I had just gotten in from checking the fall calving cows on Tuesday night (two widdle mini-moos so far!). I was squeaky clean from a shower, in my most hideous comfy clothes, sitting with my laptop, and all ready to pull out one of my stored up Classic Funky Winkerbean topics and snark together a little snack sized post. A bit of vintage sunshine to give us a reprieve from the endless ouroboros author avatar tumblebutt of Batton then Jeff then Batton we’ve been subjected to lately.
I checked the comments first…
I then was figuratively rolling on the floor gagging and trembling and sweating as if I’d just been dosed with some kind of back alley cocktail combination of a pepper spray, stink bomb, and nerve gas, cooked up in the unwashed restroom of a inner city Detroit Taco Bell.
The article BWOEH linked was full of such choice quotes as:
“once I had aged my comic strip characters to adulthood, I could now tackle things that were in the current zeitgeist.”
Implying that before he aged his characters he never tackled current issues. You know, like Vietnam, Watergate, School Busing, Teen Pregnancy, Dyslexia, Michael Jackson, or Jaws.
“Second, I’d forgotten about how I had broached this topic in the past. In Funky, I’d had the comic shop taken to court over some of the comics found in his store. And in Crankshaft, I revealed how not knowing how to read had derailed Ed’s major league baseball ambitions.”
You’d forgotten? YOU’D FORGOTTEN? Do you know how many times you’ve gotten up on your precious soapbox to complain about censorship? Because it’s been A LOT. And I am NOT looking forward to you tottering up your altar steps to your precious lectern once more. I’d prefer if you’d just keep waxing nostalgic over decoder rings and folk bands.
And…to make it THE WORST IT COULD POSSIBLY BE… We’re given a little peek into a future strip.
Son of Stuck Funky 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Now imagine that in 1,372 point Helvetica and you have my response to the long-dreaded return of the Dick with Ears.
Not enough AAAAAAAAs.
I’m surprised that it took him this long to tag Dick Facey in.
Dan Hicks had a song called “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”
Absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder.
And in comics, with an overexposed character, it can work (the Red Skull appeared in *Captain America* #101-04, #114-19, #129, #143 and #148…and got a mention of being behind the Trapster in #108. We didn’t see him again until #182, and it was great to have him back)
There is no joy in seeing Mr. Moore again, and the use of Ray Bradbury’s *Fahrenheit 451* makes me think less of the science-fiction goal of “I don’t try to predict the future, I try to prevent it” than of the Doors at the end of “Roadhouse Blues”:
“The future’s uncertain, and the end is always near…”
The poetry is in the pity, Wilfred Owen once wrote, and he felt that the poet could only warn.
I have a feeling that the Burnings arc will fail to prove that the solace is in the statement of the obvious, however true it is that that “some anvils need to be dropped.”
If Tom Batiuk tried to drop an anvil, it would fall sideways.
I like how Cayla’s nameplate says “Mrs. Moore.” Did Batiuk put that there to remind the audience these two characters are married, or did Cayla put it there to remind Les?
I think both are the case
Batiuk thinks that we have forgotten who Cayla is
Cayla put the “Mrs. Moore” nameplate to remind Les that she exists
He might have forgotten that she was “Cayla Williams” before her marriage.
I’m Peter Reynolds…er, Roberts…and I think this is a baseless canard! No pizza for you, Sparrow! Or coffee, either!
I think it’s her equivalent of a medieval hair shirt
“I wonder why Fahrenheit 451 was banned?” If you type “Fahrenheit 451” into Google it actually SUGGESTS THIS QUERY. (For me, at least.)
The sad thing is, Cayla makes a strong point in panel 3. We make children deal with more and more adult things all the time, but try to protect them from the most basic unpleasantness. You can’t even say “dead” or “suicide” or “sexual assault” on YouTube anymore.
Of course Batty, maverick that he is, won’t touch THAT or similar issues. Instead we will get his usual one sided preaching wrapped in a boring story that tells us very little.
Then Batty will add book bans to his list of weighty topics he explored in his strip.
It’ll be like the CTE story. It starts with a good premise, but becomes yet another round of characters smirking at each other, things that make no sense, and unrelated nonsense. Then he sits back and wait for his Pulitzer Prize.
The fact that this story only exists in the Daily Cartoonist shows how irrelevant Batiuk has become. Even the Medina Pennysaver isn’t promoting his shit anymore.
