It’s a New Year, so you all know what that means right?
No, not CIA sponsored regime change in South America! That can happen any time! Just ask General Manuel Noriega of Panama who was deposed in 1990… in January…
Hmm…
Oh right! No politics! Only amazing fanart by New Commenter of the Year: Narshe!
Narshe, you have provided over the last months one of the most interesting and insightful journeys into the Funkyverse I’ve ever read. Thank you for finding us, and thank you for sharing!
But all the old school nitters still hanging around know that January means CBH spreadsheets! And…soon…awards season mayhaps?
So BEHOLD Recurring Named Crankshaft Characters by Number of Strips Appearing In for 2025!
As always flashbacks and people talking on TV count. Photographs do not.
| Ed Crankshaft | 240 |
| Pam Murdoch | 107 |
| Jeff Murdoch | 77 |
| Lillian McKenzie | 57 |
| Batton Thomas | 43 |
| Skip Rawlings | 41 |
| Andy Clark | 40 |
| Ralph Meckler | 28 |
| Rocky Rhodes | 25 |
| George Keesterman | 22 |
| Emily Mathews Reynolds | 21 |
| Mindy Murdoch | 21 |
| Mary Marzipan Cummings | 19 |
| Lena | 19 |
| Harry Dinkle | 16 |
| Pizza Box Monster | 15 |
| Pete Reynolds Roberts | 14 |
| Amelia Mathews Reynolds | 13 |
| Angie | 10 |
| Chris Crankshaft | 7 |
| Pat (Choir) | 7 |
| Mary Jane (Choir) | 6 |
| Bonnie (Choir) | 6 |
| Lois (Choir) | 5 |
| Nancy (Choir) | 5 |
| Eugene | 5 |
| Pickles | 5 |
| Max Murdoch | 4 |
| Hannah Murdoch | 4 |
| Crazy Harry Klinghorn | 4 |
| Walt (BM) | 4 |
| Connie (BM) | 4 |
| DSH John Howard | 3 |
| Ricca (Choir) | 3 |
| Peggy And/Or Lee | 2 |
| Curt Cameron | 2 |
| Mitch Murdoch | 2 |
| Cindy Johnson | 2 |
| Lucy McKenzie | 2 |
| Nate Green | 1 |
| Mayor Bob Kane | 1 |
| Mrs. Johnson | 1 |
| Madam Marie | 1 |
| Max Axelrod | 1 |
| Bingo | 1 |
| Larry Dinkle | 1 |
| Mrs. Lee | 1 |
| Mary Crankshaft | 1 |
This year was thin on Funky Winkerbean refugees. Last year we had Masone Jarre, Cindy Summers Jarre, CauCayla, Boy Lisa, Jess (whose father John Darling was murdered), Flash Freeman, Phil Holt, Funky Winkerbean himself, and who can forget HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED.
Heck even refugees that have earned permanent residency status, such as Dinkle, Mopey Pete, and the Komix Korner turned in significantly less appearances.
If I had to venture a guess, I’d say this was to balance out the multiple, multiple, interminable weeks of Batton and Skip blathering on.
This years entry in the, ‘WAIT HE HAS A NAME?” club included the black Channel 1 News Anchor.
He’s been around forever, but I hadn’t caught a name for him until this dumb strip.
An old Crankshaft regular appearing for the first time in few years was Mayor Bob Kane, the sleazy eternally elected parasite that in 2015 narrowly beat out challenger Ralph Meckler on a coin toss, and Ralph never ever tried again.
Mayor Kane was discussed by the Dale Evans crew for being a drunk driver for a few strips too, but mentions don’t equal appearances. Otherwise little Mitchy would have a couple more tallies in his column.
Appearing in flashback this year was Madam Marie, the county fair Fortune Teller and Hypnotist who has made appearances in both old Crankshaft baseball stories as well as Funky Winkerbean.
And if you’re wondering who the frick Mrs. Lee is, she’s this vaguely Asian looking school teacher.
Her biggest arc I can remember is getting snowed in at the Valentine with an entire schoolbus load of kids back in 2017.
