As I said, it’s the same big boy version of the argument that shielded DHS: “If Mommy wants me to stop reading things she calls juvenile tripe, it has to be worth reading.”
Everything comes back to that, doesn’t it?
Of course it does. His fondest memories were of agreeing with his asshole dad that his mother was crazy to want more than she had.
Love it to bits, CBH!
Meanwhile, not only does Crankshaft’s comment lead us to believe that Mein Kampf, as one of the most banned books around the world, is richly worth reading — it also makes no sense.
There are plenty of things I didn’t want my high schooler reading or doing, and that didn’t mean I was afraid of them.
I didn’t want him drinking alcohol, even though I drink it myself. I didn’t want him looking at sexually graphic material or reading extremely disturbing, violent, or politically extreme books, even though I support the right of adults to do those things. Other parents might draw the line elsewhere, and that is their right as parents.
Society doesn’t allow young teenagers to drive cars, vote, get married, or take out a mortgage. Older teenagers are not allowed to smoke or drink. No one is “afraid” of cars being driven, but most sane people realize that some things are inappropriate for certain age groups.
Batiuk acts like age restrictions on anything are a ghastly affront to God and Man. Again, he’s incapable of thinking anything through for more than the split second it takes to parrot some clickbait headline.
Again, we have a not very bright child who refuses to understand fear for his well being.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Thirty Four of The Byrnings
Just let this storyline end, Tom
I can’t take it anymore
Meanwhile in Gil Thorp
It looks like the reality of gil thorp is fading into nothingness or something, because today’s the last day of Rod Whigham’s stint as artist
RIP Rod Whigham’s Gil Thorp
April 7th, 2008 – September 28th, 2024
Related to Ed Crankshaft: For some reason, I think Batiuk based Crankshaft off of Archie Bunker (they’re both jerks and they used to play baseball)
I think we’ve discussed this before, but I don’t see that much similarity between Ed Crankshaft and Archie Bunker.
In particular, one of the first things we associate Archie with is being a bigot, while that is one of the faults that Ed doesn’t have.
And one of the first things we associate Ed with is being physically destructive (driving into mailboxes, setting fires, etc.), something that Archie wasn’t.
I suppose that Batiuk might have thought something like “‘All in the Family’ was a popular show — so maybe a strip about an old guy who constantly uses malaprops in common expressions might be a good idea.” But even if so, I think he took Ed in a very different direction compared to Archie Bunker.
Both Archie and Ed:
Hate their son in laws (Archie was conservative and Mike was more liberal, while Ed hated Jeff for protesting against the Vietnam War)
Were baseball players
are WWII veterans
both live with their children
Archie-exclusive
Is racist, though mellowed out all throughout the series
is more of a Jerk with a Heart of Gold
Had an abusive father
While he has a habit of misusing/mispronouncing words (due to dropping out of school) he’s not an idiot
he was stationed in Italy during WWII
Crankshaft-exclusive:
He was present on the battlefield on D-Day in WWII
He is illiterate, having some form of dyslexia
He’s genuinely stupid, having done stuff that would give him a Darwin Award
He works as a bus driver
He’s a total jackass, enjoys destroying mailboxes and making kids late to school
Treats his co-worker, Lena, like absolute shit
I think the last time this came up, somebody commented that it was Archie and Edith’s house and Gloria and Mike lived with them, whereas it’s Jeff and Pam’s house and Ed lives with them.
Archie Bunker and Ed Crankshaft have some surface similarities. But you can’t really compare them, because the Funkyverse is completely devoid of nuance or consistency.
Archie’s traits, good and bad, were all rooted in who he was. Who Ed Crankshaft is randomly changes from one strip to the next. One minute he can read, one minute he can’t, one minute he’s blowing off children at the bus stop, one minute he’s paying for them to go to college, one minute he was playing pro baseball in the 40s, one minute he grew up in the 50s.
Batiuk ruined Crankshaft the same way he ruined Funky Winkerbean: by thinking he could write serious drama. A dangerous, misanthropic, malaprop-spewing bus driver is a perfectly good character, but Batiuk just couldn’t leave it alone. He had to get into dementia, illiteracy, and other ham-handed crap I’m too tired to remember.
