A Full Deck.

47 thoughts on “A Full Deck.”

1. The irritating thing is that it’s not the name that makes the strip a hot mess. Looking at what he sees as highlights explain why.

2. Thanks for these and the commentary. I remember when Jr. High me discovered FW in the local newspapers in the 70s. Having read Mad magazine for a few years, none of the funny pages were funny to me except FW, Doonesbury, and a weird strip called “Larry Gore’s Thing.” I have the act one hardcover books and still crack them open once in a while.

   1. Larry Gore was briefly publicist for *MAD* magazine.

      He was too mad for Bill Gaines and his crew, according to Frank Jacobs’s *Mad World of William M. Gaines.*

      Some humor goes beyond the jugular vein (or the varicose, which was the one for *Panic*).

3. Completely unrecognizable, both in terms of character design and writing style, from what FW eventually devolved into.

   Does this make Batiuk Akron’s second greatest exponent of the Theory of Devolution?

   1. These early strips are funny. They’re also hilariously mean-sprited, in a way that fits the high school setting perfectly. It’s kind of sad how aggressively Tom Batiuk pivoted away from his strengths. And how proud of himself he is for doing that.

      1. It is interesting to see that TB actually kept Act I’s mean-spiritedness into Act III, to some extent, but he changed how he framed it… so it goes from funny to insufferable.

         Act I’s shtick is funny because its double-edged. The youths are selfish and dumb but the adults charged with them are churlish and lazy. Bull is mean but Les is a shmuck. Roland is a jerk but his dad is a loser/Wicked Wanda is undiplomatic. Everyone brings their flaws with them.

         A lot of these things are the same in Act II and Act III, but TB sanded away one of the edges. The adults and parents are still churlish and lazy, but it is framed as being because the youths are selfish and dumb. Les is a shmuck, but he’s a shmuck because people were mean to him in high school. Etc. Etc.

         The skewer became a hatchet, and TB went from poking to hacking.

         1. That’s a great observation. Mean-spiritedness, by itself, was never the problem with the Funkyverse. After Seinfeld, mean-spiritedness and unsympathetic protagonists became very popular. The problem is Batiuk’s insistence that these unsympathetic, unlikeable, do-nothing characters are the universe’s finest example of noble suffering.

            Which they are not. Even if noble suffering were a virtue in American culture. Which it is not.

            Lisa was a professional victim. Les was a useless husband who saw his wife’s death mostly as a way to kick-start his writing career. Between the two of them, they couldn’t be bothered to arrange for their own child’s future. Then Batiuk spent a decade making Les a world-class superstar with his fucking amateur cancer book. As if his background and experience weren’t dirt-common.

            15 years later, Batiuk continues to act like Lisa’s death was some kind of cultural touchstone. It wasn’t. It made little impact, even in the greatly diminished world of newspaper comics. And he doubles down on Les and Lisa’s specialness at every single turn. Nobody’s buying it.

            1. Poll 100 Americans, and I suspect 97 of them will have no idea what a “Funky Winkerbean” is, let alone anything at all about Lisa’s death. (The three that do recognize the words “Funky Winkerbean”? Two of them will have an idea that it’s a Simpsons reference.)

            2. I doubt even 2% of Simpsons fans recognize Funky Winkerbean, because the episode the reference appears in is widely detested.

            3. I’m far from an authority on “Seinfeld,” but I do know that Larry David listed two tenets for it:

               “No learning. No hugging.”*

               If a similar view colored *Funky Winkerbean* in its early years, the later incarnations seemed to reject it: 

               There was supposed to be learning, as we see with the infamous “some children were left behind,” and there was supposed to be hugging, or at least “some kiss.”

               Yet what there was didn’t amount to a hill of beans (as Rick would tell Ilsa at the end of *”Casablanca”**) or to mastery of the domain (to use the euphemism from “Seinfeld”).

               *

               Carl Reiner’s rules for “The Dick Van Dyke” show were “no slang, no period references, nothing that will date us in reruns.”

