Okay, first things first.
Can I say that I am absolutely obsessed with Andy in panel 3 of Wednesday’s Crankshaft?
That is the nervous and determined look of someone trying to beam important information directly into someone else’s brain with the power of eyeline alone. The kind of look you give your best friend when you’re the only one on the crashing airplane who’s noticed there aren’t enough parachutes. Or maybe Andy’s just terrified of Cranky’s flesh colored hair.
I’ve noticed subtle hints that lately whoever is tracing old Ayers art to paste together new Cranky strips has been a tad more free and creative, with redrawing expressions and introducing new props directly from Google Images. And we even got a Pop Clutch memorial sighting on Monday.
I always imagine that in a dark basement apartment somewhere, on an old desktop still running Windows Vista, the Fiver hired freelance ‘artist’ responsible for modern Crankshaft pastes these together in MS Paint, and is constantly fighting the malaise and ennui of thanklessly cobbling together the equivalent of artistic shovelware for a swiftly dying industry. They’re doing a job that will shortly be replaced by AI as comic strips become nothing more than content for pay-to-play websites selling ad space.
And so, person out there, I salute you for your flawed attempt to make this misshapen nightmare different.
I’ll even forgive you for the fact that the garden seeder from last Monday’s strip was pasted from the very first Google image search under ‘Garden Seeder’
Now, back to September of 1999.
After being mostly absent for the Winter, Spring, and Summer of that year, Chien and Ally show back up at the beginning of a new school year. This fits a general trend I’ve noticed. When the Funkyverse starting spending significant time on arcs/characters outside the High School, midway through Act II, school arcs tended to be front loaded to the fall. Makes sense, after all, it coincides with marching band season.
By the end of Act III sometimes the only time we’d be at the high school to check in on Bernie Silver and Malcom ‘Thatsnought’ would be for a week or two in September, and a few odd Sunday strips sprinkled throughout the year.
This September in 1999 we get the Dress Code Arc to start us out. And of the early Chien material this one vibes with me the best.
I guess crop tops are kosher then? But Chien not caring about the dress code at all until it affects her is a solid bit of character work. It fits with her sardonic and pessimistic outlook. Is the ‘two color’ rule stupid? Yeah. But it’s the kind of sitcom stupid I’ll accept.
Another bit of evidence that furthers my theory that Batiuk intended a Pete/Chien ship somewhere down the line. What would be the trendy shiptag name for this? Chiete? GothMope? DroopyDog? Taking suggestions.
And here’s another bit of evidence that furthers my assertion that Ally is a baby Karen, just looking for a manager to complain to. My headcanon is she now works a dead end office job at a minor government agency and micromanages every aspect of the communal kitchen.
Then we get one of Batiuk’s precious, though not often used, conceits: pulling waaaay waaaaay waaaay back on a scene so we can’t hear what is being said.
In this case it’s used so that we aren’t told the plan in boring speech bubbles but instead see it play out and then have it explained to us a few days later in boring speech bubbles.
Given your hair and his eye bags, Ally, I’m guessing the genetic material was some kind of primordial pond moss.
The next strip is interesting because it indicates that this group has indeed progressed to Sophomores. So they were Freshmen for one year, 98-99. Seniors for one year, 06-07. And spent six years as Juniors I guess.
Ha ha! This dumb bimbo doesn’t understand the meaning of the word ‘entrapment.’
Ha Ha! This dumb bimbo doesn’t even understand the meaning of the word ‘hypocritical.’
Gotcha!
I can’t decide how I feel about the way Jess is being treated here by Ally and Chien. She’s the reigning Most Popular Blonde. But she’s never been anything but cheerful and friendly to Ally and Chien. She’s not a Cindy or Sadie narc bully. She’s more of a throwback to Mary Sue Sweetwater as the most popular girl, who also was pretty universally kind.
She shot down Les every time, sure, but I totally count that as an unambivalently heroic act.
Doing the Lord’s work.
