Speaking of Canadian things:
In the last thread, poster csroberto compared Jeff’s behavior last week to that of widely-detested PBS Kids brat Caillou (pronounced KY-yoo). In fact, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers arc so far has been a remake of a story in Caillou. The story is called “Caillou’s Teddy Shirt”, and you can watch the entire 3-minute scene here:
One day, Caillou is dismayed to notice that his younger sister Rosie is wearing “his very favorite shirt,” though the importance of this shirt was never depicted previously. He cries, throws a tantrum, screams for mommy, and says “Rosie is wearing my teddy shirt!” Mommy explains that it’s too small for him to wear anymore, and gives it to Rosie as a hand-me-down. But Caillou doesn’t care, saying “it’s not too small for me! It’s mine!” and petulantly stomps off. Mommy’s reaction is to immediately pull the shirt off Rosie, saying “I need this shirt.” Rosie is understandably upset, but is quickly calmed when Mommy promises to put on her usual shirt.
Caillou puts the shirt on, and it’s much too small now, but Caillou doesn’t care. He tries taping the shirt in place, but that doesn’t work. Mommy brings a family photo album to show Caillou he was wearing the shirt at a much younger age. Then Mommy actually apologizes to Caillou for not asking his permission first, and offers to put it “in a special place to keep it forever.” Caillou gets the idea to put the shirt on the teddy bear.
Which doesn’t solve any of the actual problems. Caillou’s misbehavior was not corrected, Rosie still needs a new shirt, and Mommy has now poisoned the well for hand-me-downs for the rest of the children’s lives.
Last Monday, Jeff was dismayed to notice that he couldn’t find “his Winnipeg Blue Bombers game t-shirt”, though the importance of this shirt was never depicted previously. He doesn’t cry, throw a tantrum, scream for mommy, or petulantly stomp off, because Tom Batiuk would never be that direct. Everything must be implied. So look at Jeff’s face all of last week:
That is not the face of a man who can’t wear the shirt he wants to for a televised football game. That is the face of a man who lost all his documents five minutes before his tax evasion trial. The emotion is way too intense for the stakes.
Note also that none of these pictures are re-used. The emotion being expressed here is so important to Tom Batiuk that every single drawing of it had to be unique. Unlike Batton Thomas’ smug face, which we saw three times in 12 days, and have seen at least three more times since then:
The Crankshaft story then plays out differently than the Caillou story, but it’s still an exercise in appeasing bratty behavior that should have been corrected instead. And even the supremely spoiled Caillou wasn’t gifted a vacation as a replacement for an inexpensive shirt.
Making matters even worse, the Caillou story didn’t take place in front of another adult. Ed seems to be enabling the whole situation, saying “something is rotten in the state of Delaware” about Pam’s shiftiness. He also gloated when he received the reward, even though he wasn’t a party to the proceedings.
There’s also a little bit of a revenge fantasy about it all. It’s well-known that Tom Batiuk has never forgiven his mother for attempting to take away his comic books. This story plays out like a child’s revenge fantasy against a parent who has offended them in some way. And Pam is Jeff’s wife, not his mommy. It’s a little sick, honestly.
There is also question of whether tickets to a football game 1,000 air miles away with your father-in-law is even a good gift. But we’ll explore that another day.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Batiuk doesn’t realize that you can’t have good guys and bad guys when the bad guy is making the most sense. His mother was right. Comic books did rot his brain.
They really did. Tom Batiuk became a successful cartoonist, then slowly threw it away to build a monument to his comic books. And the other juvenile fandoms he refused to outgrow.
And he doesn’t even realise how pathetic and unappealing his author inserts are. When they aren’t smug about being vindictive creeps, you get man babies losing it and being coddled.
At least in Act I, Les Moore was meant to be a vindictive creep. This is just turning into a softball ‘therapy’ session that is nothing but a hug circle of greeting card platitudes.
About how it’s okay to be a resentful little snot who doesn’t realize he’s soft, weak, spoiled and stupid.