               **

               “Ilsa” is an anagram of “Lisa.” Have movie fans John and Becky ever mused on that, like Luna pondering that “God” spelled backwards is “dog” in “Sleeper”?

               Play a Gershwin tune, Ragtime Rascals!

   2. DEVO’s Mothersbaugh on Akron, in the song My Home Town: “It’s a city of pain, it’s one big factory!”

      Gerry Casale on That Thing that happened at KSU: http://www.clubdevo.com/2014/05/04/gerald-v-casale-of-devo-on-kent-state-shootings-from-his-may-4th-2010-speech/

      Yeah, wasn’t just a student, he was in the massacre. So, he was there in 1970. Bats is listed as “KSU ’69.” So he wasn’t there. But DEVO and Bats could’ve been students there at the same time. One group had the event change their lives. One guy remembers skipping class to buy a comic book.

      Has Tom ever gone into detail about his reaction to the shootings?

      1. Has Tom Batiuk ever gone into detail about anything? Other than his very narrow, childish media preferences, and his attempts to dictate his legacy. He’s simply not interested in anything else. Not even an event that should have had a huge impact on him, even if he wasn’t personally affected.

         Hell, he couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge the anniversary of Funky Winkerbean on his blog or social media. Sometimes i think we care about FW more than he does.

   3. When/if my comment leaves the chute, sorry, it was a COOL RECORD that Tom bought at KSU, not a comic book. “devo ksu” led to the Casale speech. “batuik ksu” led to one of those fatuous “interviews” he does, that began with being told that Tom loved comic books, but his parents wouldn’t let him buy them.

      I think I may already know the answer to my question about how That Event at KSU ’70 affected him…

      1. That Event allowed TB, many years later, to piggyback a long Crankshaft arc on it. Pam and Jeff showing Mindy(?) around and reminiscing about having been present, while Pam still kept that from her dad.

         Aaaaannnnd that was it.

         1. I paused before asking the question, thinking “Of course he’s talked about it. It was just so underwhelming that I don’t remember it.”

            If it happened to Tom, through Les we’d get a first- row seat by the vendos, and for DECADES. If it happened to a friend of Tom’s, we’d get that loser Funky viewing it. If it was something Tom kinda heard of, it’d be filtered through a lady girl, because what use are they?

            I think I remember it. It was Pam trying not to breathe tear gas, wasn’t it? Because…breathing is optional sometimes? If it had happened to Tom, it wouldn’t be Casale’s gut-punch speech, but Tom complaining “I didn’t get to eat, and it was CHOCOLATE PUDDING DAY! I would never find out how the Flash survived Gorilla Grodd with all these teenaged corpses in my way!”

            1. If I recall correctly, that story arc was mostly written by Chuck Ayers, who was still the artist on Crankshaft at the time, and who actually was present for the event. (At the very least, it was Batiuk writing from Ayers’ recollections.)

         2. Pam still hiding her involvement from her father at age 75 was just disgusting. Especially when she only there to do her job as a campus journalist, and history has long since viewed the national guard’s actions as unjust. Oh, and she was lucky not be killed in the process. It’s another shining example of Funkyverse characters being unmoved when their own existences are threatened.

            I also don’t think the story ever addressed the fact that Pam’s life was saved by Ralph Meckler, the now-deceased son of Ed Crankshaft’s close friend. It’s possible neither student knew of this personal connection they had (or it didn’t even exist yet). But it’s one hell of a missed storytelling opportunity. Especially in a world that runs on cheap drama.

         3. This is one of his serious arcs that I thought was well done. Instead of cramming his views down the reader’s throat, he showed multiple perspectives—and they were all realistic. Crankshaft on the side of the National Guard, Pam on the side of the protesters, and Crankshaft’s grandson who doesn’t care either way.

            This is one time he actually delivered a quality story.

            1. he showed multiple perspectives—and they were all realistic

               Which I think is a dreadful example of false balance, or “both sides-ism.” In the interest of honoring the blog’s no-politics rule, that’s all I’ll say about it.