I guess Jess is supposed to be the sort of clueless 1% who isn’t malicious but doesn’t really understand the perspective of people lower on the social hierarchy than her. Fair enough. More believable, if less interesting, as the school’s most popular girl, than a cruel narcissistic sociopath with a hair knife glued to her forehead.
I still can’t believe this draconian dress code doesn’t ban crop tops.
This strip is particularly great. Not on its own. On its own it sucks. But it’s great because it shows how worthless, lazy, and terrible Les is at his job. If Les knew the article would get them into trouble why the heck would he let them publish it? He is proof reading their paper, isn’t he? To make sure they aren’t publishing violent, hate filled manifestos.
I mean, the title of this article certainly seems like it’s going to be a hate filled manifesto. Why did he let him publish a title singling out cheerleaders and ‘jocks’ like that? How is poor sweet Bulk going to feel being pilloried as the coddled poster boy of a corrupt regime? He doesn’t deserve that.
Sportos are not an acceptable target, Tom–I mean, Ally. An article pointing out that the dress code makes made wearing jerseys and uniforms verboten would have been enough. The school dress code was poorly written. End of story.
Just in case you’re really confused as to why The Kingpin is screaming at Ally, Bull had his entire football team shave their heads as a team building hazing ritual.
I guess Ally doesn’t know the meaning of the word hypocrisy either.
In case you’re wondering why Fred Fairgood has a ponytail. He was going through a weird midlife crisis at the time and was also riding a motorcycle and wearing a leather jacket.
Remember when the Funkyverse used to have multiple interwoven storylines all intersecting?
Harriet Farms Remembers…
Son of Stuck Funky 
Today’s Crankshaft
Just let Ed explain his solution for the bus situation, Lena
On second thought, don’t even bother because his idea could be 3x as stupid as Rocky’s
I think we’re supposed to imagine that the next thing Ed was going to say was “… let’s have some of the kids sit on the roof of the bus.”
Today’s strip would have worked if the punchline was visual, like if it showed a pile of kids sitting on the top of the bus third-world style. That would make the joke work, and is the right kind of exaggeration for how Funky Winkerbean was in Act I. Making them ride atop the bus is something Act I would have shown, and committed too. Now it’s just an implied joke, which is the only kind the exists anymore.
Even so, it’s better than most ‘Shaft punchlines these days, I did chuckle at the thought. Visuals would definitely punch it up. You don’t even need kids tied to the roof to make the gag work… you could have Ed welding bench seats to the top of his bus or Ed trying to trade his bus in at a car dealership for one of those famous London double-decker buses and the gag would sell.
Per Harriet’s demand:
I know I’ve done this gag before, but I just think the word “edibles” is hilarious. Go ahead! Say it out loud. Edibles. Edibles. See?
I also like the word “bordello”. It’s a hard word to work into a casual conversation, though.
According to a long-ago *MAD* feature about postcards, “bordello” is not Spanish for “railroad station.”
That would be la estación de tren.
Alas, I don’t have enough Spanish to make something alliterative, a la “Bordello of Blood,” for that.
In French, I like “Gare de Grand Guignol.”
”Genitali” is not the national airline of Italy.
Dang autocorrect. Genitalia
Depends on who you hang around with and talk to, doesn’t it?
Bwahahaha! Boomers and their weed! Hilarious!
You write what you know.
My suggestion for a Pete/Chien shiptag name is PeChi.
I recall reading this story arc while attending a school that required uniforms (and had a dress code that required shirts to be tucked in, which I absolutely despised). Let’s just say the story didn’t land with me at the time…
Ally and Chien are well-deployed in this story arc, TB had not had characters who could believably push a story arc like this along since Roland and Wanda (if ever). Their crusade would be pretty good stuff too, if only TB was willing to acknowledge them as being hypocritical and self-serving in the slightest way. Ally seems to care only because it allows her to burnish her “journalism” “career” while also striking back at the popular kids and the non-Les faculty she views as upholding the school social order, and Chien only cares once one of the rules affects her wardrobe specifically. Neither realize that this and other school dress codes are largely aimed at the “popular” kids, limiting the opportunities for the students most apt to show off their worldliness, their social status, or their wealth to do so… something that should be a point in the story.