Caillou at least had the decency to warn you about what was coming during the “except when I’ve had enough” part of the theme song (well, in the early season, anyways… later seasons swap out the “had enough” tantrum for a scene of Caillou imaging himself as a construction worker).
If only TB would extend the same courtesy.
I’ll be fair to Caillou. He was designed to be a relatable 3-year-old child, as opposed to most pre-school media, which uses anthropomorphic animals. And I think Caillou succeeded at that. He is very believable, to 3-year-olds and their parents. The plot of “mom threw out the child’s shirt she didn’t know was their special shirt” feels like a genuine parenting situation. And it’s probably the right move for a parent to respect the child’s hurt feelings.
The problem is that the creators got way into this idea. You can respect a small child’s feelings without ignoring and enabling unacceptable behavior. But these parents are so hellbent on appeasing Caillou that they’ll sacrifice their other child’s needs to do so. And that’s why American parents hate the show so much. It’s basically training for 3-year-olds in how to act out more effectively.
Why Batiuk thinks this story works for a 75-year-old man is totally beyond me.
You probably weren’t expecting a comment from a Calliou writer, were you? I wrote a few episodes in the show’s later seasons.
Yes, the show was very much designed to be relatable viewing to a very young audience. Unfortunately, in the early seasons, particularly season 1 (which I wasn’t part of at all), the balance certainly did tip far too much over to the side of “Calliou throws a tantrum, but it all works out for him in the end.” But there was a lot of thought and development that went into the characters and the character relationships, even so. The idea was to show kids that it’s natural to have BIG feelings, but that grown-ups don’t model that behaviour. So while kids identify with Calliou, as happens in real life they try to model their behaviour more on authority figures they love and respect. The goal was to show that Calliou’s behaviour was child-like, and the parents were much calmer and pleasant.
It also is crucial for a parent to watch WITH their child — to point out that “I don’t think Calliou is being very nice here.” Or “Isn’t Calliou being silly?” Or “that’s not how we deal with that problem!”
But that particular episode you posted really does miss the mark. A better solution would be for one of Calliou’s parents to point out how much Rosie loves the shirt, how much it reminds her of Calliou, and how it’s important for big brothers to help their sisters grow up. By giving her the shirt, Calliou can teach her about sharing, And that the shirt that he once wore will still remain in the house, and can always make Calliou proud when he sees it…
Anyway, on the later seasons on which I worked, the constant mantra in the writer’s room was “This is the season where Calliou doesn’t whine!” He could still be disappointed, or confused, or scared, or even angry — but we really, really tried to make sure he didn’t whine about it. And we also tried to come up with better solutions to the problems the character encountered.
And yes, every single person who worked on the show joked at some point that Calliou was really a bald little cancer patient, which is why he was treated with kid gloves all the time…
Wow, really? I’m impressed. And I have read that later seasons improved Caillou’s behavior a bit. But I imagine his back catalog and overall reputation were a challenge to overcome.
From what you say, it sounds like the show depended on active parent involvement to give the proper context to Caillou’s behavior. Caillou was meant to be a counter-example, which he’s certainly good at. I get how the show was intended to work, but society has changed so much with how much unsupervised screen time kids get (even back in the 2010s) that the idea seems a little quaint now.
And yes, I’ve also heard the “cancer patient” urban legend. Too bad it’s not true.
Something else was considered as part of the emotional teaching curriculum — but not for the kids who were watching. Parents watching would see that the proper response to their child’s tantrum ISN’T to yell back (or worse, to get violent) … being a calming presence can really help defuse a situation. This was a huge part of the discussion in the creative process … we were trying to get that message across subtextually as well.
And the show was specifically done for educational broadcasters (PBS in the US), who had many strategies for encouraging co-viewing amongst parents and kids. Things certainly are different now — but as much as possible, if you’ve got really young children it’s ALWAYS a good idea to watch what’s on the screen right along with them.
Practically speaking, though, a show aimed at a preschool audience is going to get some percentage of children watching alone without a parent. Or even if a parent is in the room, the parent might not pay attention to the show.
