Mates of Estate

It’s true that many people neglect the important task of estate planning, leaving “a big mess behind” for their survivors. One would think, however, that a small business owner, the head of the chamber of commerce no less, would already have seen to his affairs by the time he’s reached Funky’s age. Rather than having to be dragged along by his wife to a financial seminar.

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45 Comments

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45 responses to “Mates of Estate

  1. William Thompson

    I approve of Funky’s plan to leave a big mess behind. It will give everyone else a reason to wash their hands of Montoni’s. Plus, it will deprive Les of the chance to gloat over the inevitable petty wrangling and turn it into another book: “Funky’s Monkey Business: Abject Failure in Small Town America.”

  2. Epicus Doomus

    This is all completely unnecessary, as when Funky and Holly die, they’ll be leaving Funky’s vast pizza empire in the capable hands of the Lisa’s Legacy Fund. I mean, duh. There’s no way Funky would consent to leaving his pizza empire in Cory’s hands. You might as well give to Zanzibar. And Wally is too jittery and unstable to run a pizza cartel, as he’s proven time and time again. Some guys are just born number twos.

  3. Y. Knott

    Where has the funkywinkerbean.com/books notation gone? I mean, what if after reading this brilliant strip, I had a sudden and irresistible hankering to purchase hundreds of Funky Winkerbean strips, in convenient book form? How would I know where to go to, without that note between panels two and three?

    More importantly….

    Has Tom given up on selling the books?

    Has he sold out of the books?

    Did someone at King Features actually read the strip, and tell him to cut out the blatant shilling for the books?

    I don’t know. None of these scenarios sound plausible to me….what else might have happened?

    • Gerard Plourde

      It’s still there, just loading a bit slow.

    • Yep, the books page is still working, thank God. Interesting, beady-eyed catch though, Y.Knott, and I just perused the archive: that “books” URL hasn’t appeared since the July 9th strip. Batiuk recently teased on the blog about the “looming” (his word) redesign of the official FW site. Maybe the site structure is going to change and cause that link to break, like the link to lisaslegacyfund.org that used to appear between panels.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        He’s made 4 pointless posts in 8 days since he announced the “looming redesign”, but he’s said nothing about his panel at Comic-Con last weekend.

      • Y. Knott

        This makes the most sense. I guess we’ll see once the site redesign is up!

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I know Batty mentioned he is updating the website so maybe the books page is changing.

  4. ED, you could have stopped after, “This is all completely unnecessary.” I have a feeling this comment will apply to the entire arc, regardless of how many weeks it wastes.

    Why does Holly’s ever-more prominent/disturbing hair horn disappear when she’s viewed face-on?

  5. billytheskink

    I can’t wait to hear Holly explain to the seminar speaker that she spent most of her and Funky’s retirement savings on completing Cory’s Starbuck Jones collection.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      At least the Starbuck Jones collection turned into an engagement ring. I’d much rather hear Darrin explain to the seminar speaker that he gave his entire windfall to the Lisa’s Legacy Foundation.

  6. My spouse and I have been to a few financial planning seminars, and every one of them has involved some kind of free meal to entice us to listen to their spiel. We were seated at real tables with tablecloths (the last one we went to was at a Ruth’s Chis Steakhouse and the food was pretty good). If you’re going to give a seminar on estate planning in 2022, and you’re not offering a free meal, there’s no reason not to make this a webinar or a zoom meeting and save the costs of renting the meeting space.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I’m surprised Montoni’s itself isn’t catering it. Westview runs on selecting the cheapest, easiest, laziest option at all times.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    This raises several interesting questions (which TomBa will totally ignore). Montoni’s was founded by Tony who is not at all related to Funky. I believe that Funky and Tony eventually formed either a partnership, an LLC, or some form of (probably closely-held) corporation. Did Funky eventually buy out Tony? Is there a succession plan for the entity? If it’s a closely-held corporation, who are the shareholders? Does Holly hold shares in her own right?

    What kind of estate planning seminar are they attending?

    I can hardly wait to see what kind of mess TomBa has served up for us this week.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Surely Funky has to kick up to Tony, but on the street Funky is the clear boss, the capo di pizza. He’s also Komix Korner’s landlord, and the Korner owes Holly for the Dick Tracy collection, so they’re juicing John (and thus the comic book market itself) two ways. The only Westviewian racket Funky doesn’t control is the teacher’s union. That’s why Funky lives in a huge McMansion while the rest of them live like animals.

    • Charles

      I can hardly wait to see what kind of mess TomBa has served up for us this week.

      Or this week will have very little to nothing to do with estate planning as Batiuk spends an entire week with Funky just making an ass of himself.

      And each day this man leading the seminar will start anew not remembering how Funky was a complete gratuitous asshole just minutes earlier and will continue to call on him earnestly when it’s obvious that Funky isn’t taking this seriously at all.

      • Anonymous Sparrow

        Maybe it will be our old friend Livingston from the Kilimanjaro climb, or a relative of Funky’s eye doctor:

        “Uncle warned me about this guy. Lord, help me, if he makes one more ‘Star Trek’ gag…”

        R.I.P., Nichelle Nichols. We’ll keep the hailing frequencies open., Nyota Uhura.

        • Charles

          It really stunned me, but it shouldn’t, that Batiuk didn’t consider just how badly an African might respond to some asshole tourist quoting Henry Stanley, who was instrumental in the Congo genocide. It’d be like constantly quoting Jeffery Amherst to a member of an Algonquin or Iroquois tribe.