(Nothing against the Daily Cartoonist; it’s just way too niche compared to Batiuk’s expectations. Last time out, he got coverage in the New York Times and Sports Illustrated.)
CORRECTION: Batty got his puff piece
https://www.cleveland.com/entertainment/2024/08/crankshaft-creator-tom-batiuk-tackles-book-banning-in-comic-strips-latest-storyline.html?outputType=amp
Thanks was getting ready to post this but luckily saw your post.
Good lord what a pile of puffery.
“The book-banning series in Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis’ “Crankshaft” premieres Aug. 26 and runs through October.“
So at least a six-week arc?
“You can read it in The Plain Dealer…”
So “The Burnings” might be people setting their newspapers alight.
I suspect it will be three weeks, then one week of something else, then three more weeks of The Burnings.
Batty must adhere to his “rules of cartooning”, but he also likes to rules-lawyer his way out of them. Stories shouldn’t go longer than three weeks, but if he interrupts with something else for a week, that makes it OK.
You’re probably right. Plus, it would be ‘non-linear’ that way! Which would make it REAL writing, the kind that only people who create comics the RIGHT way can do!
Hell I doubt he’ll even have a side here just some mush mouthed pablum that will eventually drift into his hatred of editors. And smirking lots of smirking. He of course wants to be on the right side of an issue but he can’t be bothered to figure out what that actually is. The gay prom arc being a good example of that.
I posted an image of this building a while back, but I think it’s time to trot it out again.
This is the Central Public Library in Kansas City, Missouri.
A library funded by the government. In Missouri, not a state known for extreme progressivism.
Please note that it features a towering replica of the spine of “Fahrenheit 451.”
Yet we are told that the book is banned.
Hmm.
*Ulysses* was banned in the U.S. from 1922 until the end of 1933. The first official edition had a copy of Judge Woolsey’s opinion removing the ban.
(Did you read that in your book club, Lillian?)
Henry Miller’s works were banned in the U.K. After George Orwell published his “Inside the Whale” essay on Miller, he had a visit from the police, who confiscated the Miller books he has.
(Apparently, they were very nice about it. They took the books but didn’t arrest him.)
Your picture of the Central Public Library makes me want to fill in some gaps with Willa Cather (she wrote *O Pioneers!*) and reminds me of the film version of *Fahrenheit 451* from Francois Truffaut ((t is in English).
it’s not entirely successful; however, it has a great touch at the end, when Guy Montag meets “the Living Books” and sees a grandfather passing on to his grandson his book, which is Robert Louis Stevenson’s *Weir of Hermiston.*
Why do I like that? Because Stevenson didn’t live to finish *Weir of Hermiston.* Thus do we realize that all books are precious, be they complete or incomplete.
Elsewhere I quoted “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and a snarky variation on that is “absence makes the heart grow fonder of someone else.” Perhaps that will be the ultimate reward of this *Crankshaft* arc.
It’ll get me to read something else.
There’s a Willa Cather Library not far from where I live. She’s a big deal here in Nebraska.
As well she should be, based on what I’ve read, despite being born in Virginia and dying in New York.
Joanne Woodward has a great affection for Cather’s *Lucy Gayheart,* so perhaps I’ll start there.
The last book I finished was Gypsy Rose Lee’s *Mother Finds a Body* (not recommended), which had an introduction from her son Erik Preminger. Preminger noted that Lee’s mother made her give away a book when she bought home another.
My stepmother imposed a similar rule on my father. She does her reading through the public library.
Erik’s father was the director Otto Preminger, who sometimes acted, as you’ll see in “Stalag 17” and on the 1966 “Batman” TV series, where he was Mr. Freeze. (Because I am not Tom Batiuk, I note that the other two actors who played that role in the series were George Sanders and Eli Wallach.)
Citizen State Farm, former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger played the part later.
“Like a good neighba, State Farm is there…”
Today on Crankshat: Wow. How much longer can Batty maintain this constant level of sexual tension? It’s like “Moonlighting,” but with David and Maddie being played by Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche.
What I remember best from “Trading Places” was that Don Ameche ands Ralph Bellamy (playing the Duke Brothers) make an elaborate bet for a negligible stake ($1).
Skip Rawlings is probably old enough to remember when “ameche” was slang for a telephone. Watch “Ball of Fire” sometime and let Sugarpuss O’Shea (Barbara Stanwyck) explain it to Bertram Potts (Gary Cooper).