If the show depends on a parent being there to explain that the main character is in the wrong, that seems like a bad idea for young children’s television.
If the show depends on a parent being there to explain that the main character is in the wrong, that seems like a bad idea for young children’s television.
Y. Knott’s comment got me thinking hard about that very question. Are a lot of children’s shows designed around the assumption that there will be a parent present to add context? Mr. Rogers‘ Neighborhood sure wasn’t. Sesame Street sure wasn’t. Blue’s Clues and Dora The Explorer probably weren’t. I hope to God Barney wasn’t depending on active grown-up involvement. The show’s advice that “a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet” desperately needs a couple disclaimers.
If Caillou was supposed to be a bad example all this time, then the show makes a lot more sense. I still find the parents far too lenient, though. You can respect a child’s feelings, and still tell the child their feelings don’t make it okay to hurt others.
There’s a narrator in Calliou that gently explains Calliou’s misbehaviour, and ways that Calliou could improve.
But the message in ANY show for kids this young ONLY gets through if it’s reinforced through co-viewing with a parent who engages their child about the material. This is proven true in study after study after study. It’s not a flaw in the show as designed. The reality is that — because of the way really young kids learn — educational shows for really, really little kids REQUIRE parental involvement if they are to be truly educational. This means that an educational broadcaster (like PBS, or in Canada TVO or CBC) needs to look at strategies that maximize parental involvement at the time of broadcast. And to their credit, they spend a lot of time, energy and resources into making that happen … on their platforms.
Of course, they have no control over episodes that get posted on YouTube. Which IS an issue.
Sesame Street actually spends a lot of time and resources creating material that parents will want to watch with their kids. It’s designed to be entertaining and educational for the kids first and foremost, of course. But a three-year old is not going to care about a celebrity appearance or a pop culture parody … those are little extras to hook the parents. In fact, the show works HARD to make itself a fun co-viewing experience. And kids who do watch with their parents retain an extraordinary amount of the educational material.
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood definitely is designed for kids, and isn’t at all worried about being a co-viewing experience. It’s a nice, pleasant, calming show. As a parent, you could have your kid watch it unsupervised and not have to worry (assuming the kid liked it — not all did.) But, although there was some educational content, do the kids really retain much if they don’t watch with a parent? Studies say … not really.
Blue’s Clues and Dora The Explorer are designed for active kid participation. (So was Barney.) BC and DTE had much more overt educational goals … Barney, not so much. BC and DTE work great, if a parent is there (at least for a few episodes) to help guide and converse with the young viewer. Once the kid is locked into how the show works, parental involvement is less necessary (though ALWAYS appreciated.)
Barney was … problematic. Popular, for a time, but not really a shining example of kids TV at its best.
It sounds like you know a lot about the subject. I’m constantly amazed at what I learn in this community.
Insane what you learn here!
My 4 year old nephew and 2 year old niece are obsessed with Bluey, and so I’ve watched a fair amount of it. You can tell why it’s so popular it’s used to sell everything from baked beans to sunscreen.
The show is watchable for adults and models good parenting to them. The parents in the show are so playful and silly with their kids while still guiding and protecting them. My mom was like, “Why did I get stuck with endless reruns of Barney instead of this?”
Though as someone who grew up on some Barney, it wasn’t complete brainrot. It at least encouraged kids to be creative.
People do tend to forget FAMILY viewing is what’s desired. It’s why they blank out on something fairly obvious about another long-runner: DW is too young to understand what she looks like. People without kids see a demonspawn. I see someone not very bright harshing the mellow of someone terrified that she’s going to pitch a fit about being abandoned on purpose because she can’t mindlessly trail after him into the boys’ washroom.
The “Arthur punches DW” episode is another one that inspires a lot of online discussion.
The Most Controversial Arthur Episode – Did D.W. Deserve to Be Punched?
Of course she didn’t. She’s a not very bright child being not very bright.
