I know, right? Ed wasn’t doing his job. Ed was doing the exact opposite of his job. Ed always does the exact opposite of his job and that’s supposed to be funny.
And that’s why, in case of a dire medical emergency, you should always call Les Moore to take you to the hospital.
Dick Facet is more reliable than Crankshaft when it comes to driving people to the hospital
fuck I meant to write dick facey but i misstyped
Naw. Dick Facet works too…
There are many sides to Les Moore, but every one a bell end.
As the inventor of “Dick Facey”, I approve of this message.
I’m also quite fond of the Bearded Dick with Ears.
NO! You are forever banned! From…wait, do we have luncheons or something here? BAN THE MAD TITAN 2854 FROM…Bingo nights? Is that a thing we have? Huh, I would’ve thought we…YOU MISSPELLED A MADE-UP WORD! Now, you shall face–THE VERY MEAN OPOSSUMS! What, we don’t have those either? Man, this branch of the Omnipotent Illuminati kinda sucks.
(leaves to find opossums)
Ed Crankshaft killed a man! Isn’t that funny?
When I was just a baby,
My mama told me son.
Always be a good boy
And don’t drive a bus
But I caused a heart attack in Westview
And I watched him die.
Now I’m stuck in Batiuk prison….
“I can get you there slower MYSELF!”
I was trying to capture the juxtaposition of Pop Clutch’s, whose death is treated so flippantly, and Dead St. Lisa, who is taken with Kim Il-Sung levels of seriousness.
You’ve also managed to capture how dying St. Lisa dressed like Crankshaft, a fact that has long disturbed me more than I try to let on.
‘Sfunny. No one in the Funkshaftiverse has hard feelings when someone else maims or kills them.
Ol’ Becky never seemed to mind when Wally’s drunk driving cost her her arm, her Juilliard scholarship, and her whole future.
When the hospital told Lisa, “Whoopsie-doodle! Guess you have Stage IV, not remission! Our bad!,” she just shrugged and said, “Meh, whaddaya gonna do?”
And here’s the latest installment. “You killed me so you could mildly inconvenience a bunch of random strangers. Hey, no hard feelings.”
Now, if someone says a bad word about Ye Sacred Books of Comix, then KATIE BAR THE DOOR. Rain HELL down upon them!
It’s a sick mind that writes this stuff thinking it’s funny.
that is beyond fucked up (I’m talking about the fact that Crankshaft let somebody die because of his behavior)
I wish the strip went something like this:
Crankshaft: Sorry about the fact of me being an asshole caused your death.
Clutch: SORRY?!? THAT DOESNT MEAN SHIT WHEN YOU CAUSED MY DEATH WHILE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL! NOW I’M GONNA HAVE A BUNCH OF GHOSTS TO DRAG YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS TO HELL!
Crankshaft: NO PLEASE DONT DO THIS!!!
(the ghosts of Lisa, Jack Stropp, Bull Bushka, and Michael Montoni drag Crankshaft to hell, with Crankshaft screaming the entire damn way)
While Phil Holt and Tony Montoni cheer them on, right?
Everybody in Cancerdeathville and Centerville except for Pam Murdoch, Max Murdoch, and Mary Marizpan
Phil Holt is not dead. He decided not to be.
He should compare notes with Ray Bradbury’s Aunt Tildy from “There Was an Old Woman” sometime.
Unless he’s actually nearer to *The Sandman’s* Hob Gadling who declared death a mug’s game and got spared from it. (Unlike Lou Reed, whose “Men of Good Fortune” gave Hob’s introductory story its title, whom we lost in 2013.)
“Hello? I’ve just killed somebody, I did it on purpose. [Pause] I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!”
It’s not that I expect a doctorate thesis from the responses at gocomics, but as of this moment, the people there which found this strip to be amusing are basically just saying “I like it because I like it, and it’s in the comic section, so I know it should be funny”.
I know it’s been discussed here in the past but I think this is a lot of why TB never has been fully escorted off stage and never will be, barring some Scott Adams incident. Maybe he’s smart enough to avoid it, maybe he’s dull enough to not have an opinion sharp enough to force it. Either way, someone else said it here in essence: People have their built in expectations about comic strips. They look, they either laugh or they don’t, and they move on. Such a mentality is an affront to TB but not so much that he refuses the work or the paycheck.
While I’m here, another TB Trope I thought of after the prior article: Rolls Right Off Their Back – where all professionals endure the consumer or customer being a childish asshole. It’s a very big staple in the strips.
That’s one I’m going to use at some point, though I have a little broader scope in mind.
Oh, I think that finally, after all this time, I finally get “Crankshaft”. It’s not merely a comic strip about a dour, obnoxious, dangerous elderly school bus driver at all. It’s really about the people he tortured, maimed, killed, and inconvenienced along the way. That changes everything. Mind you, I’m still not going to read it, but at least I finally appreciate it properly.