She’s much funnier than I’ll ever be.
(Bellamy, for what it’s worth, gets a nod in “His Girl Friday” when Cary Grant tells someone to keep an eye on Bruce Baldwin, who “looks like that guy in the movies…Ralph Bellamy.” There’s a good reason for that, Archie Leach!)
They also had a very funny cameo in Coming To America.
Well, except that Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche had screen presence. And the writers of “Moonlighting” could create compelling moments….
Maybe it’s more like two members of the now-elderly writing staff of “Moonlighting”, acting out a script Don Ameche once found in Ralph Bellamy’s garbage can?
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
This week is just a whole lot of nothing, just two old boring bastards having a conversation with each other
“Boring old bastards talking about nothing anyone but Tom cares about” is the strip’s whole raison d’etre.
Depending on how and when GoComics launches their archive of the FW strips, there could be a lot to snark about on how they present the “classics”. I’m not sure how Crankshaft’s coloring worked but I feel like however GC redid them was far from the original standard. Are they taking so long with Funky because they’re redoing the colors all over again? How MS Paint-esque is their job going to loo, I wonder?
And I predict, after nearly a 12-year absence, Roberta Blackburn will appear. She’ll most likely play the straw woman she played in the 2012 “Gays at the prom” story.
We won’t learn how she got down from the scissor-lift, will we?
(No, Annie Wilkes, that doesn’t mean that Tom Batiuk is a dirty bird.)
Based on recent past work, I think it is fair to say that there are many themes that are too adult for Tom Batiuk…
IT BROKE NEW GROUND!!!!
Was this done with AI? I was looking at Leonardo AI the other day and it can make comic book style images from photos,etc.
No AI involvement. My results using AI have been disappointing. Some folks can get amazing results, though. There’s a YT channel, Xinferis TV, that has some really stunning imagery.
I dont think BeckoningChasm uses AI for artwork
This is terrific.
LOL he “forgets” topics he’s “broached” in the past. “Broached”…yeah, I guess, sort of, in a way. He also forgets his characters’ histories, and sometimes even their names and/or their ethnic background. I always wondered if BatYam kept any sort of personal journal to use as a reference guide when he sat down to bang out his fifty-two new stories on the second Tuesday in January. But clearly, he does not. Thus Roberts becomes Reynolds, Summer goes to college for eleven years, and Lenny alternates between being white and black.
Seriously, though, the guy really is a piece of work. He puts a degree of thought into talking about this stuff that vastly outstrips the degree of work he puts into the very thing he’s talking about. And you just don’t see that a lot among sane people. He can’t possibly really believe the endless torrent of bullshit he spews, but I think he does. I personally think he should have gotten into local politics years ago, as he’s just so painfully sincere and humble, even when he’s clearly lying and/or babbling. He’d have been a great mayor of a medium-sized Ohio suburb or something.
After binge-watching the “Good Witch” series, it would be amusing to see Tom Batiuk run against Martha Tinsdale for Mayor of Middleton.
Stay out of Blairsville, though, Tom.
Fahrenheit 451 is an interesting choice. Bradbury’s own history with his work is one of adaptation, both of the text (from more than one short story) and of his stated reasons for having written it (from the 50s to the 90s). At first, he seemed to say it was about government banning; later he cited “political correctness” and personal anti-intellectualism. In blaming both authoritarian edict and individual avoidance of challenging literature, he ran the gamut from Orwell to Aldous Huxley, really.
It will be interesting to see just how badly Batiuk misses all these themes. Especially the criticism of adults who reject in the most definite way, subtle and disturbing ideas for the simplest, most spoon-fed ideas. Hard to square that with a cast of characters who treat super-hero komix as the highest form of literary achievement.
For sure. With Batty the blame always falls on the usual suspects: the intolerant Roberta’s. But what about the intolerant Les Moores who want to ban The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn? Books get banned for lots of reasons, but Batty won’t explore that.
I think the bigger issue is the overall decline in reading due to people spending too much time watching TikToks, YouTube, etc. Batty won’t touch that topic either since he isn’t interested.
The puff pieces don’t tell us who the villain is going to be. I bet it’ll be like the gay prom kids. The people who drive the entire story will show up for one day, and then never be seen or mentioned again.