4. I’m surprised every time I see examples of the early years. They’re well done and well structured, with punchlines that are usually amusing and sometimes quite funny.

   The most startling difference is that Act I had distinctly written characters that remained consistent in their behaviors and motives. And the humor flowed from the characters, which is what made it recognizable and real, which is what made it funny.

   Today we have poor or no structure, and a whole cast of characters who are all either Gary Stus or bland handmaidens to Gary Stus. (Dinkle and Crankshaft are the lone exceptions.)

   Worst of all, instead of snappy character-driven humor, we have rambling setups, linear time that is completely nonlinear, continuity that is totally discontinuous — and random “punchlines” assigned to any old character for no particular reason.

   Was Tom possessed by a dybbuk? Did a gypsy woman in a caravan cast a malign spell? How did he forget the basics of character and structure after knowing and deploying them for all those years?

   1. Hey Duck,

      Don’t mean to come off as rude or judgmental, but just letting you know “gypsy” isn’t really an appropriate word to use anymore and instead use the word “Romani”.

      Again, no offense meant just wanted to let you know.

5. The “comic strip censorship” bit was funnier when Bloom County did it.

   Snugglebunnies!

   Snugglebunnies!

   Snugglebunnies!

   Snu-

6. Thank you for taking the time to research and write about ACT I FW, CBH. This has been a most enjoyable read. Since I don’t have access to these strips anymore, this has been a pleasant trip down memory lane. I wish I could remember what other comic strips were featured in our local newspaper in the early 1970s, but I recall “Funky Winkerbean” being one of the best. There, I said it. (She’s gone mad! 😱)

   1. If you’re mad, I’m mad too, because I have also fond memories of Act I. I remember it was part of my weekly Sunday comics ritual in the early 1980s. Peanuts, Garfield, and Funky Winkerbean are the ones I remember. (Calvin & Hobbes, Bloom County, and The Far Side didn’t exist yet, at least not in our newspaper.)

      I read them in order of perceived quality. There were about 6-7 strips total, but I always read Funky Winkerbean last, because it was the last one that made the cut. I remember this distinctly for some reason. But I did genuinely like the strip once. I think that’s kind of a prerequisite for SOSF. You had to know how good it once, was to be offended by how bad it became.

      1. In our local paper in the early 1970s, along with Funky Winkerbean, I now recall Peanuts, Pogo, Li’l Abner, Blondie, Beetle Bailey, Hi and Lois, Hagar the Horrible, Dennis the Menace, The Family Circus, B.C., The Wizard of Id, Animal Crackers, Nancy, and Miss Peach.

         Many of the titles above that are still in circulation pale in quality to what they were in the 1970s. Looking at you, in particular, Kings Feature Syndicate zombie strips. Funky Winkerbean wasn’t the only title to fall down a well.

         There were several soap opera strips in the paper, too, but I never really got into reading those. I still don’t. There was the crossword puzzle, The Jumble, horoscopes, Ask Ann Landers, and some kind of feature covering bridge, the card game. Did your parents play bridge with other couples? Mine did. “Kids, go upstairs. Our company has arrived.”

         For Better or For Worse and Garfield came along at the end of the 1970s. For a long time, my favorite comic strip was Garfield. I even purchased the first eight Garfield paperbacks (but found only one Funky Winkerbean paperback). Although I still read and enjoy Garfield, it clearly hasn’t been as good since it became Garfield, Inc.

         ——————————

         I think that’s kind of a prerequisite for SOSF. You had to know how good it once was to be offended by how bad it became.

         That’s a good point. I’m sure on some level most of us SoSFers feel some sense of betrayal. Why didn’t Tom stay in his lane and continue to go with his strengths? What event happened to make him believe he had the chops to be a writer of drama? He struggles with grammar more than I do.