The more of his work I see, the more I’m convinced that BatYam’s high school experience was, uh, less than optimal, let’s say. It quite frankly seems like it must have been really, really harrowing. Someone, or something, really hurt this man. Sigh.
See, I think it’s just the opposite. He’s had no real struggles, and no particular obstacles to overcome. He came from a comfortable middle class existence — not rich, or well-off, but solidly secure. Mom probably threw out some of his comic books, but there’s no indication his parents weren’t generally supportive of him. He did mediocre at school, and was neither the most-liked nor least-liked kid there. He got into Kent State, because…well, probably because he applied. He skipped exams to buy Archies records, but getting kicked out of Kent State wasn’t that big a deal. He didn’t get his non-existent dream job working in a comics bullpen, but he got his own comic strip at 25. He married happily. He had a health scare, but it turned out okay.
I think Batiuk would *love* to be a guy with a deep, dark secret in his past. I think he *wishes* that he was THIS CLOSE to a spiraling, out-of-control life-on-the-edge that was only saved, somehow, by COMIX. And I think he’d be tickled to think that someone, somewhere is concluding he went through a real-life series of harrowing experiences which have become enshrined in his art.
Me? I think Batiuk can’t write drama (or trauma) because A) nothing really interesting ever personally happened to him in that line, B) he has zero empathy, so doesn’t really get it when it happens to someone else, and C) he has terrible, *terrible* research skills.
I think you’re both right. Tom Batiuk had few real problems growing up… but he does have a dark secret in his past he won’t talk about.
It’s comic books.
I’m 25 years younger than Tom Batiuk. Even when I grew up, a kid who acted like him would have had massive problems. By the time you reach age 12, still caring about comic books – kiddie superhero ones, at that – becomes very uncool. And bringing them to school would have gotten him in trouble with teachers. I kept some of my dorky kid hobbies longer than I should have, but I had to learn who I could and couldn’t share them with.
His life was probably an endless parade of social ostracision, embarrassing parent-teacher meetings, and being stuffed into lockers. Which he refuses to acknowledge. Comic books didn’t save his life; they ruined it. But you know the story we get.
I have read of an unwritten rule among comedians and journalists to the effect that ‘you never punch down, you only punch up’. Now that’s likely more applied in spirit than practice at times but I have been using it to try to come up with a way to make Sept. 30 Crankshaft admitting to negligence resulting in death acceptable to everyone, that is, funny to the readers who think the strip is generally funny with today’s being okay, and, uh, palatable to those of us who are appalled and perplexed. Now, if Crankshaft in the last panel made a malapropism which resulted in him making a joke about his own death, well, all we readers could laugh heartily at that, right?
Maybe, another alternate take would be to have the slow bus ride due to something else less malicious, but part of the nature of bus driving. Like Cranky stopping at a railroad crossing and listening for the train. Then Cranky could have been apologetic. “Sorry, force of habit.” and Ghost Pop forgiving.
Or, and here’s a thought, don’t try this joke unless you have a really good punchline. I’m not a pearl clutcher. I enjoy a good bit of dark humor. Even cruel humor. But the punchline has to be worth it.
For example…This cracks me up. It cracked millions of people up. Maybe it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But this kind of humor is effective for those who enjoy it.
I don’t think the normal Crankshaft audience wants him complicit in the manslaughter of a coworker, or finds it funny. Because Crankshaft is supposed to be the kind of guy who is an asshole in the little and petty things, but will come through when it’s really important.
Well, it was more amusing than Kevin Smith’s “Tusk.”
A root canal was more amusing than Kevin Smith’s ‘Tusk’.
Bonus points for the dental synergy!
The well is poisoned on this subject for these strips.
The death of Dead St. Lisa Who Is Dead literally redefines humanity. She and John Darling Who Was Murdered are two people who have been discussed for more time while dead than alive. Jerome Bushka being ghosted by his own daughter on the funeral. Coach Jock with the ashes at the goal line.
Then there’s Phil Holt and now Pop here.
You can’t perpetually venerate and glorify death of some characters and simultaneously make death a joke or temporary condition for others in the same world. It doesn’t work. It can’t be made to work.
You can’t perpetually venerate and glorify death of some characters and simultaneously make death a joke or temporary condition for others in the same world.
Or if you do, you have to be very clear which you mean. Mixing tones is hard to pull off. Tom Batiuk can’t mix tone. I don’t think he can even perceive tone.
Yes, it’s all over the place.
Remember the death of Elenor, the church organist, who died mid-song, leaving nothing but a quivering quaver hovering in the air?
Remember how the choir biddies seemed completely unmoved as her body was put into the ambulance? One of them — Lillian, I think — made some snarky remark about how Elenor always did like a drink, or some such.
Apart from the utter unrealism of this reaction from people who sang and fellowshipped with Elenor for decades, there’s a real void in TB’s understanding which might be explained by BJr6K’s “no theory of mind” speculation.
Even though the reader doesn’t see Elenor’s family, friends, pets, etc, we know that there were people in her life who cared for her. Perhaps she was someone’s beloved grandma, or great-grandma. So her death is a tragedy for someone, perhaps for many people. Same goes for Pop Clutch.