Yep, there will be some new Roberta. With the internet, it is tough to ban anything, information is freely available. But in Batty’s mind, the internet doesn’t exist. He should be more worried about the overall decline in general reading amongst the youth, but again, this story is about him, not the kids.
I came up with the perfect Burnings antagonist.
Ed Crankshaft.
One of the two puff pieces had the gall to say that Crankshaft is set in a school, equating it with Funky Winkerbean in that regard.
But the only school-related activity we ever see in Crankshaft is Ed preventing the children from going to the school. Which seems like a much bigger threat to literacy than a comic book that’s banned only in Iran, or an adult book whose themes are outside the understanding or interest of elementary school children.
You could almost make a comic-book supervillain out of Ed. “My baseball career died because I didn’t learn to read, so you’re not going to learn to read either! I’ve got to win that bus driver traffic jam contest!” He’s practically got the supersuit already: red jacket and trucker hat.
The comic books Batiuk worships – and the comic strips Batiuk himself wrote – had villains with much dumber motivations and backstories than that!
Batiuk just loves the word “zeitgeist”. What a tool.
I also love how Davis is such a bad draftsman. His blocking is atrocious as he has Les turn fully away from his wife in the middle of a conversation for no reason at all. Imagine how uncomfortable and bizarre that would be in an actual conversation.
I’m also sad, because I felt that Les would be kept as a weird sort of mythical creature in the Crankshaftverse, – never shown but often referred to obliquely – and this shows that that prediction was wrong. Of course, I should have known that if Batiuk was going to tackle book-banning in high schools, of course he was going to have Les participate. He can’t help but portray Les as wise and above it all. But I predict, and my predictions have been faulty recently as noted above, that Batiuk will have someone else do the “heavy lifting” here, with Les offering some sad tepid support, spouting truisms, that show that he was right all along but doesn’t expose him to backlash. I also predict that the “heavy lifting” mentioned in the previous story will be doing some “heavy lifting”, to turn a silly phrase. It’ll probably be someone just saying “book banning is bad!” and never go any further than that. There will be no further examination of the issues at hand. It’ll just be some broad, dumb declaration and Batiuk will then proceed to spend the rest of the sequence backpatting himself over how right he is. Past is prologue, after all. But then, my predictions haven’t always been on the money.
It gets worse. From his puff piece that BJ links to above, we find out that Lilian will be beatified and take her place in the Holy Trinity, alongside Les and Lisa. She, not Ed, will defend the good.
I gotta hand it to Batty, he sure knows how to create loathsome characters. He also loves big words, but totally misses the actual implications of such words. Zeitgeist as he uses it implies the spirit of today, but Batty is always 50 years behind the times. He is the most disconnected from today’s zeitgeist than anyone I know.
Batiuk talks like the Pointy-Haired Boss from Dilbert. He’s constantly shoving buzzwords into things without knowing what they mean.
But at least the pointy haired boss was funny!
Although like Batty, never intentionally.
Cayla: “I wonder why ‘Fahrenheit 451’ is on the school board’s ‘Not Approved’ reading list?”
Les: “Because some people think its themes are too adult for the students.”
Cayla: “Thank you, Captain Obvious!”
Cayla: “I wonder why ‘The Necromicon’ is on the school board’s ‘Not Approved’ reading list?”
Les: “Because some people think itsyeeEEEEAAAARGHH!” as otherwordly tentacles pull his pathetic human meat into another dimension. The book vanishes.
Cayla: “Well, it could be that, too. Boy I hope there’s fresh coffee in the break room, La da dee, la dee dah…”
Cayla: I wonder why this “Sonic.exe” game is on the school board’s not approved list?
Les: Because some people-
Les gets cut off by some twisted parody of Sonic, who tears Les’s soul out of his body, and then starts singing while killing Cayla and everyone in the school
“Sonic”: I’LL MAKE, YOU PLAY, ALONG, IN TIME WITH ME AS SOON I’LL BREAK, THAT SPACE, YOUR HEART, I SHALL SET FREE
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Ten of the Most Boring Interview, Ever: This week just sucks, I just want the Byrnings to happen so we won’t have to see Batton and Skip rambling on and on
I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that The Burnings will feature Skip interviewing Lillian.
related to the Batiuk verse: some more dumb edits of mine
The Daily Bleak
Hated Author Found Dead Inside of Abandoned House
My version of the Most Boring Interview, Ever (Feat. Batton Thomas and Skip Rawlings)
Oh, there NEEDS to be a Funky Winkerbean fighting video game.