OK, so Jff’s wife/mom (same thing in the Batiukiverse) threw or gave away his precious Winnipeg Blue Bombers shirt, because (sigh) women don’t understand, relate to, or respect a man’s very important, life-affirming hobbies. There’s an original premise. As stated above, BatYam is almost eighty now, perhaps it’s time to get over Mom tossing his old comic books. Sigh.
Lynn Johnston is still getting angrier and angrier that her mother offered to show her how to make a pie crust that isn’t soggy. I don’t like the odds of Batiuk’s mommy issues going away either.
Oh is she writing a new series now? Or are they updating the originals still?
She’s doing a series of kid’s books about a poorly designed robot boy and poorly designed robot Farley in a world of poorly designed robots called Allotobotz.
“Farley”? Really? After she killed the dog?
It’s called Dog Bot….but it looks like Wheeljack built MechaFarley.
Oh wow, you weren’t kidding about robot Farley…
Guess what she named the badly designed robot mayor: Mayor Hatterson.
Johnston carried grudges like they came with handles. BatYam’s bizarre grudges against Hollywood, cities, sports, and people from high school were small-time next to hers.
I know. She also lies like the truth would kill her. Batiuk gets facts wrong but not on purpose.
That’s a fairly serious accusation, but I know very little about Lynn Johnston, and I don’t know to what this refers. Could you direct me to some material about whatever incident(s) this may be referencing?
She once accused her son of having a temper tantrum because the local news wouldn’t use his tasteful footage of a suicide as a backdrop for the weather forecast because he sided with his adoptive father during their divorce. Go to the Foobiverse and ask for more examples of her fabulation.
Also, if he lets it go, his DADDY who KILLED ELEVENTY ZILLION NAZIS so a swell kid like him could live in freedom is disrespected and emasculated.
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 7 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
Why isn’t Crankshaft on a no-fly list for doing THIS back in 2013:
Pretty sure, in 2013, someone trying to open the door while in flight was going to be gang-stomped by the other passengers under the assumption that they’re a terrorist. But the Chosen Ones in the Batiukverse are immune to the consequences of their actions.
Someone trying to open the plane door in-flight would be unable to do so, because the cabin is pressurized and the outside air isn’t. That creates too big a difference in air pressure for human strength to overcome.
And yes, that person would be immediately arrested, and face all kinds of nasty federal charges.
This strip is lazy, and stupid.
It’s only of those things that makes the strip terrible. It’s the incongruity. You have it where Crankshaft does things like this largely without consequence, but then we’re supposed to take their minor and relatively inconsequential plots seriously. It’s as if all of That Cranky Guy’s ridiculous stuff is from a dreamscape or something and doesn’t exist in the rest of the strip’s context.
I bet one of them is going to whine about something trivial regarding air travel sometime this week and the whole notion of that makes no sense when something like this can happen on a plane you’re on. The whole context of every incident changes.
The common theme is that the universe bends over backwards to indulge these psychopathic manbabies and their hobbies, whether it’s comic books, property damage, or mourning your wife for 28 years.
I finally figured Pam out today. She’s so used to being Jeff’s mommy, Ed being a grown man confounds her.
Oh, Pam knows very well that Ed is a grown man. Because she’s as dominated by her father as Jeff is by his mother (and his wife by proxy, in her role of “grown-up who lets me have comic books”). When Pam and family toured Kent State in the 90s, she continued to conceal her actual role in the 1970 shootings so not to go against her father’s opinions. Even though 25+ years had passed and Ed’s opinion was clearly judged wrong by the world. Pam also won’t say a word about Ed’s constant destructive misbehavior, which would have bankrupted the family many times over by now.
If I recall correctly, the old goat still thinks it’s Jeff’s fault he and Pam were anywhere near the shootings. If he had his way, they’d have been somewhere out of harm’s way: YELLOWKNIFE IN THE NORTHWEST TERRITORIES. No bloody wonder people in the Commonwealth tell the following joke: “There was a noise like a big wind./Ah….Yanks.”
Also, she should tell the old arsebucket where to go and how to get there. He needs to be told that the world would be better off without him in it.