But TB thinks that if he doesn’t show that, it’s not true. But it’s true of virtually everyone who dies, and his audience knows that. And that’s why if you’re going to make the death of someone in the community into a joke, you’d better make it damn funny, or you and your characters come off as total sociopaths.
this reminds me of a comment i made on yesterday’s strip (it’s censored on GoComics):
Clutch: So that’s what you have to say? To tell me you were sorry about the fact that you caused me to die because of your fucking behavior? That’s not gonna cut it. You left my kids without a father and my wife a widow. You don’t deserve to be in this job, and you dont deserve any sympathy for what you did to my family.
Ooo, great example.
The only way to make Saturday’s strip funny would be to put Pop Clutch into it. “No, no, Cranky–remember, I was the one encouraging you!”
Oooh! Yeah! Like Pop Clutch was in the midst of a heart attack but still wanted to see how many cars he could line up behind the bus. Perfect.
So after a week of a depressed Cranky meeting the ghost of his idol (that he killed) with the Jacob Marley derailed into “wow new ways are wild!” jokes as the odd turn in the “Return of the Little Johnson family” arc, this whole mess has reached a sudden end as we segway back into the fresh antics of Cranky vs. Fall weather. Classic Funkyverse.
Early last week, I thought Batiuk’s A Bus Driver Carol might have had some legs. After the visitation of three ghosts, Crankshaft changes his ways and no longer acts like an a$$h*le when he drives a school bus. Pop Clutch was ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Past’. I was half expecting ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present’ today.
Say, we haven’t seen Max Axelrod lately. I wonder if he would have been willing to play ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present’. He’s an a$$h*le and partook in that ghastly school bus rodeo story arc several years ago, didn’t he? Perhaps he might not mind being dead for a few strips. Max Axelrod:I was dead for a few days, but I’m feeling much better now.
Instead of ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present,’ we get Lillian, who is a witch, a gargoyle, a zombie or an unwrapped mummy. Take your pick.
Lillian is also an a$$h*le. I wonder if she would have willing to play ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Future’?
I think that when Crankshaft meets the Ghost of Christmas Future, he’s gonna refuse to knowlege that he’s an total monster and will end up being dragged by his ankle by those he wronged into the depths of Hell
Every time you write something about Cranky getting dragged to hell, I think of the ending to the movie Drag Me to Hell.
To anybody who contends that Lillian is not dead yet, I ask, how can you be sure?
To the tune of Bauhaus’s Bela Lugosi’s Dead
[Verse 1]
Writer of crappy mysteries
Back on the rack
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
The twins have left the bookstore
All the books have been burned
Hair looks like a dead chicken
[Chorus]
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead, undead, undead
[Verse 2]
Angry customers file past her tomb
Strewn with rotten eggs
Wafting a nasty stench
Alone in a darkened room
The witch
[Chorus]
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead
Ghost of Christmas Past: Lisa
Ghost of Christmas Present: Lisa
Ghost of Christmas Future: Lisa
Bob Cratchit: Les
After being shown a horrifying vision of his own future, Ebenezer Scrooge learns to tell Lisa’s story correctly.
i think that Batiuk should do a christmas carol storyline this year (which probably wont happen)
Scrooge = Crankshaft
Cratchit = Lena, Andy, Rocky and Mary
Tiny Tim = Amy Johnson’s mother and daughter
Ghost Of Christmas Past = Tim Meckler, Lucy McKenzie, Mary Crankshaft or Pop Clutch
Ghost Of Christmas Present = Rose Murdoch, Bull Bushka, Funky or Wally Winkerbean
Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come = either Dick Facey, Masky McDeath
Special appearance by Bull Bushka as Marley’s Ghost.
TL;DR: What might’ve happened in a real Crank v. Johnson battle.
I think in the Batiukverse, Mrs. Johnson would lose to Crankshaft because awful people in the Batiukverse get rewarded while good people get punished
Well, the end of a freebie. For almost five full months after I cancelled my “Comics Kingdom” subscription, they continued to send me my ‘Favorites Daily Email’. A perk reserved for paid subscribers. It’s been three days since the last one arrived on Friday, September 29. Nothing in the spam folder.
I wonder what made them notice? Oh, well.
Tips from other CK readers here and from the Comics Curmudgeon have shown me how to read all the CK titles I want. For free.
I’d like to add I offered to continue my Comics Kingdom subscription for the previous annual price of $19.99. I refused to pay a 50% increase for worse service. My offer to billing support fell on deaf ears. They’ll have to find someone else to pay for the continued enshitification of their website.
Anybody check out some of their new titles? They’re a waste of bandwidth.
——————————-
Also, The Comics Kingdom seems desperate to squeeze any money they can out of readers. Last month, they were going to get something out of the free trial readers by charging them 99 cents for the trial period. 99 cents is better than nothing, I guess.