Ally quoting the STUDENT dress code to Bull being portrayed as some great “gotcha!” finishes the job of derailing what should have been an interesting a relevant high school slice of life story.
Also, I don’t think there is any topping “GothMope”.
But that’s the thing……he doesn’t quite get that they’re being hypocrites despite his writing them that way.
When I was in high school in the 70s, a Popular Blond wore a halter top that tied in the back, at the neck and shoulder blades. Some boy undid the neck knot and flipped it forward. She was not wearing a bra.
The next day, halter tops were banned, and bras were required. One of the 2 students got detention. And if you can’t guess which one, you didn’t go to school in 1976. How come the phrase was never “Girls will be girls!”? (The boy got his own punishment from his peers–“There’s the asshole who stopped halters and required bras”)
I was in grade school in 1976. One day, the class bully showed up with a T-shirt that said “I Choked Linda Lovelace”. None of us knew what that meant, including the wearer, but the principal did, and made him turn it inside out.
Or, for that matter, in 2016.
Thank you for the kind words, sorialpromise.
I know that you love the music and the French language, so I hope this video pleases you. Teenage chanteuse Ava Preston fronts the sixteen piece Swing Era Big Band.
Last night I went to a benefit for Les Delices, a Cleveland Baroque ensemble. The wonderful French mezzo-soprano Sophie Michaux sang this program, accompanied by oboe, viola da gamba, and guitar. It was great!
iansdrunkenbeard,
1. That beautiful singer is a teenager? She and the band are terrific! Thank you. Accidentally I discovered the next music would follow automatically. I did not know videos did that. That was an added treat. Wonderful set!
2. Many years ago I went with friends to UMKC and watched a viola de gamba concert. Heavenly! You brought back many fine memories.
3. You and I are alumni of the first and only SOSF Zoom call. You match your name 100%. Besides us, I remember Mela, Epicus, was TF there? I am sure he was. The Drake of Life was not there, but her lovely twin, the Duck of Death was present. ComicBookHarriet I met. Hitorque explained his name. I believe Be Ware of Eve Hill was there in spirit. I think I loaned her $10. Still waiting.
Ian, thank you again for the music and the French!
You are appreciated.
SP
Ava is an impressive person. She’s been a professional singer since she was 12. She was class valedictorian in 2023 and had enough college credits to enter Kent State as a senior. She’s currently in grad school at Julliard, and I don’t know if she’s twenty yet! https://www.avaprestonmusic.com/ Ava sings with a variety of musicians and combos. This group was one of my favorites.
When videos are put on a YouTube playlist they play in order.
The zoom call was fun and allowed me to put faces to the names – except for those that sat in the dark. ; )
For another French fix, go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q829I5xqd8&list=PLwJGzzuFeH1K1gxwtVOCE9GFrZ3Dnf_Sn&index=1 I’ve been lucky enough to hear Sophie three times.
Au revoir, mon ami!
She’s currently in grad school at Julliard and had enough college credits to enter Kent State as a senior.
For the love of God, WHY KENT STATE???????
iansdrunkenbeard,
Thank you for more info on the talented Ava. I stand in awe of one so young and so focused on her life goals. More amazing, she does it in several languages.
I was talking to a friend of ours, and we were speaking of a particular bordello. (She would call it, a burdel de sangre. So lyrical, this one. The words drip from the lips and puddle upon the neck.) This bordello was known for its edibles. I just call them snacks. Yet the bordello got edibles from sources around the world. Tasty in so many ways.
They eventually went out of business. It seemed they only had 2 rules:
1. Halter tops banned.
2. Bras were mandatory.
I had to stop going. I look stupid in a bra.