         I joke about going to Tom’s house, ringing the door bell and kneeing him in the groin, but in reality I’d shake his hand, ask for his autograph, and tell him I’ve been a fan since I was a young girl. If he plugged a book, I’d probably even buy it from him. 😂

         I wish there were paperback or Kindle versions of the early The Complete Funky Winkerbean volumes. $45 to $60 for one book? I know the book is published by a college university, but do they have to charge college bookstore prices? The public libraries near me have zero Funky Winkerbean books.

         1. There was the crossword puzzle, The Jumble, horoscopes, Ask Ann Landers, and some kind of feature covering bridge, the card game. Did your parents play bridge with other couples?

            I have never played bridge and have no idea how the game is played, but I always read the bridge column in the newspaper (the one in our paper was written by Omar Sharif–yes, the movie star). The appeal was the way Sharif wrote with understandable English words and syntax, but the column was still complete gibberish to me.

            As you might expect, later in life I would become a fan of Yes.

            1. You are a fan of “Yes”? You mean the progressive rock band? I’m afraid I don’t understand the reference. Bridge-Omar Sharif-Yes? Over my head it goes. Whoosh! 🤔🥴

               Mr. bwoeh is a huge progressive rock fan. Especially british progressive rock bands from the early 1970s.

            2. I consider “Tales from Topographic Oceans” to be one of the greatest albums ever made.

            3. I could never understand Bridge. Hearts and Spades, those I can play (maybe not well, but I can play them). I knew some people who played Bridge in college, and I could only call it Calvincards, because it seemed like they were making the rules up as they went.

            4. I too found those bridge columns baffling. I was quite open to card games in general; my family was into poker and cribbage and whatnot. But I just couldn’t make any sense of bridge.

               It was the same feeling I get when I hear about cricket. My understanding of cricket begins and ends with “kinda like baseball”. But the details are bizarre. “England beat Pakistan 289 to 147 by 35 runs with 16 overs and 3 and a half wickets.” Ummm… okay. (Though I imagine this is also what baseball sounds like to Europeans.)

            5. BWOEH: You are a fan of “Yes”? You mean the progressive rock band? I’m afraid I don’t understand the reference. Bridge-Omar Sharif-Yes?

               Oh yeah. I think the first album of theirs I bought was “Close to the Edge,” after WXRT played the 18-minute title track. I still have most of that album committed to memory, and listen to it without the need for earbuds or bluetooth whilst riding my Harley across the great prairie.

               The connection between Yes and the bridge column in the newspaper is that I could recognize both Yes lyrics:

               A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace

               And re-arrange your liver to the solid mental grace.

               And achieve it all with music that came quickly from afar,

               And taste the fruits of man recorded losing all against the hour…

               (First four lines of “Close to the Edge,” from memory… and when I checked them I corrected one typo)

               …and the bridge column

               I then took two tricks by ruffing in dummy

               …as being made of real English words (every word there is found in the OED), arranged in recognizable and grammatically correct English syntax, and whose meaning was still utterly opaque. Yes lyrics are a stream of images that come together to create at most an impression, not a specific meaning; Omar’s bridge column was a stream of sentences about a game whose rules and point I did not understand… and would never learn by reading his column.

               BC: I consider “Tales from Topographic Oceans” to be one of the greatest albums ever made.

               Also the album that caused Rick Wakeman to leave the band (for an album or two). I read a story (I think in Rolling Stone) in which he said he left the band because he couldn’t explain to fans WTF that album was about. I don’t think Anderson knew entirely, either–some months back I happened on a YouTube video about the album in which it was noted the whole “Shastric Scriptures” thing that formed the supposed base of the work was not from the scriptures at all, but from a footnote in a book about a particular guru.

               Still, a great album. I wore out my vinyl copy, bought a CD, and am now looking for a used vinyl copy just because the ritual of dropping the needle on vinyl is more appropriate for the brew club’s planned “Say Yes to Beer!” night, when we intend to gather with a variety of brews and several platters’ worth of Yes.