This month, they’re offering the “bargain” of three free months, then $2.99 a month. $2.99 a month is equivalent to a $35.88 annual subscription. Up from the previous $29.99 annual subscription.
They must think people are stupid.
Tips from other CK readers here and from the Comics Curmudgeon have shown me how to read all the CK titles I want. For free.
Spill the Tea on THAT, girlfriend!
A couple of ways.
1.) Erase your browser cookies frequently. If you get the dreaded purple “You’ve reached your monthly max” panel. You can erase your cookies, read a few other comics, and then return to that comic later.
Sometimes, when you get the monthly max panel, you can go back one day in the archive, then navigate back. The strip you want may appear. 🤦♀️
There’s an extension I discovered named ‘Cookie AutoDelete’. It automatically deletes the cookies after several page views. You can also manually clear your cookies by pressing the ‘Cookie AutoDelete’ button in the browser extensions panel.
2.) Tor browser or Brave browser (open a private window with Tor). Performance sometimes can be an issue, but I’ve never seen a “You’ve reached your monthly max” panel.
I have no idea what magic number the Comic Kingdom uses to determine the “monthly max.” It seems to be random. Sometimes it’s three. Other times it seems to be twenty.
Alternatively, you can tell the CK to “bite me” and read their titles on other websites. CK titles can be found on ArcaMax, The Seattle Times, and The Washington Post websites for free.
I miss the old Comics Kingdom interface the Albuquerque Journal, The Denver Post, and the Toronto Star used to have. For free, you could select your favorites comics and the website would generate webpages four favorites at a time.
Last month, they were going to get something out of the free trial readers by charging them 99 cents for the trial period.
That’s a spectacularly stupid idea. The point of a free trial is that it’s free. Charging money for it, even a trivial amount, eliminates the benefit of letting the customer sample the service without having to pay for it. In the online world it also makes people jump through the hoop of giving a credit card number, which most people wish to avoid doing as much as possible.
Between this and the stuff their tech support has told you, ComicsKingdom seems very inept overall.
Regrettably, in order to avail of the free trials, the Comics Kingdom requires users to register their credit card information. After the trial period ends, you’re automatically subscribed and your credit card billed.
December 1st will mark the one-year anniversary since I submitted my problem ticket with Comics Kingdom Customer Care. The problem ticket’s status is still listed as PENDING. Either the CK is too incompetent to fix the issues, or there’s some legal issue with OpenWeb preventing them from rectifying them. Perhaps only OpenWeb programmers can resolve the bugs, and the CK doesn’t want to pay.
So sloppy. It makes me wonder if the CK had a certain go live date scheduled for the OpenWeb changes and reused to budge from it despite the project not being complete.
Certainly nothing like the corporate software upgrades I’ve witnessed during my business career.
I had signed up for CK way back when I was deep diving Wally for a Pizza Box Monster arc. I just canceled my renewal that should have gone through in a couple weeks. Now we wait to see if it actually cancels.
My CK subscription was supposed to renew 05/01/2023, but I cancelled my subscription at 9:30 AM on 4/30/2023 after reading my comics. Subscriber functionality was still there immediately after cancelling. When I tried four hours later, the subscriber functionality was gone. They didn’t wait until midnight. There was no “You have cancelled” email or anything.
How hard is it to automate a “Sorry to see you go” message that informs you how to resubscribe if you change your mind? The Comics Kingdom:You dared to click “unsubscribe.” You are dead to us.”
The Comics Kingdom’s lack of business acumen is astounding
I’ll be curious to find out if your subscription is cancelled today or if the CK honors the two weeks you paid for. I’m placing my bets on cancelled today with no credit for the two weeks remaining weeks.
Like me, you probably had to pack your “Favorites” list with garbage titles just to justify your subscription price.
As I said, I would have resubscribed at $19.99. $29.99 for 12 months? $2.99 a month? Not a chance.
Have any of you GoComics readers read or heard anything about the impending Summer/September upgrades they blogged about last December?
As a “Free Subscriber” I’m subscribed to the GoComics blog but haven’t read anything about the upgrade since then.
Summer and September have come and gone. There have been no changes that I have noticed this year, except for increased moderation and the lame difficulty they placed on posting links (capitalize the “C” in .com, folks).
There was a day a while back where Crankshaft mysteriously disappeared from readers’ “Comics I Follow” list and the GoComics A-Z title list. SoSF readers, including myself, speculated whether GoComics or Batiuk pulled the plug.
Also, last month for about an hour, any title I tried to read was three white panels with a message box in panel three, “Coming Soon!” Perhaps these are side effects of the upgrade? 🤷♀️
I’m willing to subscribe to GoComics, but I want to see the results of the upgrade before I do. After the Comics Kingdom debacle, I’m afraid it’s once bitten twice shy.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I know, right? Ed wasn’t doing his job. Ed was doing the exact opposite of his job. Ed always does the exact opposite of his job and that’s supposed to be funny.
And that’s why, in case of a dire medical emergency, you should always call Les Moore to take you to the hospital.