Holy cow, could he have used “new student dress code” a few more times? I always loved (hated) how he’d frequently rehash the premise literally every single day, as if his readers would forget that premise if he didn’t remind them at every single possible opportunity. Even back then, Batiuk seemed to assume his daily readers were complete dullards.
as if his readers would forget that premise if he didn’t remind them at every single possible opportunity.
We must agree to disagree! All serial comics do this. Even gag-a-days like Monty, Breaking Cat News, Brewster Rockit! Because–it’s a comic strip! You read it, you forget it! Read 9 Cuckold Lane and…You’ll probably remember. This week, it’s kids aged 6, demanding to know if Mummy had premarital sex! Out of the mouths of babes!
What gets to me is when he assumes his readers know everything, but also nothing, and then he can’t even remember his own characters’ names. It’s Friday, so we get
“Realizing that the jig was up, Redik tries to commit suicide by jumping out a window. The Flash of course saves him, but he has a great attack and dies anyway. The story ends with Cecily visiting and unmarked grave and still vowing revenge on the Flash.”
And like 20 other names from a 40 year old Flash story everyone else has never read. How great was that attack?! The whole thing has so many names you’ve never heard before, but Tom did, so you’re the Philistine. Did Tom ever read Cliff’s Notes? He sure didn’t write them. I can barely understand the recap he wrote.
And this:
“There’s an old idiomatic theatrical saying which says that a gun in the first act goes off in the third. Well the same thing apparently applies to a sensory deprivation tank which we saw in the previous issue.”
Tom thinks that that was said by that guy on Star Trek.
Well, he also doesn’t remember the names of the characters from the Flash storyline he has been recounting. So far, the Flash’s lawyer has been referred to as Cecil, Cecile, and Cecily. (I believe Cecile is the correct spelling.)
Why is Batiuk recounting this Flash storyline anyway (and picking it up in medias res)? I understand that the Flash has been charged with murder … but I haven’t seen anything in Batiuk’s recap about who he is accused of killing or why he became a suspect.
Flash’s lawyer has been referred to as Cecil, Cecile, and Cecily
I caught Celice/Cecily, but just wrote that off to “My name is Cecile, but you can call me…” For instance, when I was charged with a felony, I introduced myself as “William the Splut.”
But Cecil? How did the Flash not say, all Tom-like, “Are you a seasick sea serpent?!” “Mr the Flash, this is a serious court appearance. Please refer to me as–” “I’LL SAVE YA, BEANIE BOY!” (laughs hysterically at his wit, looks at courtroom; no one is laughing, Flash is sent to the Phantom Zone)
Dishonest John offered dirty deeds done dirty cheap before AC/DC formed.
And he offered special rates for Sundays and holidays!
I’m not going to bother looking up the issue, but I assume “great attack” was supposed to be “heart attack” (the sentence might make some degree of sense that way). But, y’know… proofreading is for chumps.
While Batiuk didn’t formalize the phrase “new student dress code” as something he had to call it every single time — a couple of times he just used “dress code” and once “student dress code” — he did use the four-word phrase a lot more often than necessary.
He even used it where it weakened the logic of the strip. In the strip where Ally points out that Bull is wearing a shirt with a logo and writing on it, she calls it the “new student dress code” and is seen in the last two panels holding a piece of paper labeled “Student Dress Code”. If she had just used the phrase “dress code” in that strip rather than “student dress code,” it would have been easier to gloss over the fact that the dress code was for students rather than faculty.
I can’t pick on Batiuk too much for rehashing the premise every day in these strips, simply because that is (or at least was) the nature of printed comic strips: you can’t assume everyone is going to read the paper (and thus your comic) every day, so you have to make it possible for someone to have some idea what’s going on. Much better strips than this used the same technique, albeit they may have been less awkward in the repetitive wording. Nowadays, when people can read the strips on the web, and can readily access the previous strips, it’s not as necessary, but back then…
(It doesn’t explain why, when he made the new Funky strips exclusively for the web, he did the same thing, since it very much wasn’t needed in that medium. But old habits die hard, I guess. And, really, it wasn’t as bad as the fact that his new strips were blatantly contradicting the old strips by having Crazy and Donna with the Eliminator helmet back, AND knowing it was a time travel device. But, y’know… Batiuk.)