Crankshaft is just like Dinkle. If he existed, he wouldn’t be “that wacky bus driver” – he would be universally despised. Parents would complain about him blowing off their children every morning, and the children would warn each other to avoid him. And I don’t think Dinkle’s ever done anything as overtly criminal as Ed’s routine interactions with his garden and barbecue grill. And his constant, obnoxious presence would be a major obstacle in Pam and Jeff’s marriage. I wouldn’t let that destructive prick eat dinner in my home, much less live there.
Dinkle did once have a band parent hijack the Goodyear Blimp, among other crimes, to ensure that ABC broadcast the band’s performance at the halftime of a Monday Night Football game. Given this, Dinkle was probably behind the Max Headroom signal hijacking…
The end game would be telling somebody to make it look like an accident. People will buy the destructive nitwit stupiding himself to death and not ask questions about a good thing.
@BTS: Yeah, that qualifies.
What… what am I even looking at in today’s script? Is this meant to be funny? Action? Narrative? Character interaction? Tension?
Summary: They are checking to make sure they have everything they need as they get into the car to drive to the airport. Jff realizes his phone is still charging inside the house.
That’s it. That’s the strip.
Pulitzer nominee, folks.
Speaking of Pulitzers: that <a href=”https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2en7k2e77wo“>NFL office shooting story from this morning</a> is just begging to become a Funky Winkerbean prestige arc. Too bad Batiuk already killed off Bull Bushka; having him die in infamy by shooting up the wrong office would have been perfect for Batiuk’s sick high school revenge fantasies. And it happened in New York, too!
Oh, wait! I forgot! Timemop exists! Nudge! Pulitzer!
Wasn’t it last week that he did a strip where the “joke” was that cartoonists hate the phrase “I don’t get it”? Tom should be more concerned about the strips that make people say “Is there supposed to be a joke in here?’.
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 8 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
the joke is that Jeff can’t remember to bring his phone to save his life
Day 9: The joke is that Jeff has never flown before or seen the inside of an airport.
MSP Airport literally calls a section of the airport “MSP Mall.” Ed is pretty much speaking factually, rather than providing a punchline.
And making an observation about airport retail that was so widely held in the early 90s that a company called “AirMall” opened a publicly-accessible mall in the Pittsburgh International Airport (September 11th changed the public access of the mall, but the company remained in business operating airport retail).
Heck, AirMall has operated the retail in the Cleveland Airport for over 15 years now, which I assume is the airport depicted in this strip and one that TB would be most familiar with. It’s not that this gag isn’t fresh, it’s that it isn’t even a gag at this point…
The airport depicted in the strip is in fact Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport. Note the Prince store, which MSP has, since Prince was a Minneapolis native and a resident of the area for his whole life. (I don’t know how realistic the depiction of MSP airport is, but I doubt there are any other airports with Prince stores.)
There aren’t any direct flights between Cleveland and Winnipeg, so Ed and Jeff would have to make a connection somewhere. Minneapolis and Chicago would be the most likely choices. Presumably Batiuk chose MSP since that was where he connected the last time he went to Winnipeg.
The fact that MSP has a Prince store is by far the most interesting thing going on here. Ed or Jeff being surprised to learn it exist would have been a much better punchline than this sub-open mic night crap.
Tom might have done better to have Ed notice the Prince shop in the airport and mistake it for a merchandising effort by Prince Harry.
Depends on what airline they’re flying. MSP implies they’re flying Delta. If it’s Air Canada, if would be Toronto. If it’s United, Chicago. American apparently doesn’t serve Winnipeg, but if it did it would also be via Chicago.
‘Prince said, “I live inside my own heart, Matt Damon.” ‘
“… and also in a store in the airport.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/07/matt-damon-prince-small-talk
“I’m so famous my hometown airport has a Me Store” is an epic flex.
Well, at least we skipped the “Jeff has to ask Pam for permission while his inner child begs in the background” scene. Though I fear the implication is that permission to attend the football game is part of Pam’s gigantic apology to Jeff for spilling bleach on his team t-shirt. Yes, that is how insane this all is.