There was nothing wrong with Act I. The problem is that for some reason, he thinks there was.
Anonymous Sparrow
Be Ware of Eve Hill
Cause you both love books:
From Andrew Lloyd Webber…
Love, love changes everything
Hands and faces, earth and sky
Love, Love changes everything
How you live and how you die
Love can make the summer fly
Or a night seem like a lifetime
Yes, love, love changes everything
Now I tremble at your name
Nothing in the world will ever be the same
Love, love changes everything
Days are longer, words mean more
Love, love changes everything
Pain is deeper than before
Love will turn your world around
And that world will last forever
Yes, love, love changes everything
Brings you glory, brings you shame
Nothing in the world will ever be the same
Off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love bursts in, and suddenly
All our wisdom disappears
Love makes fools of everyone
All the rules we make are broken
Yes, love, love changes everyone
Live or perish in its flame
Love will never, never let you be the same
Love will never, never let you be the same
What’s up with the spiderwebs? Is the place supposed to be dirty, is it a Halloween thing, or are those just Batiukian texture lines, like how all the furniture in FW was covered with, uh, small curly hairs?
How scared are people of an elementary school when they blow off children at bus stops and leave them in traffic jams for sport, when it’s their job to transport them there? Fuck you, Ed.
Oh, good news everyone! While most of today is just a colored rerun from the days of Ed’s reading-learning experience when Pam didn’t wear glasses, apparently while Davis didn’t want to give them a big panel, we ARE getting to see a reading protest, finally! Squeezed into a small panel because Davis didn’t want to give them a wide Sunday spread, due to this important flashback, but at least there’s a lot to unpack from the fact they seemed to have show up the same night as the arson attack. Moon still up, the puddle the firemen left still fresh, and Lillian still with a raincoat over her nightdown, but that’s apparently no obstacle to this “No Ray for Kids” crowd that’s shown up to demonstrate en masse at 4 AM, which Ed and Lillian have remained blissfully unaware of the approach of all week.
No doubt there’ll be more brave ground-standing next week. Show me those protest signs, Davis!
My prediction is that Ed will convince the crowd to disperse by telling them the same lesson he learned about the importance of reading, despite having just spend the last week stating that exact same message.
Hell, Ed is on their side. He terrorizes kids from an early age and actively prevents them from getting to school.
Instilling a dread and hatred of school from an early age reduces the chance of kids reading books at all. No books = no objectionable books!
He should lead their coalition, not oppose it.
Okay, I’ve studied Sunday’s strip, and I’m still baffled by so much.
1 — What happened to the sorta-consistent use of sepia tone and prominent photo corners to denote flashbacks? Here we have a completely different style of Ed and Pmm, in color, with barely noticeable photo corners. Even I was confused for a second; imagine how confused casual readers will be.
2 — The protestors show up in the middle of the night, while the puddle from the fire department’s hose is still fresh? Even a flash mob takes longer than that to assemble. Who the hell are these people?
3 — Personally, if I were protesting anything and found out that someone had just committed arson for my cause, I’d stay the hell away from that location for a while. I certainly wouldn’t run there with a posse and start screaming and vandalizing the place. Just seems like a good way to get yourself to the top of the suspects list.
4 — This is NON-CANON for the After Times as foretold by TimeMop and shown in the Final Revelation Strips! We saw Lillian’s sign, hanging from one hook but unvandalized! Tom Batiuk is changing Holy Writ! “For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this [comic], If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the [cancers and CTEs] that are written in this book [The Lisa Trilogy].”
6 — The mob is led by … a man? Not a meddlesome Roberta Blackburn type? Frankie. It’s gotta be Frankie.
I’m going to assume the protesters realized there wasn’t going to be a suspects list, given that the fire department (and maybe the police, if they ever showed up?) have already left without anyone doing any kind of investigation. Despite the fact that the gasoline smell should still be lingering, and there’s nothing to indicate why the stairs would spontaneously combust like that (it’s not like they can just write it off as another one of Ed’s barbecue mishaps, given it’s the middle of the night and there should be some sign of such a mishap in Ed’s yard).