Best finishing move: Lisa gives YOU cancer.
Jim Kablichnick -> Kablichnick J. -> Kabby J -> Gabby Jay
It all makes sense now!!!
Cooked something up in preparation for something greater:
Crap, hit Enter too early
“That burning you feel? It is shame.”
Now that’s a burning I can get behind.
“I wouldn’t want to see any of my books getting banned, and I’d like to support other authors.”
F 451: Literally the most anodyne of books he could choose to ban. Because–it’s about BANNING BOOKS! That’s bad! The book was written like, 2 years ago!!
Your books aren’t selling because they’re banned, Tom Tom. They’re not selling because no one wants them.
“Other authors.” I’m sure they’re lining up at your next imaginary book signing, Tomsturbator. “Your books SOOO inspire me!” sighs Sylvia Plath, holding a tank of propane. “Me as well!” swoons Hemingway, having bought his box of Lisa’s Story Branded Shotgun Shells.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Eleven of the Most Boring Interview, Ever (Feat. Batton Thomas and Skip Rawlings): Make this stop make it stop make them stop talking oh gawd make them stop
I’m pleased the Daily Cartoonist link I posted gave the SoSF community something to talk about.
I have to confess, I haven’t read the entire article yet. I can’t stand the bragging and pretentiousness Batiuk brings to a puff-piece interview. He has to play up to his own ego because nobody familiar with his work will. Tom loves him some Tom.
Has AI evolved to the point where I can ask it to summarize an article simply by providing a web url?
What I found hilarious about the article is the comment section. Nobody is discussing Batiuk or his alleged upcoming magnum opus. Batiuk is completely ignored in the comments. The commenters are discussing a decades-old story arc from a far superior comic strip, Peanuts. LoL
Yup. Thank you ChatGPT for sparing me any unnecessary suffering.
Lovely. A summary paragraph free of Batiuk’s yammering.
Is ChatGPT trying to tell us that what he writes about sparks others to build on it to create a science of behavioral-patterned algorithms that will one day allow us to recognize humanity as our nation?
Google translate needs a new language to translate from. “Pretentious Git” to English.
Gibberish to English?
Batiukese to English?
Ass Clown to English?
Related to the Batiukverse: more chienposting
Les: They should stop that or else they’re going to have to have a week’s worth of detention.
Ha ha its funny because Mooch/Sir Nuts-A-Lot broke a window with his backpack
OH GOD CHIEN’S EXPRESSION IN PANEL 2 LOOKS A LOT WORSE OUT OF CONTEXT
Is she your favorite FW character?
Yes, along with Wally Winkerbean
She’s my favorite character. Yes, I managed record stores back in the 90s, so I had many coworkers and customers like her.
But also because she’s a <i>character</i>. For me, she pretty much marked the point when TB stopped writing “personalities” and replaced them with “Tom avatars praising other Toms” and NPC’s blandly reciting “Whatcha Doin’ Dad” or setting up highly unlikely, laborious puns. There are likely Minions with better defined traits decorating your Grammy’s Facebook posts.
It’s amazing how close this is to actually being funny.
Everyone is banging home runs in SOSF on this post.
1. Kudos to Be Ware of Eve Hill being the quote hub for ComicBookHarriet. She earned that honor.
2. Nobody bangs them, slangs them, and manga them like billthesplut. You are a grisly perfection.
3. Yet I must always be the local curmudgeon. To quote Anonymous Sparrow: I come to praise Tom Batiuk, not to bury him. EVERYTHING we all have said about Tom writing an 8? week’s long arc is absolutely going to come true in the worst way possible, beyond our hopeless imaginings. Yet now I must quote Be Ware of Eve Hill in her most optimistic pinings: Yes! Tom has made 1,000 horrible, disgusting meals in a row, but number 1,001 meal just has to be great.
Well, if BWOEH can dream, so can I.
4. We know Tom writes what might be easily referred to as dreck, but on such an indecipherable level. Inside himself, he knows it. He also knows he is, I dunno, 76 or 77. He ain’t got much time left. He wants to write ONE MORE good story. This is the chance he is taking: to be remembered and talked about. So he brings out his favorite big guns: Les and Kablichnick. However, I bet that Funky himself will NOT make an appearance. Did I read from one of you that TB is going to hook up Lillian with Crankshaft in this arc? Praise the Almighty that TB is limited to only 3 panels of honeymoon photos!🤮
[an aside (you may prefer to eschew it!): several weeks ago, TB had the fiancé of Lillian’s sister canoeing into the lake. I really thought TB was signing off. Retiring. Then I remembered that he wrote is off a year ago. Bummer.]