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 9 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
Please let the airline that Jfff and Crankshithead be Spirit Airlines
Based on real-life hub cities, it was almost certainly Delta. (Spirit serves Cleveland and MSP, but has no service to Canada.)
With the arc so far, I’m not so much bothered by Jeff & Pam’s relationship being toddler-appeasement based (I don’t quite see it the same way but I definitely see the Les parallels and the hallmarks of Tom letting his most autobiographical characters getting everything they want), but I do find this premise being the launch of the Blue Bombers storyline being a bit of a wet fart.
I’m not sure how much Crankshaft has actually talked about the Blue Bombers beyond the appearances of Jeff’s shirt and some TV shots, so even if it’s recognized enough that the team sent Batiuk VIP tickets I’m not sure how much of his readerbase actually knows or cares what the deal is with this Canadian football team. Feels a bit sudden that we’re launching into the vacation/field trip, and I wonder if there’s readers this week just learning that the team isn’t American. Plus even if it’s just our neighboring nation, there’s a lot of hassle crossing borders these days, so I do wonder how plausible it is to depict a surprise trip that Pam has paid for the prize of without even coming with them.
Plus the meat of the occasion means that it would’ve been more interesting for the first week to be about Pam/Jeff talking about the Bombers and how much going to a physical game would mean to them rather than doing the gag about the spouse ruining her husband’s shirt (though the notion that apparently he lets his shirt get slobbered with dip during his games seems egregious. I try not to let my favorite shirts get stained or ruined, and this guy’s letting his special “game” shirt get “well-used” like that?).
It’s not so much that he doesn’t care how obscure his niche interests are as it is that he’s incapable of realizing it. The plain ignorance of the majority of his fellows is experienced as bullying.
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 10 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
My version of Today’s strip:
“Don’t they have oatmeal with prunes?”
Jfff’s smarmy look in both today’s and yesterday’s strips make them so much more intolerable. He’s way too self-satisfied for a guy who’s only on this trip because he whined so incessantly over a missing shirt that his wife bought a vacation for him to get the hell over it.
When Whiny Manbaby Jfff gets home, he should be grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded for 3917392693639 years
God, Batiuk loves that punchable smirkface. The lazier his writing got, the more work his art had to do to sell the joke. It’s so desperate to convince you that “is there any food for old people?” is actually a punchline, that it’s basically self-parody at this point.
Customs guy should have really tested ‘Shaft’s knowledge and asked if he was going to see the Blue Bombers play the Roughriders or the Rough Riders.
Yes, I know that old gag about the Canadian Football League hasn’t been applicable in decades, but I still enjoy it.
Re: “I passed the quarterback test”
Not only was no pun intended … no pun was actually delivered.
The relentless kissing up to anyone who’s willing to acknowledge him publicly really knows no bounds. The whole function of today’s strip is to namecheck the Blue Bombers’ quarterback, in the hopes of getting a reciprocal back-scratch from the team or their supporters.
Anyone want to have a sloppy caricature of themselves in a syndicated comic, complete with a whole arc and several mentions of their name? Just invent some charity, and offer TB some kind of award.
—–
Dear Tom Batiuk:
The Human Fund is proud to announce that our Board of Directors has unanimously voted to award you our 17th Annual Prize for the Art and Craft of Cleverness, Brilliance, and Transcendence in the Performance and Execution of Comic Book Writing (Newspaper Comic Strip Category). This award is in recognition of your “Skip Interviews Batton” arc, a brilliant piece of work documenting a fascinating and criminally underrated and under-appreciated life — yours.
We eagerly invite you to prepare a presentation about your discovery of Flash #123, the rearrangement of your molecules, your thoughts in the airplane as you flew to New York for the first time, the behavior of the receptionist at Marvel Studios, and other riveting topics sure to excite fans and critics alike. We have rented the ballroom in the Puck Building and expect an audience of several thousand. Mayor Adams will be in attendance, and Senators Schumer and Gillibrand have indicated that they expect to attend as well, barring any emergency Senate business. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Senator Schumer told us excitedly. “I really hope he talks about his near-miss, where he was almost head writer for the Spider-Man Franchise.”