Surely there would still be SOMEONE looking into the cause of the fire, at least in a rational world. But the Batiukverse isn’t a rational place, so there’s no investigation and the protesters can freely gather at Lillian’s with no fear of being suspects, despite openly vandalizing the property, because there probably won’t be any investigation into this, either.
(“We understand your concerns, Ms. McKenzie, but we’re pretty sure you painted the sign like that yourself. You probably just forgot. We’ve heard dementia runs in your family.”)
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Thirty Four of The Byrnings
The protesters are at the house, waiting to burn it down with Lil The Loathsome and Crankshaft the Stupid
Sun 9/28:
A lot of my sense of humor, and general attitude getting through Life, was shaped by discovering Dadaism and the Theatre of the Absurd in high school. But one of my favorite Ebert quotes is “When anything can happen, who *cares* what happens?” Sure, instant murder mob over a 70 year old book, SURE.
Quarter inch from my damn ass, Tom.
Haha, the protestor guy is vandalizing the sign with a bucket and a brush! Did he go down to Sherwin-Williams and pick out a swatch for the mixer to match earlier that day?
Suspect: Williams, Sherman
Motive: Wishes to COVER THE WORLD!
Prosecution AND Defense: “Um, I got nothing. That would be a lot of paint.”
Still Gabby asks, I haven’t followed this strip for long. Is that Crank’s wife in the flashback or early edition Pmm?
Early edition Pam.
Mary, Cranky’s wife, was dead before Crankshaft the comic started.
Thanks
Is this the first actual proof that the protestors exist? I know we saw someone setting the fire at Loathsome Lil’s, but there was nothing to indicate it was actually someone protesting Les’ use of “Fahrenheit 451.” Can we be certain this whole think isn’t a scam concocted by Skip to sell copies of the Centerville Dead Tree Times? Maybe he recruited a bunch of Crankshaft’s former team mates to pretend to be protestors.
Hey, it worked for Barbara Stanwyck.
“Nick! Pete! Jerry! There’s a fire at the Booksmith!”
“BAN THE BOOKSMITH!” they scream, while one holds a sign that says “YEAH, I AGREE!” A Ped Xing thing holds a sign that says “NO fahrvergnügen VWs!” (Oh, look it up) Tom—er, LILLIAN—is glad she wore her best martyr suit, because brother, this is going on until Halloween. TOM LOVES HIM SOME TOM
Holy schnikes! Where do I start with TB’s latest fiasco?
There’s no police tape indicating there’s an ongoing investigation into the fire at The Village Booksmith. Lillian and company can just go about their merry way and tromp all over what should be an active crime scene? Did the Centerville authorities just blame the fire on Ed Crankshaft and call it a night? Did they say we’ll pick up the investigation in the morning? Have the investigators simply thrown in the towel?
Fire investigator: (shrugs) Ha, ha. Arsonists will be arsonists. What can ya do? (winks)
Where did this unruly mob come from? Did they spontaneously pop up out of the ground after the firemen left? There’s an excellent bumper crop of faceless straw men in Centerville this time of year.
The unruly mob seems to be awfully well organized. Were they waiting patiently across the street for the firemen to leave? Did they spend time making those signs at home, or did they create them on the spot while the firetruck was there?
Fireman:Hunh. I wonder what those people with the protest signs are up to? Oh, well. You folks have a nice night!
Lillian’s bookstore is in Centerville. Best Actress Award Winner Les Moore teaches his class in Westview. Did the protesters organize a caravan of volunteer drivers in Westview, or did they charter a bus?
A sign posted in Westview:There will be an arson at The Village Booksmith in Centerville tomorrow night to protest their possession of the book ‘Fahrenheit 451.’ There will be a protest to follow. Don’t forget to bring your signs and a nasty demeanor. Refreshments will be served after the protest.
Perhaps I’m wrong assuming these people are from Westview. Do the people of Centerville hate Fahrenheit 451 as much as the people of Westview? Just what is written in the Batiukverse version of Fahrenheit 451 to make it so universally reviled?
Does Ray Bradbury have the same reputation as Adolph Hitler in the Batiukverse?