Dick Facet is more reliable than Crankshaft when it comes to driving people to the hospital
fuck I meant to write dick facey but i misstyped
Naw. Dick Facet works too…
There are many sides to Les Moore, but every one a bell end.
As the inventor of “Dick Facey”, I approve of this message.
I’m also quite fond of the Bearded Dick with Ears.
NO! You are forever banned! From…wait, do we have luncheons or something here? BAN THE MAD TITAN 2854 FROM…Bingo nights? Is that a thing we have? Huh, I would’ve thought we…YOU MISSPELLED A MADE-UP WORD! Now, you shall face–THE VERY MEAN OPOSSUMS! What, we don’t have those either? Man, this branch of the Omnipotent Illuminati kinda sucks.
(leaves to find opossums)
Ed Crankshaft killed a man! Isn’t that funny?
When I was just a baby,
My mama told me son.
Always be a good boy
And don’t drive a bus
But I caused a heart attack in Westview
And I watched him die.
Now I’m stuck in Batiuk prison….
“I can get you there slower MYSELF!”
I was trying to capture the juxtaposition of Pop Clutch’s, whose death is treated so flippantly, and Dead St. Lisa, who is taken with Kim Il-Sung levels of seriousness.
You’ve also managed to capture how dying St. Lisa dressed like Crankshaft, a fact that has long disturbed me more than I try to let on.
‘Sfunny. No one in the Funkshaftiverse has hard feelings when someone else maims or kills them.
Ol’ Becky never seemed to mind when Wally’s drunk driving cost her her arm, her Juilliard scholarship, and her whole future.
When the hospital told Lisa, “Whoopsie-doodle! Guess you have Stage IV, not remission! Our bad!,” she just shrugged and said, “Meh, whaddaya gonna do?”
And here’s the latest installment. “You killed me so you could mildly inconvenience a bunch of random strangers. Hey, no hard feelings.”
Now, if someone says a bad word about Ye Sacred Books of Comix, then KATIE BAR THE DOOR. Rain HELL down upon them!
It’s a sick mind that writes this stuff thinking it’s funny.
that is beyond fucked up (I’m talking about the fact that Crankshaft let somebody die because of his behavior)
I wish the strip went something like this:
Crankshaft: Sorry about the fact of me being an asshole caused your death.
Clutch: SORRY?!? THAT DOESNT MEAN SHIT WHEN YOU CAUSED MY DEATH WHILE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL! NOW I’M GONNA HAVE A BUNCH OF GHOSTS TO DRAG YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS TO HELL!
Crankshaft: NO PLEASE DONT DO THIS!!!
(the ghosts of Lisa, Jack Stropp, Bull Bushka, and Michael Montoni drag Crankshaft to hell, with Crankshaft screaming the entire damn way)
While Phil Holt and Tony Montoni cheer them on, right?
Everybody in Cancerdeathville and Centerville except for Pam Murdoch, Max Murdoch, and Mary Marizpan
Phil Holt is not dead. He decided not to be.
He should compare notes with Ray Bradbury’s Aunt Tildy from “There Was an Old Woman” sometime.
Unless he’s actually nearer to *The Sandman’s* Hob Gadling who declared death a mug’s game and got spared from it. (Unlike Lou Reed, whose “Men of Good Fortune” gave Hob’s introductory story its title, whom we lost in 2013.)
“Hello? I’ve just killed somebody, I did it on purpose. [Pause] I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!”
It’s not that I expect a doctorate thesis from the responses at gocomics, but as of this moment, the people there which found this strip to be amusing are basically just saying “I like it because I like it, and it’s in the comic section, so I know it should be funny”.
I know it’s been discussed here in the past but I think this is a lot of why TB never has been fully escorted off stage and never will be, barring some Scott Adams incident. Maybe he’s smart enough to avoid it, maybe he’s dull enough to not have an opinion sharp enough to force it. Either way, someone else said it here in essence: People have their built in expectations about comic strips. They look, they either laugh or they don’t, and they move on. Such a mentality is an affront to TB but not so much that he refuses the work or the paycheck.
While I’m here, another TB Trope I thought of after the prior article: Rolls Right Off Their Back – where all professionals endure the consumer or customer being a childish asshole. It’s a very big staple in the strips.
That’s one I’m going to use at some point, though I have a little broader scope in mind.
Oh, I think that finally, after all this time, I finally get “Crankshaft”. It’s not merely a comic strip about a dour, obnoxious, dangerous elderly school bus driver at all. It’s really about the people he tortured, maimed, killed, and inconvenienced along the way. That changes everything. Mind you, I’m still not going to read it, but at least I finally appreciate it properly.
The more of his work I see, the more I’m convinced that BatYam’s high school experience was, uh, less than optimal, let’s say. It quite frankly seems like it must have been really, really harrowing. Someone, or something, really hurt this man. Sigh.