Please respond at your earliest convenience, so that the New York art world may begin planning around this gala sellout event of the season.
With deepest respect,
Arthur Vandelay, III
Chairman
The Human Fund
“Money for People.”
I posted on GoComics:
Well, guess what? A commenter in the Crankshaft discussion told me Zach Collaros IS injured and will not play in the next game.🤣🤣🤣
I feel that if you quiz someone about the football team that they’re going to watch in person, asking them to name the team’s quarterback would not be a question that should net a “you’re good” response.
“Oh, you’re from the United States? Well what’s the name of its capital city?”
“Washington D.C.!”
“You’re good.”
–
“Oh, you’re going to the Superman movie? What’s Superman’s secret identity?”
“Clark Kent!”
“You’re good.”
It’s so obvious that it’s one of those things that would work better as an absurdist joke.
–
“Oh, you’re a Star Wars fan? Well, what’s the name of that blond guy on the planet who lives with his aunt and uncle and meets up with those robot thingies?”
“… I…. I don’t know.”
“Damn, I was hoping you would. I’m don’t remember either.”
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 11 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
Airport Worker: Here’s another question: Name at least a few famous Canadians.
Ed Crankshaft: Leslie Nelsen, Ryan Reynolds, William Shatner, Paul, Michael and Brian Dobson, Samuel Vincent Knouth, Brent Miller, Kirby Morrow, Brian Drummond, Cory Monteith, Shawn Ashmore, Evan Fong, Ryan Gosling, Chad Kroeger, Neil Young, Aubrey Drake Graham, Matt Hill, Jennifer Tilly, Eric Bauza, Jennifer Hale, Tabitha St. Germain, Chris Hadfield, Bret Hart, Rocky Johnson, Peter Kelamis, Matt Thiessen, Justin Bieber, Nolan Gerard Funk, Keanu Reeves, Ian James Corlett, Terry Klassen…
Airport Worker: I said to name A FEW, not 30 something people.
“You failed to name a single member of SCTV’s cast. Mounties! Get this hoser outta here, eh?”
Yih an Joni Mitchell what she chopped liver r somethin innit eh?
All will be forgiven, Mr. Crankshaft, provided you can prove to us that when you finally learned to read the first work you completed was either by L.M. Montgomery, Alice Munro or Margaret Atwood.
Mordecai Richler will do in a pinch.
Day Eleven: Ed gets Bomber merch. Is somehow funny.
I mean Day Twelve…..
Today’s Crankshaft
Day 12 of Winnipeg Blue Bombers Storyline
Now Ed got a Winnipeg Blue Bomber hat and he’ll wear it until the storyline ends
Or whenever Jeff watches the CFL.
Why does he do it? Why? He starts off with a premise that can kinda work and then lets it fall apart into incoherence.
In today’s Sunday strip, Ed and Jff talk about weather fronts from Canada that affect Ohioans. Ed says, “So this is where those freezing ‘Alberta Clippers’ come from that we get in the winter.”
Jff replies, “Actually, from here, it would be more like a ‘Winnipeg Windjammer.’ Or a ‘Manitoba Mauler.'”
HAHAHA. But clippers and windjammers are types of ships. and a ‘mauler’ is not. So the joke falls apart. He could have used ‘monitor,’ but, you know, that might have required the tiresome task of thinking and self-editing, so … first thought, best thought! And done.
But I have a question for Ohioans. Alberta is… what, about 1500 miles west of Ohio? Do you actually get cold fronts from that far west? In NYC, we get ours from more convenient provinces, like Quebec and Toronto.
The Weather Channel uses Alberta Clipper for every cold wind heading east.
Thanks. And sorry for the mixup: I know Toronto isn’t a province. I blame growing up in New York County, New York City, New York State. So “nice” they named it thrice. I meant to say Ontario.
Oh. Too bad these things don’t have an edit feature.
Day 13: Whining about cold weather like it’s being done on purpose to bully people.