HEY, RiffTrax just did a take on THE PHANTOM EMPIRE!
What?! Not that one? Tom will send them a strongly worded letter! If it was that other P-Empire, he’d send a different, angrier one.
https://www.rifftrax.com/the-phantom-empire
Jessica ended up with Durwood. Creeping on her for being a smiling twit is adding insult to injury.
Today’s Crankshaft
that idea’s not gonna work at all
The depressing part is that it might have been a story about awful people doing something nasty for a selfish and stupid reason but it was well told. He lost his touch when he got award envy.
Am I overlooking it,or is Adeela supposed to be plus-size? She is a bit bigger. And do any of you wonder if Becky and Wally are friends,or just mutual get-along exes? He invited her to him and Rachel’s wedding and to his graduation.
Adeela isn’t drawn slim. She’s given a bit of chin, and usually dresses like Act III Holly plus a hijab. I’d probably call her plus size as far as the Funkyverse goes.
As for Becky and Wally, if authorial intent matters I think they’re supposed to be friends. Becky hugs him at his college graduation and invites Wally, Rachel, and Billy to the giant Dinkle Thanksgiving of 2021. That seems a bit beyond exes getting along for their rarely seen and oft forgotten kids.
And do any of you wonder if Becky and Wally are friends,or just mutual get-along exes?
probably still friends (seeing how Becky was invited to the Winkerbean thanksgiving dinner in 2018 along with Rana), though I think that John (I wish nothing but misery for the amoeba-haired obese comic book store owner) doesn’t let Wally see either Rana or Wally Jr. (Wally’s biological son)
It really sucks that we’ve never seen Wally interact with Wally Jr. in the strip since 2011
Wally will never interact with Becky or Wally Jr., because such a relationship is far beyond Tom Batiuk’s writing ability. And he knows it. He couldn’t even be bothered to deal with the aftermath of Wally’s car accident that crippled Becky for life and ruined her music career. Or the discovery that Wally was still alive. Becky would have complex emotions for both of these events, but all she did was throw up her hand and say “oh well, guess I’ll be the new Dinkle now” and “oh well, guess I’ll stay married to this loser and blow off the former love of my life who used my memory to stay sane in captivity.”
So, another John Darling strip has been posted on Batiuk’s blog. I know we’re only seeing the Sunday strips, but it’s usually pretty poorly written stuff, for all the usual Batiukian reasons.
But THIS one. “Battered weathermen”? Oh, ha, ha, look instead of “battered women” or “battered wives”, we can use our the host of our daytime talk show to discuss “battered weathermen”! Whotta laff riot, amirite???
No.
Tom, this wasn’t the least bit funny in 1989. And it’s absolutely unconscionable that you’re posting it without comment in 2025.
Your blog is often an unintentionally hilarious look into the inner mind of a narcissist with a small amount of long-faded talent, and a tenuous grip on reality. Today, it’s something much, much uglier.
Today’s Crankshaft
Ha ha it’s funny because the punchline is that Ed is a fucking idiot
Today’s Crankshaft
Eugene Roberts is back (I thought he rowed away to his suicide in July of last year)
Yeah, I think it’s Eugene too. I’m guessing he spends a week buying flowers to take to Lucy’s grave.
As Lord Bravery once said to his mother-in-law,
(speaking to Eugene, not CSR)
The flower shop is a real location: https://maps.app.goo.gl/5YSsGGHDqpHxYsvv9
Yeah was going to post that along with this bit about Summit Lake in Akron.
Finding someone who remembers Summit Beach Amusement Park isn’t easy. The first parks on the site opened in the late 1880s, including one operated by the Menches Brothers, inventors of the “Hamburg sandwich.” By 1917, Summit Beach Amusement Park opened. Dave Lieberth, Akron historian, vaguely remembers going there once, as a child. And he’s done a great deal of research about the park.