5. An optimistic quote from Anonymous Sparrow that catches our yearning for a great 9 week arc expressing all the joy of 50 years following Tom Batiuk.
To die, to sleep—
No more—and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep—
To sleep—perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub!
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death
The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
*Aye! There’s the rub. That Tom reaches deep and writes for the ages an arc that makes us weep, and bids him a welcomed good night, as we bear those ills we have.*
*that darn Be Ware of Eve Hill is so darn poetic!
SP:
“O from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!”
Eight people die in *Hamlet* before the tragedy concludes. Have that many died in *Funky Winkerbean*?
I have a feeling it’s more: Lisa, Coach Stropp, Bull, Livinia, Danny the client (not to be confused with Danny the Street from *Doom Patrol*)…
Aww, the heck with it, as the Vault-Keeper would say.*
*
As he does in “Star Light, Star Bright,” the opening story in *Vault of Horror* #34.
Have that many died in *Funky Winkerbean*?
Sam (Apple Ann’s friend), Saint Lisa, Bull, Mary Sue Belvins, Les (Twice in dreams), Darin (in a dream), Rana’s biological family, Coach Stropp, Bull Bushka, Bill Collins, Livina, Cell Phone Girl, Elenor the Organ Lady, Lucy McKenzie, Rose Murdoch, Homer the Dog (maybe), Helen Meckler (I have no idea when she died), Zanzibar the Murder Monkey (possibly old age), Butter Brinkel, Valerie Pond, Funky’s mother (possibly), John Darling, Beanball Bushka, Timothy Meckler, Pop Clutch
(Holy shit, that’s a bloodbath)
i forgot to add Danny Madison
CSRoberto2854:
Thank you for looking into this!
Greil Marcus once wrote of John Irving’s *World According to Garp* that it was one of the few American novels he could think of with a higher body count than Dashiell Hammett’s *Red Harvest.* (Marcus wasn’t sure how many people died in *Red Harvest*: he got lost after the chapter called “The Seventeenth Murder.”)
*Red Harvest* finds the Continental Op concerned that he may go “blood-simple like the natives” of Personville. (Pronounced “Personville.”) Could Mr. Batiuk have already succumbed to such a condition?
(This’ll make the Coen Brothers want to do a “Crankshaft” movie for sure! Frances McDormand will win a fourth Oscar for her performance as Lillian!)
Anonymous Sparrow,
I went online and checked out *Vault of Terror #34*. Vivid art! Two of the story writers were identified: Johnny Craig and Jack Davis. I am guessing that they were also the artists? Both of their work seem very similar to Jack Kirby’s style. Do you know if they ever worked together?
I add blessings to your weekend.
SP:
Johnny Craig wrote and drew his own stories, as a rule. Jack Davis could write (see “Vengeful Sioux” in *Frontline Combat* #15), but generally just illustrated, as he was probably the most prolific artist (war, horror, humor…and even some decent science-fiction at the end).
I’m not sure of a Kirby connection (though Kirby and Davis both did some Western art for Atlas-later-Marvel, it was generally separate). Kirby did work with Wally Wood, another EC stalwart, on *Challengers of the Unknown* in 1958.
Craig went in and out of comics: he worked for Atlas, too, and then went into advertising. In the 1960s, he worked for Warren, where he fit in nicely, and then at DC and Marvel, where he didn’t.
For most of EC’s New Trend, the editors (Al Feldstein and Harvey Kurtzman) scripted. As that was ending, and the New Direction came in, Feldstein generally left the writing to others such as Jack Oleck, Carl Wessler and Otto Binder, none of whom were credited.
Craig edited the last year of *Vault of Horror* and edited one New Direction title, *Extra!*
He did only three stories for Harvey Kurtzman. the last of which appeared in *Two-Fisted Tales* #32. One of the other artists in that issue is someone you don’t associate with EC, but with DC: Joe Kubert! (The story is “Tide.” Kubert returned the next issue for “Pearl Divers,” and bowed out from Entertaining Comcs with “Bonhomme Richard” in *Frontline Combat* #14.)
