Speak Softly and Act Like a Big Dick

Epicus Doomus
March 1, 2019 at 12:01 am
Four words: Les Moore must die.

You win this round, Les Moore. You came, you saw, you walked out of the store with the very first thing you tried on. And you happily paid full price. Now, just for good measure, toss out one of your endless supply of quotable quotations. There’s that look of disgust again from Cayla, who clearly has at last had enough of your bullshit. Not to worry: your true soulmate, Linda Bushka, will be back on the market soon!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Speak Softly and Act Like a Big Dick

  1. Hm, let me see if I can conjure up something. (Presses fingers against temples, and makes that ‘constipated’ face.) Hmm. Hmm, yes, definitely getting something…hang on, it’s appearing. It’s…it’s…it’s a complete piece of crap.

    (Opens eyes.) Did I win?

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Four words: Les Moore must die.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    “Speaking of which, when are you going to start wearing your hair like Lisa did? And spreading my peanut butter like Lisa did? And answering to Lisa outside of the bedroom on days other than my birthday?”

  4. billytheskink

    Roosevelt was wrong, Funky Winkerbean is the thief of joy.

    Nice to see the traveling green shirt has happily moved on from Pete and now frocks a man with a gourd-shaped face.

    • LTPFTR

      “Thief of joy” is the mission statement for Batiuk Inc. Or as he’d probably put it, Batiuk INK (That’s INK instead of Inc., in case you missed my wordplay. It’s very subtle and I think worthy of an award. Pulitzer, please!)

  5. ComicTrek

    Cayla’s facial expression would make a great reaction image to pretty much anything Les says! I know it’s temporary, but right now she has HAD IT with him, and she’s letting him know it!
    Too bad this came about as the result of a “male vs. female shopping” arc instead of a “let them sort out the issues concerning their relationship” arc.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    It dawns on me that this quote explains the slapdash approach TomBa uses in writing FW. He gets an idea for a strip and immediately draws the strip without further researching his idea to see if he’s right because “comparison is the thief of joy.” It also explains his disdain for editors.

  7. Max Power

    The last thing FW needed: Les on a rocket-fueled smugness bender.

  8. Miskatonic Sophomore

    Les Moore, the inexhaustible fountain of smugness. Hey, look at me, I’m a famous author with a brand-new sport coat! My wife’s upset because you know how WOMEN are about SHOPPING, but I’m going to make fun of her, har har!

    I hope Cayla wears the sport coat when she finally smothers Les with a pillow.

  9. I actually didn’t mind this arc despite it being another one of TB’s “men are from mars – women are from venus” tropes. When my son was growing up I often told him that a man’s approach to shopping should be to ‘hunt it down and kill it.’ If you find it at the first place you go to, get it and move on with your day in an effort to maximize your time and limited resources. I appreciate that Les was able to do that. I don’t appreciate how TB uses (and reuses) the trope.

  10. Jimmy

    I’m a charter member of the Hate Les Club, but what’s the deal with Cayla here? The look of utter anger does not match the situation.

    Since they’re in a shopping mall, I’m guessing Les bought this sport coat at JC Penney. Do they still have salespeople helping with fittings?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      In Batty’s mind it’s always 1972. He probably lugs a ton of books around with him on vacation cause he wouldn’t be caught dead with an e-reader of any sort.

      I loved the 70s too, but it is a new day, and it is time for some new talent on the comics page.