Teen-ior Moment

A tip of the SoSF pillbox hat to comicbookharriet for her outstanding commentary these last two weeks!

Before the Army made a man out of him, we all know that Cory Winkerbean was a thief, a cheater, a vandal, and generally a smartass. Today we learn that he was also a pillhead and a slob, too wasted or apathetic to even try and hide his addiction from his mom. I’d suggest that Cory inherited his slovenliness from his grandmother Melinda, but I seem to recall (correct me if I’m wrong) that, like half of his Act III contemporaries, Cory’s an adoptee.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Teen-ior Moment

  1. Batgirl

    My vague recollection is that Cory is Holly’s son from a previous marriage (to whom, though, and was it death and/or divorce?) and Funky adopted him when he and Holly married.

    • Epicus Doomus

      The amazing thing about the Cory character is how no one seems to be amazed or even mildly surprised by his stunning transformation from local bad apple with surliness issues to ramrod-straight arrow polite model citizen. It’s like they all just forgot and now assume he’s always been like this. His dirtbag hi-jinx and various moral failings were an ongoing thing in early Act III but like with all the Act III kids he just sort of faded away and now only makes a few bland cameo visits here and there.

  2. William Thompson

    It could be worse, Frau Winkerbean. Your son could have grown up to be a baton-wielding arsonist.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Empty pill bottles? A teenager’s bedroom full of empty prescription pill bottles is indicative of way bigger issues than mere slovenliness. I know Cory was quite the scumbag in his day but still, that’s a weird correlation to make. Either BatBag is way out of touch or he knows some really f*cked-up teenagers. “Dammit, Cory! The Xanax bottles go in the recyclable bin, not the trash!”…that doesn’t seem very much like Holly at all IMO.

    Oh yeah…the Funky’s Mother-In-Law arc of 2018. I assumed he’d get back to that one eventually and here we are. I wonder how many FW stories are still unresolved and technically not “over”? I’m not even going to attempt to list them, but there must be at least dozens at a minimum.

    Gee, I wonder if Funky’s MIL will annoy, frustrate and or exasperate at some point? Me, I’m just hoping there’s plenty of wryness and a few zingers at Funky’s expense, as we can all use the palate cleanser after enduring Linda’s sad attempts to hide Bull’s suicide and Les’ continued desire to cash in on his dead wife’s cancer, not to mention the always-grating Dinkle. Yep, just some good old fashioned zany mother-in-law gags, that’s the ticket.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Corey’s room being covered in pill bottles puts his stealing from Lisa’s Legacy Run in a new light.

  5. billytheskink

    Why is she picking all of these things up at once? The clothes appear to be the only thing that doesn’t belong somewhere else in the kitchen. Is she taking half-eaten snacks to the hamper?

  6. comicbookharriet

    Why is her mom so messy all of a sudden? We got to see the interior of Melinda’s house before moving and it was full of antiques and things, but not cluttered with clothes and garbage. And isn’t Melinda a pushy perfectionist band-mom? How does being a slob mesh with that?

    • Gerard Plourde

      Most probably TomBa, in his rush to finish the strip so he could get back to his cocoa and Flash comics, forgot that Holly’s mom was an obsessed band mom.

    • William Thompson

      With Alzheimer’s, or plain senility, some changes happen so gradually that you don’t notice them for quite a while. Turning into a slob isn’t one of them, so Batiuk is probably going to grace us with another hysterically funny arc about senile decay.

      • Gerard Plourde

        I was thinking that as well. But we know from Mort’s experience that a cure for senility exists – moving in to Bedside Manor and taking up smoking. (With the added side benefit of the return of one’s libido.)

  7. Paul Jones

    In his haste to blight the world with yet another half-baked Very Special Something, Batiuk isn’t going to be slowed down by a trivial and worthless think called “consistency of character.” Melinda will always have been a woman who can no longer take care of herself because of the ravages of age.

  8. William Thompson

    This is one of those times when I wonder if Batiuk has based something on his own life. Or freebased it.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Westview should have the biggest teen drug problem in America. The constant death, misery, disease, hopelessness, and lack of opportunity would send Jiminy Cricket to a bong.

      And that’s not even the worst of it. That would be this town’s sad sack adults who wallow in self-pity, teach you nothing, insult you for no reason, and even discourage you from trying to better yourself. All while chuckling at how witty they are.

      Any kid who can graduate Westview High School without at least a moderate alcohol problem is a goddam trooper. So don’t talk to me about empty pill bottles, lady.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Agh, Sebastian Maniscalco compared youth and old age in a bit about travel.

    When you are young, you just cram a few things into a bag and you are done. When you are old, the toiletry bag takes up the most space, you got pills to make you go, pills to keep you from going, etc. Funny bit.

  10. bobanero

    Isn’t Holly’s mother roughly the same age as Funky’s father? Why aren’t they just sticking her in Bedside Manor?

  11. sgtsaunders

    Oh yes, those pesky teens and their endless pill bottles.

  12. Count of Tower Grove

    Today Todd rectons Cory’s ne’er do well pre-enlistment behavior with a casual and sloppy use of pharmaceuticals. Perhaps that explains his petty criminal past.

    • Gerard Plourde

      An untreated drug problem would have barred Cory from enlistment. Add requirements for joining military service to the list of things TomBa doesn’t know about.

  13. What kind of bearded, entitled moron leaves a backpack full of money just sitting somewhere? Is Les so delicate he can’t carry a backpack?

  14. Merry Pookster

    What does harry Dinkle, Holly’s Mom, Funky’s Dad, and this comic strip all have in common? ……………… Near Death.