Thank you for your kind wishes for my weekend.
May yours be, in the phraseology of the Talosians, as pleasant as illusion for Captain Pike and reality for Captain Kirk!
Anonymous Sparrow,
Thank you for the research. Powerful artists. My oldest brother enjoyed EC. I got in later and enjoyed Creepy and Eerie. From those magazines, I remember Steve Ditko doing story and art. I also believe Mr.Frazetta contributed. I was surprised as to Kubert’s participation. DC should have paid him more and kept him in house.
By the way, I am enjoying *the 18th Brumaire*.
I think I might have to break my vow of not reading Crankshaft. Can you imagine the reaction when snarkers feast their eyes upon fresh Les Moore material for the first time in almost two years? It will be the face that launched a thousand quips?
“The Burnings.” Ha! The only thing getting burned will be Batiuk. I look forward to the daily snark fest. I’m gonna get my popcorn ready.🍿
Maestro! A little entrance music for Best Actress Award winner Les Moore!
Be Ware of Eve Hill,
Tell us a little about this appropriate music?
Is it related to “Carmina Burana” in any way?
Related to “Carmina Burana”? Highly unlikely. “Ave Satanus” translates to “Hail Satan.” I thought the piece was appropriate considering the fear and dread most people here feel towards any appearance of Best Actress Award winner Les Moore. He’s a monster. Much worse than creature Universal Studios created.
I am going to continue referring to Les as “Best Actress Award winner.” I hope it catches on. If Batty is going to shower his favorite creation with undeserved gifts, I feel it is our obligation to use it against him.
For example: Oh, Les. That brown suit with a yellow shirt and tie is much too plain. Wouldn’t a designer gown by Versace be much more appropriate attire for a Best Actress Award winner? 🏆👗😘
Batty: Les Moore is too sexy for his cat! He’s so sexy it hurts! I’ve kept him out of Crankshaft because he’s too sexy! Too sexy by far!
Off Topic, or not? Eh, if you read SoSF, you should be reading Stupid Comics anyway. Kinda our job description here, yes?
https://misterkitty.net/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics869.html
I wonder if it’s a parody, trying to mock ridiculous war comics. Not just the ludicrous action, but that super-stilted dialog sure hits the LaGrange point of over the top, “no one has ever talked like this, even when Dangling Pretty.” All it needs to sound super-Tom is if getting to vendo required “climbing a sloping whale’s back,” a thing I sure hope to think out loud while being strafed.
(On Topic: On GC, wherescrankshaft and I decided to LOL. GC didn’t nuke the topic from orbit, just did a surgical strike on my comment about Tomstubation. WOW, someone hates that word!!)
RE: Saturday 8/24’s Funkyshaft:
“That story is going to have to wait for another day“!?!? That “story” was the whole purpose of your furshlugginer interview, Lefty! You were going to do an article about Batton Thomas (Creator of the Once-Nationally Syndicate Comic Strip “Three O’Clock High) and his work on said strip, not his failed attempts at landing a job with DC and Marvel. This would be like getting an interview with Trump and asking him in-depth questions about running the Miss Universe pageant (“I understand you also worked in the White House, Donald, but that story is going to have to wait for another day!” “No worries…as long as Montoni’s has pizzas!”)
If this is really going to continue on the other side of the Burnings I’m going to hit my limit on the arc. I know why we would have weeks of the self-insert being interviewed to get his quasi-biography out, but whether it’s self-indulgent filler or just something that feels important to see before Crankshaft ends it feels so on the nose it feels ridiculous.
You can’t just say “two widdle mini-moos” and not provide photos of them. Especially after this news. I definitely need a palate cleanser after seeing that smirk.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
I’d say the pain is over but since Dick Facey’s presence is soon, The pain is going to keep happening until he goes away for good
This is what it’s going to be. Tom interviewing Tom for a week; The Burnings; Tom interviewing Tom; The Burnings. Repeat until 12/29/24.
“My comics strips will CHANGE THE WORLD!” in FW’s death throes, 2022. I *AM* THE WORLD!” for CS’s pathetic joke of an ending.
What is it about Mitch in particular that Tom has such difficulty in keeping storyline consistency? I’ve said here before that it’s Mitch and Cindy which are the worst for him at this, and the 08/25/2024 entry is merely the latest item in the list.