Well, which is it? Can’t get back to sleep or great sense of relief? Methinks TB found and liked this Churchill quote (actually a paraphrase), and made up his mind to insert it into a strip, however hamfistedly.
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Days until Funky Winkerbean’s 50th Anniversary
Funky Winkerbean made its debut on March 27, 1972. Click here for a countdown of days until the fiftieth anniversary and hopefully Tom Batiuk's retirement.
Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
After Saturday rolled around, there was always a sense of relief that something different might finally happen on Monday. As Epicus Doomus once said, “There’s nothing more frustrating than watching two FW characters yammering on and on for weeks on end with no result”.
Typical Batiuk, relentlessly flogging the point home via meaningless meandering dialog that takes days to play out. And there’s no point to any of it because a) it’s glaringly obvious how it’ll play out and b) Adeela will never be seen or heard from again once it’s over, unless he does a “Wally Graduates” arc, which given Wally’s status in the strip seems kind of unlikely. He’ll re-appear two years from now, with the characters all remarking on how well he’s been doing since he graduated, then the smoke alarm “low battery” alert will go off and undo a decade of progress and hope. Maybe someday he’ll do a Wally story that doesn’t involve PTSD but somehow I doubt it.
So as usual it’s only Tuesday and every single daily FW reader is already rolling their eyes and wishing there was a way to, you know, speed this shit along a little but, as usual, the FW formula is irrevocable and ironclad and not subject to change, puff-piece interview gloating notwithstanding.
But, but, we’ve already been promised a big Wally graduates arc because Tony’s supposed to come back from Florida!
He really is just grinding it out until 2022, isn’t he?
Yeah, but look on the bright side. If it weren’t for Batiuk, we’d be snarking on Mark Trail and James Allen!
That strip is all kinds of awful.
On the other hand, there are few things less exhilarating than reading a comic strip that produces no result.
Tom Batiuk: “Nelson Puppet, if you were my husband, I’d poison you.”
The Nelson Puppet: “Madame, if you were my wife, I’d take it.”
Winston Churchill also said: “We shall go on to the end. We shall snark in Westview, we shall snark at the Scapegoat games and band practices, we shall snark with growing confidence and growing strength in Comics Kingdom, we shall defend our Son of Stuck Funky, whatever the cost may be, we shall snark in the pizza parlor, we shall snark in the comic book store, we shall snark in Les Moore’s classroom and in his home, we shall snark in Bedside Manor; we shall never surrender.”
The Prime Minister also gave Tom Batiuk the “V sign”:
https://images.spot.im/v1/production/akqcin7wm25dccrgetqw
One random character asking another random character “Hey, did you hear Wally has PTSD?” would’ve been just as insightful and profound as this arc has been. But then Batiuk wouldn’t have been able to waste multiple weeks of his strip.
This strip is the sort of arrant bullshit up with which nobody should put.
Ah, Churchillian snark!
Batty leans back in his desk chair after hours of work crafting today’s strip. He interlaces his fingers, and says:
“See Chuck, this is how you do it. Throw in a fancy quote from a famous person, diverse characters—cause you know diversity is a hot topic today—and the result is an award winning strip. Now we sit back and wait for the call.”
Winston Churchill: “Tom Batiuk came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today Mr. Batiuk, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be a hack.”
Good call TB. Use a quote from the Prime Minister of another country that invaded hers. Now she’ll really warm up to Wally.
Wally’s face in panel 1 is the perfect embodiment of “Grandpa Google”.
Funny that Wally would cite a quote like that, since he was probably the one who was doing the shooting.
I have a much simpler quote for him: “GET STUFFED!!”
Winston Churchill is to Gallipoli as Tom Batiuk is to Funky Winkerbean