“It is best defined in superlatives. They called it Akron’s ‘Million Dollar Playground’ when a million dollars meant something, in the 1920s. It was the highest grossing amusement park in eastern Ohio. When they built the Crystal Pool at Summit Lake, it was the biggest tile pool in the world: 75 feet by 180 feet. They called their Wisteria Ballroom the world’s largest dance floor, which could handle 5,000 people.”
Most of this sounds like bullshit. For one thing, a million dollars still means something to most of us. And he’s claiming they invented the hamburger? And had a dance floor for 5,000 people? Really? Seems way larger than necessary. And the world’s biggest swimming pool? And was “the highest grossing amusement park in eastern Ohio”? This sounds like a list of marketing puffery and overly narrow superlatives.
RE: Today’s (5/19) C’Shaft:
It’s a sign your comic strip is in trouble when readers cannot tell who a key character is–Ed, Dinkle, or Eugene the rowboat guy–in one of only two panels. The guy dressed like Alan Ladd in “This Gun for Hire” doesn’t seem to have as big a side smile as Dinkleberg, and the nose is missing Ed’s blackheads and is smiling, so it’s hard to say.
At least I know how tomorrow’s dialogue will go:
Man: “Hello…”
Shopkeeper: “How can I help you?”
Man: “Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?”
Shopkeeper: “Oh hi, Ed/Harry/Eugene. I didn’t know it was you. (Pause) Here you go.”
Man: “That’s me. How much is it?”
Shopkeeper: “It’ll be eighteen dollars.”
Man: “Here you go. Keep the change. Hi, doggy.”
Shopkeeper: “You’re my favorite customer.”
Man: “Thanks a lot. Bye!”
Shopkeeper: “Bye bye!”
Today’s Past Batiukverse Storyline: Kara Milstrom leaves Westview for Big Walnut Tech (got the strips through Anna’s Archive) and plans to tell Dinkle about it, but he keeps behaving like a dickhead about it
GODDAMNIT DINKLE JUST LET HER EXPLAIN THAT SHE’S LEAVING YOUR ASS FOR WALNUT TECH
Dinkle:………..YOU FUCKING WHAT!?!? (throws desk at her)
Kara: YOU KEPT INTERRUPTING ME, YOU EGOTISTICAL ASSHOLE! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SO-CALLED REPUTATION AS “THE WORLD’S GREATEST BAND DIRECTOR”! (storms off and slashes the tires of Dinkle’s car)
He treated her like garbage but doesn’t connect his being a swaggering dolt with her baffling disloyalty. He might as well blame his woes ON THE ACCURSED REED RICHARDS!!!
Interesting, giving Dinkle an assistant leads to a classic PI/graduate student dynamic.
Its the sort of thing PHDcomics mined for years, webcomic gold.
CS, 5/20:
Man, but can this guy write a roller coaster ride of EXCITEMENT!
“GASP! Summit Beach Park?! Where they buried–MONSTROBOT?!”
At Summit Beach Park in Medina, Ohio, a massive iron fist bursts through the wisterias! “WHO DARES SUMMON MONSTROBOT from his slumber! Fool humans! My vengeance will never end! Perhaps your pathetic Starbuck Jones defeated me, but now, holy COW, are you going to regret the wrath of–Eww. Get buried in a park under wisterias for decades, and boy do your teeth feel gross. MONSTROBOT shall awaken–and FLOSS! Where’s a toothbrush…?” (grabs a cow and covers it in Crest)
I hope you have enjoyed tonight’s installment of “Bill’s insomnia.”
And we’re back to what Ebert called an idiot plot….one that could have been resolved years ago if the three parties involved weren’t knuckle-dragging simpletons.
