric Sightings” bullshit. Today we learn that in four seasons of high school football, Bull Bushka amassed a record-setting total of forty-three yards. That’s not a per-game average, that’s his high school career total. It’s easy to see why college scouts were so interested. And this pathetic record of his held up for four decades.

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Badly Drawn Bull

  1. Epicus Doomus

    You know what’d be funny? IMO it’d be hilarious if “Sophomoric Sightings” suddenly took a turn toward the “dark and serious” just like (chortle) FW did back in the day. Like for example, maybe a series of poorly-drawn strips featuring Frankie knocking Lisa around or Fred Fairgood stroking out on the toilet, stuff like that. Then BatNom could do an arc where “SS” is recognized by a prestigious awards committee who sends a magazine writer over to the AK building to do a puff-piece profile on the team who re-defined comic strips. You know, reality-based stuff featuring the issues affecting young people and such.

    BanTom “lost it” decades ago but these recent “mash-up” arcs are seriously alarming. Just like he could have scratched his Dinkle itch by having the Band Alumni gather to swap old sepia-toned Dinkle stories, he could have had Bull’s old pals and students gather to trade old sepia-toned Bull memories while they watched his “record” fall. But instead he a) decided to fill the Band Alumni arc with nonsensical oxygen tank gags and b) decided to goof on Bull via (yet another) comic strip-within-a-comic strip even though Pete and Boy Lisa couldn’t possibly have any less to do with Bull or football. These are not “odd” artistic choices, they’re inexplicable beyond words. I guarantee you could count the FW readers who remember “SS” on one hand and out of those readers it’s a lead pipe cinch that not one of them liked it. It’s a weird convoluted backhand way of paying tribute to his old Act I roots again, something he does a lot considering how he couldn’t wait to bury those very same roots (and likewise celebrated THAT for years as well) back in the day. The whole thing makes my head hurt.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    “Sophomoric Sightings” just seems like a vehicle for Batiuk to use gags that are so lame he’d be embarrassed to just put them in his normal strip, which is really, really saying something.

  3. countoftowergrove

    One thing is for sure: I find this “art” better than Olivia Jaimes’ Nancy.

  4. Rusty

    Somehow this version of Bull’s wife (can’t remember her name) is hotter than the regular version.

  5. billytheskink

    I actually like this artwork better than the regular artwork (such as the word “regular” can be used to describe it); it almost has charm. Funky, in particular, is a drastic improvement.

    Why, it nearly reaches the level of Billy, Age 7’s guest stints drawing Family Circus!

  6. @Rusty: That’s exactly what I thought, because Linda looks nothing like that in their world!

    Maybe P&D went through some “sophomoric sightings”
    of their own for the coach’s wife!

  7. Yuck. I’d rather watch Crankshaft stupidly destroy Labor Day again than watch a week of envious little twits savage their gym teacher for daring to get them off of their lazy asses.

  8. Rusty

    Even stranger, these may be Act 3 characters in an Act 2 strip, when these 2 idiots were in high school.

  9. The fact that these are contemporary versions of Funky, Bull and Linda tells me that Pete and Dullard did in fact quit their jobs at Chester’s comics so they could contribute to the high school paper. I can’t think of any other excuse for this moronity, except to get to a 50th anniversary.

  10. It should be noted that this isn’t Bull saying his record was 43 yards, this is Pete and Dullard saying it. You know, two characters who probably despised the jocks when they were in high school. So there’s no telling what his actual record was.

    If it was actually just 43 yards, then yesterday’s strip where Pete reads this news is made double idiotic; no one would report on such a record being broken.

    • bobanero

      Exactly! It’s as implausible as Coach Stropp being a beloved coach who never won a single game in his entire career, or Bull managing to win a championship (or was it two) with a comically inept team. It’s clear that when it comes to sportos, TB doesn’t give any fucks about continuity or accuracy if he thinks he can pull a horrible joke out of it.

      I’m not sure where he’s going with the Sophomore Sightings resurrection this week. Does he think he can make a stale joke seem fresher if he depicts it with grade school level artwork?

  11. Don

    Maybe when you don’t count the games Bull played when he was academically ineligible, he really did only gain 43 yards?

    Besides, Westview has always been a pass-heavy team; both the “temporary coach Les comes up with a play that wins the conference championship” and the “mascot goes into the game and scores the winning touchdown” were pass plays.