—————————————
Meanwhile, Best Actress Award Winner Les Moore is snug in his bed in Westview. Miles away from this situation. It seems he knew what he was doing when he had the books moved to Lillian’s bookstore. His choices have put someone else in peril, while he’s far removed from any danger. How cunning. How reprehensible.
Don’t worry, though. He’ll be back to take the spotlight and the credit when everything turns out well.
Oh, how I hate him.
How prescient of me. I created this avatar some time ago. It seems somewhat appropriate in light of the latest events in Crankshaft.
BAN LILLIAN!!!
No, Lillian has to do something convoluted to be “heroic”, when all she really needs to do is call the police. You can’t harass people in their home in the middle of the night. (Or set fires, but we’re way past that point.) See Frisby v Schultz (1988).
That case is a good primer on what makes content restrictions constitutional:
a. the ordinance (which made it unlawful to picket at the residence or dwelling of any individual) must be judged against the stringent standards this Court has established for restrictions on speech in such fora. (In other words, small-town streets were considered a public space, and courts are loath to impose restrictions on speech in public spaces.)
b. The ordinance is content-neutral.
c. The ordinance leaves open ample alternative channels of communication.
d. The ordinance serves the significant government interest of protecting residential privacy.
The Supreme Court judged that a local law against protesting at a target’s home was not unconstitutional.
I’m sorry, Banana Jr. 6000. I reposted my comment on CBH’s 9/30/2024 blog.
Here I am convicting Batty of being sloppy when I didn’t even check to see if there was a new blog. I had the 9/28/2024 blog open in a browser tab and just started merrily typing away. 😳🔫 Sorry, again.
———-
Wow, either you’re well versed in law or excellent at research.
Lillian’s refusal to call the police makes very little sense. Couldn’t she call the police and still make her big speech about whatever she’s going to pontificate about? Does TB think these two actions are mutually exclusive?
Doesn’t TB believe the violators should be punished by the law? Or is that irrelevant to the story he wants to tell? I’m guessing Lillian’s words will shame the arsonist and the protesting mob. The mob will be swayed by Lillian’s words, learn the error of their ways, and blithely go about their lives. Book banning is bad. Book burning is bad. Books are relevant. Writing books means freedom of expression, or something TBD. In TB’s eyes, that’s somehow enough of a punishment. You’re forgiven if you see things his way.
Does TB think Lillian’s actions are somehow more noble because she didn’t call the police? She’s willing to risk her store to make sure those kids get the books? Does her sacrifice somehow strengthen her upcoming speech? Is her speech above such petty things as making sure the perpetrators get punished? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
To be honest, TB is such a lousy storyteller, we have no idea if it ever occurred to him to have Lillian call the police.
People in the other CS discussion are suggesting Lillian protect herself by any means necessary, including the use of firearms. Insert mental image of Lillian firing a shotgun and flying off into a heap in the opposite direction.🤣
I didn’t mean to disagree with you; I just meant that all reasonable means of resolution will be ignored to set up some forced Lillian-as-hero moment. And if we’re really lucky, Les too.
I am knowledgeable in free speech law for a layperson, because I had to take a class in Mass Communications Law in college to get my journalism degree. I continue to find the subject fascinating. It’s one of those random things you learn in college that stays with you. (My other one is astronomy.)
There’s also a part of me that always wanted to be a lawyer. Argument, theatrics, and nitpicking details: I can *totally* do that. 🙂 Though law school that didn’t fit the kind of lazy student I was.
M’wah?!! Disagree? I thought I was supporting your points. I meant to point out the flaws in TB’s sordid tale. How Lillian’s behavior is over the top and nonsensical. I guess I need to work on getting my point across better. I sometimes write too much and the original intent of my message is lost.
I answered primarily because I wanted you to know I read your reply. I thought it would be kind of rude not to answer after pulling stakes and moving my original post to another blog.
How will Lillian resolve this mess of Les’s making? Without a doubt it’s going to be unimaginatively contrived and terrible. I may get a headache from all of the eye rolling I’ll be doing.