Or if they had any ability to stand up for themselves. Eugene should stop going to dead flower shops to buy dead flowers named after a dead ballroom in a dead amusement park to celebrate his dead marriage to his dead love. For the love of God, Eugene, just shove Lillian down a flight of stairs and tell the police she fell. No jury would convict you.
That would require his finding out about the idiotic stunt she pulled….and the ridiculous reason she did it. Lucy wasn’t the one who needed to be the me in lobotomy.
If Eugene doesn’t know the truth that Lillian hid his proposal letter, that makes the story much worse. It means he’s still pining after a dead girl who explicitly rejected him in the 1940s.
It also means that Lucy had no idea he wanted her. Before the dementia took what brains Fifties Doctor didn’t cut out, she thought he was the one who dumped her! We need Murder At The Ballroom Ruins to happen for real.
Well, according to the strip, Eugene was communicating with Lucy in her last days. So who knows what either of them knew or didn’t know. And lord knows Batiuk isn’t going to tell us. The only thing he knows how to do is prop up people to mope, over problems they could have easily avoided.
But what kind of monster would Lillian have to be to keep the truth from them both? She originally did this because she wanted Eugene for herself, which at least made sense as a motive. But then she didn’t take advantage of the situations he created. She just let all three of them be miserable, including letting her own sister have a mental breakdown, rather than admit her misdeed. What an insane, self-destructive level of stubbornness.
Batiuk appears to think that there’s something noble and heroic about passively letting an avoidable catastrophe happen. What a messed-up guy.
It looks like William Frawley is the special guest star in CS today.
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 2 of Eugene Week
“YAWN”
FWIW, I’ve never seen or heard of Wisteria as a cut flower. Does Bats not know that Wisteria hangs in panicles off a woody vine? I suppose anything can be a cut flower if you make extra effort, but I wouldn’t imagine it would be long-lasting.
I know it’s silly to even focus on this, but it’s not me focusing on it — it’s him specifying something (instead of being incredibly vague as he usually is when the topic isn’t his favorite midcentury pop culture), and getting it weirdly “off,” as usual.
And if this is Eugene, he’s joining the Incredibly Spry Centenarians club, along with Ed and Lizard Lil.
The entire goddam comics page is the Incredibly Spry Centenarians Club. I’m beyond sick of characters who are supposed to be 20-50 but have the tastes of 70-100 year-olds.
Remember the Gilchrist version of Nancy? AKA, “I bet Aunt Fritzi has a lot of lower back pain.” Nancy and Sluggo were supposed to be 7 years old in the 2000s, but were totally superfans of Roy Rogers? Not the fast food chain, the ancient TV show Gilchrist watched.
No kid in the 2000s knew who Hopalong Cassidy was. Dude, even in the 60s, NO KID liked westerns. The boys liked James Bond, and the girls wanted to be fashion models like Twiggy. But, well, “Write what you know!” Everyone loves Silver Age DC comics! Everyone listens to old newspapers by themselves! Tom in a nutshell. Accent on “nut.”
Oh wow, just heard Scott Adams has cancer.
As does Biden. I’m sure that in 11 months, Tom will give us a heartfelt tribute to them in an arc about how their slow, agonizing deaths mildly inconvenienced Les.
Or a puff piece in the Akron Beacon Journal about how Lisa would have liked this.
RE: The “school dress code” storyline and Mopey Pete’s Catholic school girl fetish: Only MP would fantasize about a girl by imagining her with more clothes on than what she’s wearing in real life.
Now, that being said, can we please discuss the 500-pound DInkle in the room in the May 21 C’Shaft, where Eugene and Lucy are seen in a strangely Wisteria-free Wisteria Ballroom dancing to the dulcet tones of the Larry Dinkle Orchestra.
Larry Dinkle? Harry is a nepo baby band director? Is this canon from some past FW story, or something Batiuk just concocted for no good reasons?
Looking forward to Saturday’s climax, where the clerk comes back from the hothouse and informs Eugene that they’re fresh out of Wisteria (“Sorry, Squire, not much call for Wisteria ’round these parts!”).