See, I think it’s just the opposite. He’s had no real struggles, and no particular obstacles to overcome. He came from a comfortable middle class existence — not rich, or well-off, but solidly secure. Mom probably threw out some of his comic books, but there’s no indication his parents weren’t generally supportive of him. He did mediocre at school, and was neither the most-liked nor least-liked kid there. He got into Kent State, because…well, probably because he applied. He skipped exams to buy Archies records, but getting kicked out of Kent State wasn’t that big a deal. He didn’t get his non-existent dream job working in a comics bullpen, but he got his own comic strip at 25. He married happily. He had a health scare, but it turned out okay.
I think Batiuk would *love* to be a guy with a deep, dark secret in his past. I think he *wishes* that he was THIS CLOSE to a spiraling, out-of-control life-on-the-edge that was only saved, somehow, by COMIX. And I think he’d be tickled to think that someone, somewhere is concluding he went through a real-life series of harrowing experiences which have become enshrined in his art.
Me? I think Batiuk can’t write drama (or trauma) because A) nothing really interesting ever personally happened to him in that line, B) he has zero empathy, so doesn’t really get it when it happens to someone else, and C) he has terrible, *terrible* research skills.
I think you’re both right. Tom Batiuk had few real problems growing up… but he does have a dark secret in his past he won’t talk about.
It’s comic books.
I’m 25 years younger than Tom Batiuk. Even when I grew up, a kid who acted like him would have had massive problems. By the time you reach age 12, still caring about comic books – kiddie superhero ones, at that – becomes very uncool. And bringing them to school would have gotten him in trouble with teachers. I kept some of my dorky kid hobbies longer than I should have, but I had to learn who I could and couldn’t share them with.
His life was probably an endless parade of social ostracision, embarrassing parent-teacher meetings, and being stuffed into lockers. Which he refuses to acknowledge. Comic books didn’t save his life; they ruined it. But you know the story we get.
I have read of an unwritten rule among comedians and journalists to the effect that ‘you never punch down, you only punch up’. Now that’s likely more applied in spirit than practice at times but I have been using it to try to come up with a way to make Sept. 30 Crankshaft admitting to negligence resulting in death acceptable to everyone, that is, funny to the readers who think the strip is generally funny with today’s being okay, and, uh, palatable to those of us who are appalled and perplexed. Now, if Crankshaft in the last panel made a malapropism which resulted in him making a joke about his own death, well, all we readers could laugh heartily at that, right?
Maybe, another alternate take would be to have the slow bus ride due to something else less malicious, but part of the nature of bus driving. Like Cranky stopping at a railroad crossing and listening for the train. Then Cranky could have been apologetic. “Sorry, force of habit.” and Ghost Pop forgiving.
Or, and here’s a thought, don’t try this joke unless you have a really good punchline. I’m not a pearl clutcher. I enjoy a good bit of dark humor. Even cruel humor. But the punchline has to be worth it.
For example…This cracks me up. It cracked millions of people up. Maybe it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But this kind of humor is effective for those who enjoy it.
I don’t think the normal Crankshaft audience wants him complicit in the manslaughter of a coworker, or finds it funny. Because Crankshaft is supposed to be the kind of guy who is an asshole in the little and petty things, but will come through when it’s really important.
Well, it was more amusing than Kevin Smith’s “Tusk.”
A root canal was more amusing than Kevin Smith’s ‘Tusk’.
Bonus points for the dental synergy!
The well is poisoned on this subject for these strips.
The death of Dead St. Lisa Who Is Dead literally redefines humanity. She and John Darling Who Was Murdered are two people who have been discussed for more time while dead than alive. Jerome Bushka being ghosted by his own daughter on the funeral. Coach Jock with the ashes at the goal line.
Then there’s Phil Holt and now Pop here.
You can’t perpetually venerate and glorify death of some characters and simultaneously make death a joke or temporary condition for others in the same world. It doesn’t work. It can’t be made to work.
You can’t perpetually venerate and glorify death of some characters and simultaneously make death a joke or temporary condition for others in the same world.
Or if you do, you have to be very clear which you mean. Mixing tones is hard to pull off. Tom Batiuk can’t mix tone. I don’t think he can even perceive tone.
Yes, it’s all over the place.
Remember the death of Elenor, the church organist, who died mid-song, leaving nothing but a quivering quaver hovering in the air?
Remember how the choir biddies seemed completely unmoved as her body was put into the ambulance? One of them — Lillian, I think — made some snarky remark about how Elenor always did like a drink, or some such.
Apart from the utter unrealism of this reaction from people who sang and fellowshipped with Elenor for decades, there’s a real void in TB’s understanding which might be explained by BJr6K’s “no theory of mind” speculation.
Even though the reader doesn’t see Elenor’s family, friends, pets, etc, we know that there were people in her life who cared for her. Perhaps she was someone’s beloved grandma, or great-grandma. So her death is a tragedy for someone, perhaps for many people. Same goes for Pop Clutch.