Cheers
Counselor BJr6K – minus the classroom learning and your excellent memory, I share a commonality with you as having decided that law school wasn’t for me.
I applied and was accepted, demonstrating at least an interest in and enthusiasm for the law at the time, but at the last minute did not enroll. There should be a learned society for “near-lawyers,” because in my own small way I am intrigued with the analysis and impacts of these decisions you cite so nicely.
Son of Stuck Funky 
As I said, it’s the same big boy version of the argument that shielded DHS: “If Mommy wants me to stop reading things she calls juvenile tripe, it has to be worth reading.”
Everything comes back to that, doesn’t it?
Of course it does. His fondest memories were of agreeing with his asshole dad that his mother was crazy to want more than she had.
Love it to bits, CBH!
Meanwhile, not only does Crankshaft’s comment lead us to believe that Mein Kampf, as one of the most banned books around the world, is richly worth reading — it also makes no sense.
There are plenty of things I didn’t want my high schooler reading or doing, and that didn’t mean I was afraid of them.
I didn’t want him drinking alcohol, even though I drink it myself. I didn’t want him looking at sexually graphic material or reading extremely disturbing, violent, or politically extreme books, even though I support the right of adults to do those things. Other parents might draw the line elsewhere, and that is their right as parents.
Society doesn’t allow young teenagers to drive cars, vote, get married, or take out a mortgage. Older teenagers are not allowed to smoke or drink. No one is “afraid” of cars being driven, but most sane people realize that some things are inappropriate for certain age groups.
Batiuk acts like age restrictions on anything are a ghastly affront to God and Man. Again, he’s incapable of thinking anything through for more than the split second it takes to parrot some clickbait headline.
Again, we have a not very bright child who refuses to understand fear for his well being.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Thirty Four of The Byrnings
Just let this storyline end, Tom
I can’t take it anymore
Meanwhile in Gil Thorp
It looks like the reality of gil thorp is fading into nothingness or something, because today’s the last day of Rod Whigham’s stint as artist
RIP Rod Whigham’s Gil Thorp
April 7th, 2008 – September 28th, 2024
Related to Ed Crankshaft: For some reason, I think Batiuk based Crankshaft off of Archie Bunker (they’re both jerks and they used to play baseball)
I think we’ve discussed this before, but I don’t see that much similarity between Ed Crankshaft and Archie Bunker.
In particular, one of the first things we associate Archie with is being a bigot, while that is one of the faults that Ed doesn’t have.
And one of the first things we associate Ed with is being physically destructive (driving into mailboxes, setting fires, etc.), something that Archie wasn’t.
I suppose that Batiuk might have thought something like “‘All in the Family’ was a popular show — so maybe a strip about an old guy who constantly uses malaprops in common expressions might be a good idea.” But even if so, I think he took Ed in a very different direction compared to Archie Bunker.
Both Archie and Ed:
Archie-exclusive
Crankshaft-exclusive:
I think the last time this came up, somebody commented that it was Archie and Edith’s house and Gloria and Mike lived with them, whereas it’s Jeff and Pam’s house and Ed lives with them.
Archie Bunker and Ed Crankshaft have some surface similarities. But you can’t really compare them, because the Funkyverse is completely devoid of nuance or consistency.
Archie’s traits, good and bad, were all rooted in who he was. Who Ed Crankshaft is randomly changes from one strip to the next. One minute he can read, one minute he can’t, one minute he’s blowing off children at the bus stop, one minute he’s paying for them to go to college, one minute he was playing pro baseball in the 40s, one minute he grew up in the 50s.
Batiuk ruined Crankshaft the same way he ruined Funky Winkerbean: by thinking he could write serious drama. A dangerous, misanthropic, malaprop-spewing bus driver is a perfectly good character, but Batiuk just couldn’t leave it alone. He had to get into dementia, illiteracy, and other ham-handed crap I’m too tired to remember.
There was nothing wrong with Act I. The problem is that for some reason, he thinks there was.