            6. It’s interesting that Rick Wakeman left after TFTO, because he’s typically a player associated with bombast and flair. TFTO on the other hand features some of his most subdued playing (which I think is wonderful, and shows he’s much more than a showboater). The end of the record, in particular, is so very un-Wakeman-like that it’s truly wonderful.

            7. @beckoningchasm

               Mr. bwoeh has always been a fan of live albums. He says, his favorite Yes album is ‘Yessongs’. Three records in one. His favorite keyboard player of all-time is Rick Wakeman.

               —————————

               @Green Luthor

               My parents had a board game called “Auto Bridge”. It was referred to as Bridge solitare. Bridge was different, but never really got into it.

               In high school, our card game of choice was euchre. I had three study hall periods my senior year so I played it a lot. One study hall for homework and two for cards.

               As adults, our friends liked playing a card game called ‘Nerts’. It is a version of team solitare that depends on speed. The game action can get fast and violent. Teams of two supply their own card deck.

               ——————————-

               @Banana Jr. 6000

               LOL. I know what you mean about Cricket. They take tea breaks and it seems as if the matches go on for days. My Dad had a book titled, ‘The Rules of the Game‘. I read the entry on cricket and still didn’t understand the game.

               —————————-

               @Hannibal’s Lectern

               I get it now. Progressive rock lyrics can get pretty strange.

               Mr. bwoeh prefers vinyl too. When we were first married he would often take a 15 mile detour after work to visit a store called ‘The Record Exchange”. A store that dealt in new and used LPs. It would not be unusual for him to buy a dozen or more used record albums in a single visit. Most times the LPs only $2 or $3 apiece (late 1980s prices).

               Me, on the other hand, I like playing a song on Pandora and let the app choose the subsequent songs. I’ve discovered a lot of interesting bands that way.

               —————————

               Sorry to be so verbose. I gave up wine for lent… which ended yesterday. Woo hoo! Another glass for bwoeh.

               🍷🍷🍷🥴😵 Cheers! 🤟

               Happy Easter. 🐰🐣🐥

         2. I’m sure on some level most of us SoSFers feel some sense of betrayal.

            “Betrayal” isn’t the word I’d use. My reaction is more like sadness, at watching a man’s skill deteriorate in real time. Like watching Mark Wohlers trying to pitch in 1997.

            1. Sadness? Pity for TB? Perhaps I’ve been misinterpreting your tone. I don’t mean to offend, but your comments often seem to imply you’re quite angry at TB.

               —————————–

               Major league baseball in 1997? Please don’t talk to me about the 1997 World Series. That one almost killed me. Tony Fernandez picked a bad moment to forget how to field a ground ball. What a goat. Of course, the Marlins haven’t done jacksh*t since 1997. Deep hatred!

               If I remember correctly, Mark Wohlers unceremoniously ended his career with my Indians.

            2. The Marlins also won the 2003 World Series, so I would argue they’ve done at least one thing since that game. Granted, it was by buying a bunch of free agents they let go five minutes later because they couldn’t afford to keep them, but that still counts as a win. The analytics era would have loved Wayne Huizinga.

               I’ve actually been thinking about my tone lately, because I probably come off as angrier than I actually am. I have nothing personal against Tom Batiuk. I just think he’s a complete egomaniac who absolutely sucks at his job, and should have been fired at least a decade ago. I have a certain enmity towards people who fail upwards. That may come from my Miami sports fandom (SEE: Wannstedt, Dave).

               As for Mark Wohlers, he may have ended his career with Cleveland – I don’t even remember. If you were a Braves fan like I was, his deterioration was painful to watch. Trading him to another team was an act of mercy. By the end, people were cheering him just for throwing a strike, like he was some kind of special needs kid. I’ve heard of Steve Blass Disease, but to watch it happen to the long-missing piece of my team’s puzzle was just cruel.

            3. You’re an Atlanta Braves fan? Remember 1995? I do!😭 The Indians won a record number of games that season only to prove good pitching beats good hitting.