But TB thinks that if he doesn’t show that, it’s not true. But it’s true of virtually everyone who dies, and his audience knows that. And that’s why if you’re going to make the death of someone in the community into a joke, you’d better make it damn funny, or you and your characters come off as total sociopaths.
this reminds me of a comment i made on yesterday’s strip (it’s censored on GoComics):
Clutch: So that’s what you have to say? To tell me you were sorry about the fact that you caused me to die because of your fucking behavior? That’s not gonna cut it. You left my kids without a father and my wife a widow. You don’t deserve to be in this job, and you dont deserve any sympathy for what you did to my family.
Ooo, great example.
The only way to make Saturday’s strip funny would be to put Pop Clutch into it. “No, no, Cranky–remember, I was the one encouraging you!”
Oooh! Yeah! Like Pop Clutch was in the midst of a heart attack but still wanted to see how many cars he could line up behind the bus. Perfect.
So after a week of a depressed Cranky meeting the ghost of his idol (that he killed) with the Jacob Marley derailed into “wow new ways are wild!” jokes as the odd turn in the “Return of the Little Johnson family” arc, this whole mess has reached a sudden end as we segway back into the fresh antics of Cranky vs. Fall weather. Classic Funkyverse.
Early last week, I thought Batiuk’s A Bus Driver Carol might have had some legs. After the visitation of three ghosts, Crankshaft changes his ways and no longer acts like an a$$h*le when he drives a school bus. Pop Clutch was ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Past’. I was half expecting ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present’ today.
Say, we haven’t seen Max Axelrod lately. I wonder if he would have been willing to play ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present’. He’s an a$$h*le and partook in that ghastly school bus rodeo story arc several years ago, didn’t he? Perhaps he might not mind being dead for a few strips.
Max Axelrod: I was dead for a few days, but I’m feeling much better now.
Instead of ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Present,’ we get Lillian, who is a witch, a gargoyle, a zombie or an unwrapped mummy. Take your pick.
Lillian is also an a$$h*le. I wonder if she would have willing to play ‘The Ghost of Bus Drivers Future’?
I think that when Crankshaft meets the Ghost of Christmas Future, he’s gonna refuse to knowlege that he’s an total monster and will end up being dragged by his ankle by those he wronged into the depths of Hell
Every time you write something about Cranky getting dragged to hell, I think of the ending to the movie Drag Me to Hell.
To anybody who contends that Lillian is not dead yet, I ask, how can you be sure?
To the tune of Bauhaus’s Bela Lugosi’s Dead
[Verse 1]
Writer of crappy mysteries
Back on the rack
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
The twins have left the bookstore
All the books have been burned
Hair looks like a dead chicken
[Chorus]
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead, undead, undead
[Verse 2]
Angry customers file past her tomb
Strewn with rotten eggs
Wafting a nasty stench
Alone in a darkened room
The witch
[Chorus]
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Lilly MacKenzie’s dead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead, undead, undead
Undead
[Bridge]
Oh Lilly
Lilly’s undead
Oh Lilly
Lilly’s undead
Lilly’s undead
Oh Lilly
Lilly’s undead
Oh Lilly
[Outro]
Undead
The Funkyverse Christmas Carol
Ghost of Christmas Past: Lisa
Ghost of Christmas Present: Lisa
Ghost of Christmas Future: Lisa
Bob Cratchit: Les
After being shown a horrifying vision of his own future, Ebenezer Scrooge learns to tell Lisa’s story correctly.
i think that Batiuk should do a christmas carol storyline this year (which probably wont happen)
Scrooge = Crankshaft
Cratchit = Lena, Andy, Rocky and Mary
Tiny Tim = Amy Johnson’s mother and daughter
Ghost Of Christmas Past = Tim Meckler, Lucy McKenzie, Mary Crankshaft or Pop Clutch
Ghost Of Christmas Present = Rose Murdoch, Bull Bushka, Funky or Wally Winkerbean
Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come = either Dick Facey, Masky McDeath
Special appearance by Bull Bushka as Marley’s Ghost.
TL;DR: What might’ve happened in a real Crank v. Johnson battle.
https://www.boredpanda.com/student-petty-revenge-tyrant-vice-principal/
I think in the Batiukverse, Mrs. Johnson would lose to Crankshaft because awful people in the Batiukverse get rewarded while good people get punished
Well, the end of a freebie. For almost five full months after I cancelled my “Comics Kingdom” subscription, they continued to send me my ‘Favorites Daily Email’. A perk reserved for paid subscribers. It’s been three days since the last one arrived on Friday, September 29. Nothing in the spam folder.
I wonder what made them notice? Oh, well.
Tips from other CK readers here and from the Comics Curmudgeon have shown me how to read all the CK titles I want. For free.
I’d like to add I offered to continue my Comics Kingdom subscription for the previous annual price of $19.99. I refused to pay a 50% increase for worse service. My offer to billing support fell on deaf ears. They’ll have to find someone else to pay for the continued enshitification of their website.
Anybody check out some of their new titles? They’re a waste of bandwidth.