Anonymous Sparrow
Be Ware of Eve Hill
Cause you both love books:
From Andrew Lloyd Webber…
Love, love changes everything
Hands and faces, earth and sky
Love, Love changes everything
How you live and how you die
Love can make the summer fly
Or a night seem like a lifetime
Yes, love, love changes everything
Now I tremble at your name
Nothing in the world will ever be the same
Love, love changes everything
Days are longer, words mean more
Love, love changes everything
Pain is deeper than before
Love will turn your world around
And that world will last forever
Yes, love, love changes everything
Brings you glory, brings you shame
Nothing in the world will ever be the same
Off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love bursts in, and suddenly
All our wisdom disappears
Love makes fools of everyone
All the rules we make are broken
Yes, love, love changes everyone
Live or perish in its flame
Love will never, never let you be the same
Love will never, never let you be the same
What’s up with the spiderwebs? Is the place supposed to be dirty, is it a Halloween thing, or are those just Batiukian texture lines, like how all the furniture in FW was covered with, uh, small curly hairs?
How scared are people of an elementary school when they blow off children at bus stops and leave them in traffic jams for sport, when it’s their job to transport them there? Fuck you, Ed.
Oh, good news everyone! While most of today is just a colored rerun from the days of Ed’s reading-learning experience when Pam didn’t wear glasses, apparently while Davis didn’t want to give them a big panel, we ARE getting to see a reading protest, finally! Squeezed into a small panel because Davis didn’t want to give them a wide Sunday spread, due to this important flashback, but at least there’s a lot to unpack from the fact they seemed to have show up the same night as the arson attack. Moon still up, the puddle the firemen left still fresh, and Lillian still with a raincoat over her nightdown, but that’s apparently no obstacle to this “No Ray for Kids” crowd that’s shown up to demonstrate en masse at 4 AM, which Ed and Lillian have remained blissfully unaware of the approach of all week.
No doubt there’ll be more brave ground-standing next week. Show me those protest signs, Davis!
My prediction is that Ed will convince the crowd to disperse by telling them the same lesson he learned about the importance of reading, despite having just spend the last week stating that exact same message.
Hell, Ed is on their side. He terrorizes kids from an early age and actively prevents them from getting to school.
Instilling a dread and hatred of school from an early age reduces the chance of kids reading books at all. No books = no objectionable books!
He should lead their coalition, not oppose it.
Okay, I’ve studied Sunday’s strip, and I’m still baffled by so much.
1 — What happened to the sorta-consistent use of sepia tone and prominent photo corners to denote flashbacks? Here we have a completely different style of Ed and Pmm, in color, with barely noticeable photo corners. Even I was confused for a second; imagine how confused casual readers will be.
2 — The protestors show up in the middle of the night, while the puddle from the fire department’s hose is still fresh? Even a flash mob takes longer than that to assemble. Who the hell are these people?
3 — Personally, if I were protesting anything and found out that someone had just committed arson for my cause, I’d stay the hell away from that location for a while. I certainly wouldn’t run there with a posse and start screaming and vandalizing the place. Just seems like a good way to get yourself to the top of the suspects list.
4 — This is NON-CANON for the After Times as foretold by TimeMop and shown in the Final Revelation Strips! We saw Lillian’s sign, hanging from one hook but unvandalized! Tom Batiuk is changing Holy Writ! “For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this [comic], If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the [cancers and CTEs] that are written in this book [The Lisa Trilogy].”
6 — The mob is led by … a man? Not a meddlesome Roberta Blackburn type? Frankie. It’s gotta be Frankie.
I’m going to assume the protesters realized there wasn’t going to be a suspects list, given that the fire department (and maybe the police, if they ever showed up?) have already left without anyone doing any kind of investigation. Despite the fact that the gasoline smell should still be lingering, and there’s nothing to indicate why the stairs would spontaneously combust like that (it’s not like they can just write it off as another one of Ed’s barbecue mishaps, given it’s the middle of the night and there should be some sign of such a mishap in Ed’s yard).
Surely there would still be SOMEONE looking into the cause of the fire, at least in a rational world. But the Batiukverse isn’t a rational place, so there’s no investigation and the protesters can freely gather at Lillian’s with no fear of being suspects, despite openly vandalizing the property, because there probably won’t be any investigation into this, either.