      • You think Funky’s going to do an encore of his last few AA meetings and workshop his tight ten about the restaurant during the pandemic?

    • William Thompson

      I can hardly wait to learn something about estate planning, as people who know what they’re talking about correct Batiuk’s blunders.

  8. The Dreamer

    Remember that Funky is likely still deeply in debt from borrowing heavily to try and turn Montoni’s into a franchise. He couldn’t take on Pizza Hut, and all his locations- including the NYC location we visit at the beginning of Act 3- closed. The franchising of Montoni’s wasca disaster. Funky also got cleaned out by Cindy in the divorce and if he bought into Montonis while they were still married, it was communal property n.v and he probably had to buy her out

    Then he would have made very little money for at least a year due to COVID and only being able to do takeout business

    • Y. Knott

      On the other hand, it’s the only place in Westview anyone ever goes to eat. Also, their wedding catering business appears to be coming along nicely. And after Tony died, he left his half of the business to Funky, because that’s how businesses work, right?

      Plus, Funky probably invoked a “kill fee” when the franchises went under, so the restaurants closed AND he got paid for it. Because that’s how kill fees work, right?

      • The Dreamer

        Tony Montoni is not dead, he’s retired in Florida Funky owned all the franchises, they failed before being profitable enough to sell

    • Gerard Plourde

      “Funky also got cleaned out by Cindy in the divorce”

      Possibly not. Remember, Cindy by that time was a news anchor (not sure if she had gone national yet). Ohio is not a community property state, but does use the concept of “equitable distribution” which attempts to divide marital assets evenly. So Funky could actually have benefitted from the divorce.

      • Gerard Plourde

        Also, forgot to add that, if her annual income earnings were far greater than his (a likely scenario), he would have been entitled to spousal support, possibly up until the time he married Holly.

        • ComicBookHarriet

          Cindy actually declined to take half of Montoni’s when they divorced. When her lawyer was pushing her to get whatever she could, she canned him and they had Lisa handle their divorce.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Was this before or after she died? “If you’re viewing this tape, I am representing my client in a divorce case…”

          • billytheskink

            The best part of that was that it was Funky looking despondent about Montoni’s that seemed to cause Cindy to have a change of heart… that or her disgust at the thought of having to take half of Funky’s share of Montoni’s. Saint Lisa drafting a “simple dissolution agreement” on a pizza napkin was some choice Act II FW.

            And just weeks after TB revealed Holly’s attraction to Funky in a week’s work of strips featuring Holly’s hands reminiscing about photos of everyone in Act I. Holly wouldn’t act on this attraction until May of the following year, though…

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            “I’m not trained in domestic relations law.” Screw you, Lisa, you’re not trained in jack shit. You were handed a law degree off-panel after being an unemployable, socially crippled, butt-ugly, knocked-up teenager who was scared out of the room by a standardized test. To put it mildly, people like you don’t succeed in law school. Your job in life was to be a bigger loser than Les is, and then die so he could have his byronic hero story. And to be Tom Batiuk’s replacement Gwen Stacy after Marvel correctly refused to let him write the real thing.

  9. J.J. O'Malley

    So help me, if Chester Hagglemore comes out to tell everyone to put their savings in Silver Age comic books…

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      That would actually be make sense for this world. It could even be fun, if this world had a drop of humor about itself.

      An “estate seminar” in Westview should be Chester talking about grading and which comic books are the best. “Now, when you started with Westview Public Schools or Montoni’s, they should have issued you your comic books. Yes, you in the back with your hand up? You moved from out of state and you have a 401(k)? Oh, dear. Ohhhhhh, dear.”

      Cory and Rocky’s “integration display” should have been her dowry instead. Marry my daughter, you get these comic books. That would fit this strip’s value system perfectly.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      If I could put my savings into Golden Age comic books I would. It would be one way to beat inflation.

      • Bad wolf

        I was only a collector of things i read but I’m still kicking myself for not buying some original art when i had the chance. I think the market for that has risen considerably and it’s a real one-off, not a reproduction. Also, digital art is diminishing how much is even produced now!

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    This reeks of “Tom Batiuk went to an estate planning seminar 11 months ago.” One of those dumb-ass “slice of my life” arcs where he drones on about some banal process despite having nothing to say about it.

    It also reeks of “today is Monday, so Funky Winkerbean needs an entire strip to tell you what this week is going to be about.” Tomorrow’s strip will no doubt will start with “so, here at the estate planning seminar…” which the whole arc could have just started with instead. God, this strip needs an editor.

  11. If you read the strip in Edith and Archie Bunker voices, it’s much funnier and it will remind you of a better entertainment product.

  12. Hitorque

    Wait… Isn’t Dr. Funkenburger a wildly successful independent businessman and president of the Chamber of Commerce? Shouldn’t he have his own attorney/estate planner?

  13. ComicBookHarriet

    THERE WAS ALREADY A WEEKLONG ESTATE PLANNING ARC IN FEB 2017! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN!??!

    • The Dreamer

      Actually it was never explained how Funky, working as a delivery boy at Montonid, somehow saved enough money to buy half of Montonis?

    • Y. Knott

      Huh! Batiuk completely forgetting about continuity, and pointlessly regurgitating an arc he’s done before — who had that on their “How Funky Will Suck This Week” bingo card?