——————————-
Also, The Comics Kingdom seems desperate to squeeze any money they can out of readers. Last month, they were going to get something out of the free trial readers by charging them 99 cents for the trial period. 99 cents is better than nothing, I guess.
This month, they’re offering the “bargain” of three free months, then $2.99 a month. $2.99 a month is equivalent to a $35.88 annual subscription. Up from the previous $29.99 annual subscription.
They must think people are stupid.
Tips from other CK readers here and from the Comics Curmudgeon have shown me how to read all the CK titles I want. For free.
Spill the Tea on THAT, girlfriend!
A couple of ways.
1.) Erase your browser cookies frequently. If you get the dreaded purple “You’ve reached your monthly max” panel. You can erase your cookies, read a few other comics, and then return to that comic later.
Sometimes, when you get the monthly max panel, you can go back one day in the archive, then navigate back. The strip you want may appear. 🤦♀️
There’s an extension I discovered named ‘Cookie AutoDelete’. It automatically deletes the cookies after several page views. You can also manually clear your cookies by pressing the ‘Cookie AutoDelete’ button in the browser extensions panel.
2.) Tor browser or Brave browser (open a private window with Tor). Performance sometimes can be an issue, but I’ve never seen a “You’ve reached your monthly max” panel.
I have no idea what magic number the Comic Kingdom uses to determine the “monthly max.” It seems to be random. Sometimes it’s three. Other times it seems to be twenty.
Alternatively, you can tell the CK to “bite me” and read their titles on other websites. CK titles can be found on ArcaMax, The Seattle Times, and The Washington Post websites for free.
I miss the old Comics Kingdom interface the Albuquerque Journal, The Denver Post, and the Toronto Star used to have. For free, you could select your favorites comics and the website would generate webpages four favorites at a time.
Last month, they were going to get something out of the free trial readers by charging them 99 cents for the trial period.
That’s a spectacularly stupid idea. The point of a free trial is that it’s free. Charging money for it, even a trivial amount, eliminates the benefit of letting the customer sample the service without having to pay for it. In the online world it also makes people jump through the hoop of giving a credit card number, which most people wish to avoid doing as much as possible.
Between this and the stuff their tech support has told you, ComicsKingdom seems very inept overall.
Regrettably, in order to avail of the free trials, the Comics Kingdom requires users to register their credit card information. After the trial period ends, you’re automatically subscribed and your credit card billed.
December 1st will mark the one-year anniversary since I submitted my problem ticket with Comics Kingdom Customer Care. The problem ticket’s status is still listed as PENDING. Either the CK is too incompetent to fix the issues, or there’s some legal issue with OpenWeb preventing them from rectifying them. Perhaps only OpenWeb programmers can resolve the bugs, and the CK doesn’t want to pay.
So sloppy. It makes me wonder if the CK had a certain go live date scheduled for the OpenWeb changes and reused to budge from it despite the project not being complete.
Certainly nothing like the corporate software upgrades I’ve witnessed during my business career.
I had signed up for CK way back when I was deep diving Wally for a Pizza Box Monster arc. I just canceled my renewal that should have gone through in a couple weeks. Now we wait to see if it actually cancels.
My CK subscription was supposed to renew 05/01/2023, but I cancelled my subscription at 9:30 AM on 4/30/2023 after reading my comics. Subscriber functionality was still there immediately after cancelling. When I tried four hours later, the subscriber functionality was gone. They didn’t wait until midnight. There was no “You have cancelled” email or anything.
How hard is it to automate a “Sorry to see you go” message that informs you how to resubscribe if you change your mind?
The Comics Kingdom: You dared to click “unsubscribe.” You are dead to us.”
The Comics Kingdom’s lack of business acumen is astounding
I’ll be curious to find out if your subscription is cancelled today or if the CK honors the two weeks you paid for. I’m placing my bets on cancelled today with no credit for the two weeks remaining weeks.
Like me, you probably had to pack your “Favorites” list with garbage titles just to justify your subscription price.
As I said, I would have resubscribed at $19.99. $29.99 for 12 months? $2.99 a month? Not a chance.
Have any of you GoComics readers read or heard anything about the impending Summer/September upgrades
they blogged about last December?
As a “Free Subscriber” I’m subscribed to the GoComics blog but haven’t read anything about the upgrade since then.
Summer and September have come and gone. There have been no changes that I have noticed this year, except for increased moderation and the lame difficulty they placed on posting links (capitalize the “C” in .com, folks).
There was a day a while back where Crankshaft mysteriously disappeared from readers’ “Comics I Follow” list and the GoComics A-Z title list. SoSF readers, including myself, speculated whether GoComics or Batiuk pulled the plug.
Also, last month for about an hour, any title I tried to read was three white panels with a message box in panel three, “Coming Soon!” Perhaps these are side effects of the upgrade? 🤷♀️
I’m willing to subscribe to GoComics, but I want to see the results of the upgrade before I do. After the Comics Kingdom debacle, I’m afraid it’s once bitten twice shy.