(“We understand your concerns, Ms. McKenzie, but we’re pretty sure you painted the sign like that yourself. You probably just forgot. We’ve heard dementia runs in your family.”)
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Day Thirty Four of The Byrnings
The protesters are at the house, waiting to burn it down with Lil The Loathsome and Crankshaft the Stupid
Sun 9/28:
A lot of my sense of humor, and general attitude getting through Life, was shaped by discovering Dadaism and the Theatre of the Absurd in high school. But one of my favorite Ebert quotes is “When anything can happen, who *cares* what happens?” Sure, instant murder mob over a 70 year old book, SURE.
Quarter inch from my damn ass, Tom.
Haha, the protestor guy is vandalizing the sign with a bucket and a brush! Did he go down to Sherwin-Williams and pick out a swatch for the mixer to match earlier that day?
Suspect: Williams, Sherman
Motive: Wishes to COVER THE WORLD!
Prosecution AND Defense: “Um, I got nothing. That would be a lot of paint.”
Still Gabby asks, I haven’t followed this strip for long. Is that Crank’s wife in the flashback or early edition Pmm?
Early edition Pam.
Mary, Cranky’s wife, was dead before Crankshaft the comic started.
Thanks
Is this the first actual proof that the protestors exist? I know we saw someone setting the fire at Loathsome Lil’s, but there was nothing to indicate it was actually someone protesting Les’ use of “Fahrenheit 451.” Can we be certain this whole think isn’t a scam concocted by Skip to sell copies of the Centerville Dead Tree Times? Maybe he recruited a bunch of Crankshaft’s former team mates to pretend to be protestors.
Hey, it worked for Barbara Stanwyck.
“Nick! Pete! Jerry! There’s a fire at the Booksmith!”
“BAN THE BOOKSMITH!” they scream, while one holds a sign that says “YEAH, I AGREE!” A Ped Xing thing holds a sign that says “NO fahrvergnügen VWs!” (Oh, look it up) Tom—er, LILLIAN—is glad she wore her best martyr suit, because brother, this is going on until Halloween. TOM LOVES HIM SOME TOM
Holy schnikes! Where do I start with TB’s latest fiasco?
There’s no police tape indicating there’s an ongoing investigation into the fire at The Village Booksmith. Lillian and company can just go about their merry way and tromp all over what should be an active crime scene? Did the Centerville authorities just blame the fire on Ed Crankshaft and call it a night? Did they say we’ll pick up the investigation in the morning? Have the investigators simply thrown in the towel?
Fire investigator: (shrugs) Ha, ha. Arsonists will be arsonists. What can ya do? (winks)
Where did this unruly mob come from? Did they spontaneously pop up out of the ground after the firemen left? There’s an excellent bumper crop of faceless straw men in Centerville this time of year.
The unruly mob seems to be awfully well organized. Were they waiting patiently across the street for the firemen to leave? Did they spend time making those signs at home, or did they create them on the spot while the firetruck was there?
Fireman: Hunh. I wonder what those people with the protest signs are up to? Oh, well. You folks have a nice night!
Lillian’s bookstore is in Centerville. Best Actress Award Winner Les Moore teaches his class in Westview. Did the protesters organize a caravan of volunteer drivers in Westview, or did they charter a bus?
A sign posted in Westview: There will be an arson at The Village Booksmith in Centerville tomorrow night to protest their possession of the book ‘Fahrenheit 451.’ There will be a protest to follow. Don’t forget to bring your signs and a nasty demeanor. Refreshments will be served after the protest.
Perhaps I’m wrong assuming these people are from Westview. Do the people of Centerville hate Fahrenheit 451 as much as the people of Westview? Just what is written in the Batiukverse version of Fahrenheit 451 to make it so universally reviled?
Does Ray Bradbury have the same reputation as Adolph Hitler in the Batiukverse?
—————————————
Meanwhile, Best Actress Award Winner Les Moore is snug in his bed in Westview. Miles away from this situation. It seems he knew what he was doing when he had the books moved to Lillian’s bookstore. His choices have put someone else in peril, while he’s far removed from any danger. How cunning. How reprehensible.