               Between the Browns losing three AFC championship games in the 1980s and the Tribe losing two world series in the 1990s. Rooting for Cleveland sports teams was an emotional rollercoaster. Not to mention the Cavs inability to get past Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls in the playoffs. 😩

               Despite living in the KC area for more than 25 years, I never really got into the Royals. They only had a half dozen winning seasons while we were there, often finishing in last place. My husband always got Royals home opener tickets, where I usually froze my ass off. The Royals won the World Series the autumn after we moved. I try not to take it personally.

               For some inexplicable reason, the Cleveland Indians/Guardians liked signing castoff Atlanta Braves relief pitchers who were hard throwers and had difficulty throwing strikes. Do you remember John Rocker? Of course you do, but for reasons other than pitching.

               ———————————–

               I’m going to quit here because I have laundry and I’m not even sure you’re going to read this post. It seems every time I get into a commenting mood CBH puts out a new blog. A coincidence I’m sure. 😂

               There are some thoughts and opinions I’d like to share with the group about the current state of comic strips. I hope to post them in the blog’s discussion someday.

               Tom Batiuk was very fortunate.

               Cheers. 🤟

7. Today’s Funky Crankerbean:

   Ralph: Have you been doing those excersises that Cassidy McCarthy told you to do?

   Crankshit: Yes.

   (Crank’s nose grows to the length of a Atari 5200)

8. Best wishes to Batiuk, always fun to remember the full 50 years of content, particularly those 16 years that make up the first era. Even if before my time they’re definitely good reads.

   I’ve gotten the first two of the Act 1 volumes myself, the first as a treat while studying at KSU (naturally their bookstore has signed copies), the 2nd off eBay (sadly no signature despite being bought near Kent). They’re certainly good reads, and I’ve enjoyed the chances I’ve had reading further volumes whenever I got the chance at various libraries.

   Personally would say the Holtron/computer strips are a highlight for me, from what I’ve glimpsed. Was intrigued at its firsts being in the Volume 2 book I got. Apparently there was two of them at the start; the first was replaced for being too quirky, but of course the 2nd was the one that went on to be a Trek nerd. Wonder if that’s part of the deeper lore. Or if directly connected to the Act 2 computer in some way.

10. 

11. 

    Someone had to say it. I know all you perverts were thinking it.

    1. My thought as well. I left a couple comments on this strip about how back in the early days of the internet, I noticed how every comment, purchase, form completion, whatever, finished with clicking a button labeled “SUBMIT,” and made jokes about how I just wanted to make an Amazon purchase, not hire a dominatrix. But that was then, this is now–hardly any of the old “SUBMIT” buttons exist, as programmers (or their bosses) decided it was better for business to put more user-friendly labels like “COMMENT” or “PLACE ORDER” or “CONFIRM APPOINTMENT” on the buttons (notice that the button this composition pane is labeled “REPLY”).

       Typical Batty. Probably noticed the “SUBMIT” links ten or fifteen years ago, filed it away as a future joke, and then didn’t notice how his joke is now hopelessly outdated.

12. Only 24 comments yesterday on GoComics Crankshaft?

    ‘Jack the Moderator’ sure was busy. Wonder what I missed. Oh, well. Shame on me for being late.

13. Yesterday’s Funky Crankerbean

    Keesterman: Ed, shut the fuck up!

    Today’s Funky Crankerbean

    never has a week felt this dull since the “Lillian Bitches About Technology Inside A Fucking Hospital” arc

    Crank: Hey, Pam! Something’s wrong with the damn TV!

    (The TV changes from an ad to this screen:)

    

    (X then breaks out of the TV and grabs Crankshaft by the throat)

    X: READY FOR ROUND TWO?

    (X then tears out Crank’s soul)

    1. nah, sonic.exe wouldn’t bother with Crankshaft, Masky McDeath already called dibs on taking him in with a Desert Bus ride.

       1. What Sonic.exe has in store for Crankshaft is far worse than death (as in X tortures him for all of eternity)

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