Don’t worry, though. He’ll be back to take the spotlight and the credit when everything turns out well.
Oh, how I hate him.
How prescient of me. I created this avatar some time ago. It seems somewhat appropriate in light of the latest events in Crankshaft.
BAN LILLIAN!!!
No, Lillian has to do something convoluted to be “heroic”, when all she really needs to do is call the police. You can’t harass people in their home in the middle of the night. (Or set fires, but we’re way past that point.) See Frisby v Schultz (1988).
That case is a good primer on what makes content restrictions constitutional:
a. the ordinance (which made it unlawful to picket at the residence or dwelling of any individual) must be judged against the stringent standards this Court has established for restrictions on speech in such fora. (In other words, small-town streets were considered a public space, and courts are loath to impose restrictions on speech in public spaces.)
b. The ordinance is content-neutral.
c. The ordinance leaves open ample alternative channels of communication.
d. The ordinance serves the significant government interest of protecting residential privacy.
The Supreme Court judged that a local law against protesting at a target’s home was not unconstitutional.
I’m sorry, Banana Jr. 6000. I reposted my comment on CBH’s 9/30/2024 blog.
Here I am convicting Batty of being sloppy when I didn’t even check to see if there was a new blog. I had the 9/28/2024 blog open in a browser tab and just started merrily typing away. 😳🔫 Sorry, again.
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Wow, either you’re well versed in law or excellent at research.
Lillian’s refusal to call the police makes very little sense. Couldn’t she call the police and still make her big speech about whatever she’s going to pontificate about? Does TB think these two actions are mutually exclusive?
Doesn’t TB believe the violators should be punished by the law? Or is that irrelevant to the story he wants to tell? I’m guessing Lillian’s words will shame the arsonist and the protesting mob. The mob will be swayed by Lillian’s words, learn the error of their ways, and blithely go about their lives. Book banning is bad. Book burning is bad. Books are relevant. Writing books means freedom of expression, or something TBD. In TB’s eyes, that’s somehow enough of a punishment. You’re forgiven if you see things his way.
Does TB think Lillian’s actions are somehow more noble because she didn’t call the police? She’s willing to risk her store to make sure those kids get the books? Does her sacrifice somehow strengthen her upcoming speech? Is her speech above such petty things as making sure the perpetrators get punished? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
To be honest, TB is such a lousy storyteller, we have no idea if it ever occurred to him to have Lillian call the police.
People in the other CS discussion are suggesting Lillian protect herself by any means necessary, including the use of firearms. Insert mental image of Lillian firing a shotgun and flying off into a heap in the opposite direction.🤣
I didn’t mean to disagree with you; I just meant that all reasonable means of resolution will be ignored to set up some forced Lillian-as-hero moment. And if we’re really lucky, Les too.
I am knowledgeable in free speech law for a layperson, because I had to take a class in Mass Communications Law in college to get my journalism degree. I continue to find the subject fascinating. It’s one of those random things you learn in college that stays with you. (My other one is astronomy.)
There’s also a part of me that always wanted to be a lawyer. Argument, theatrics, and nitpicking details: I can *totally* do that. 🙂 Though law school that didn’t fit the kind of lazy student I was.
M’wah?!! Disagree? I thought I was supporting your points. I meant to point out the flaws in TB’s sordid tale. How Lillian’s behavior is over the top and nonsensical. I guess I need to work on getting my point across better. I sometimes write too much and the original intent of my message is lost.
I answered primarily because I wanted you to know I read your reply. I thought it would be kind of rude not to answer after pulling stakes and moving my original post to another blog.
How will Lillian resolve this mess of Les’s making? Without a doubt it’s going to be unimaginatively contrived and terrible. I may get a headache from all of the eye rolling I’ll be doing.
Cheers
Counselor BJr6K – minus the classroom learning and your excellent memory, I share a commonality with you as having decided that law school wasn’t for me.
I applied and was accepted, demonstrating at least an interest in and enthusiasm for the law at the time, but at the last minute did not enroll. There should be a learned society for “near-lawyers,” because in my own small way I am intrigued with the analysis and impacts of these decisions you cite so nicely.