But for some inexplicable reason (diversity?) she scored a seat in the grand finale Christmas panel, beating out characters like Harriet Dinkle and Ann and Fred Fairgood.
Stay tuned folks!
Son of Stuck Funky 
ComicBookHarriet,
What’s in all that Iowa beef (best in the State) that you are eating??? Ed Crankshaft had 240, count them 240 appearances? In Crankshaft????😭😳🤯
67% of the year??? [Have you ever noticed how addictive ¿question marks are???]
So how did “Where’s Crankshaft” get started?
¿¿¿Inquiring minds want to know???
Your obedient servant,
SP
Who is Mary Crankshaft?
Ed’s late wife.
So his wife’s name was Mary, and now he may or may not (depending on the week) be dating a co-worker named Mary?
WHY DO YOU DO THIS, TOM?
I was confused by that too. On the other hand, at least according to the original chronology, when was Ed born? He was playing minor league baseball before World War II, so maybe he was born around 1920. “Mary” was by far the most common first name for girls born in 1920 — it was almost twice as common as the #2 name (Dorothy).
In terms of fiction writing, having Ed’s past and present love interests both being named Mary is not a great choice. But in terms of realism, it’s not that bad — sort of like how Ben Affleck, born in 1972, has been married to Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Lopez, when Jennifer was the most common name for girls born the year he was.
Batiuk frequently violates the One-Steve Limit. The Funkyverse has two Andy Clarks (one of the bus drivers, and a band director friend of Dinkle’s). And IIRC it has two people named Rocky Rhodes (the bus driver who entered the “transfer portal for the bus rodeo, and Corey Winkerbean’s now-wife). Normally this can be a shout-out, an attempt to create an ersatz version of a real person, or there can be a storytelling reason for it. None of that is the case here. It comes off as extreme laziness, and lack of curiosity. Just like everything else in this world.
I put Ed’s birth year as no later than 1919, because the youngest member of the 1940 Toledo Mud Hens was born that year. More than half the team was born in 1912 or before. Which would make Ed the oldest living male on earth!
Yup, she appeared on March 30 via flashback.
Oof! The top 5 in total appearances are nearly as rottenly unlikable as any top 5 from Act III FW. Nearly…
I’m assuming Curt Cameron (oy…) is related to longtime Channel 1 reporter and John Darling (who was murdered) character Minnie Cameron.
Not to nitter, but his proper title is “John Darling, father of Jessica Darling, whose father, John Darling, was murdered.”
So glad to see our venerable New Year’s Spreadsheet and Rogues’ Gallery returning for 2026! Thanks for your efforts, CBH. And agree with the kudos for Narshe!
Is Curt also supposed to be the reporter that was working with Cindy prior to her ABC gig? Because if so, that dude must have shrunk like a balloon after getting off the gas. By Baiukverse standards he was built like a linebacker.
Actually, were Channel 7 and Channel 1 different stations or was it a case of Batty just constantly forgetting what he was calling the local station at any given time?
So the only two Funky Winkerbean refugees in the top ten were… Batton and Skip. Sounds about right, actually.
(I’m assuming Rocky Rhodes is the bus driver, not the maiden name of Corey Winkerbean’s wife.)
Also: there’s a hypnotist in the Funkyverse? Boy howdy, do I have some story ideas for that character!
I wonder if it’ll wind up being necessary to separate the twins into (Adult) and (Child) categories at some point. We’ve already experiences their amazing age-shifting properties and I’m sure Davis will run out of art to “reference” for their adult selves and either have to start going back tthrough old Crankshaft strips or Davis stats “referencing” the wrong characters and suddenly Amelia has gained a lot of weight and become goth.
Maybe they can trade off with Plolly on 9CL
At least we didn’t get much of Les. We did get enough to pin The Burnings on him.
Still not sure what Batiuk was doing with “Mayor Robert Kane”. I mean… it HAS to be a reference to Bob Kane (co-creator of Batman), right? There’s no way anyone that interested in comics puts that name in by accident. And the real Bob Kane was certainly… let’s just say “ethically challenged”. (After he sold Batman, he got a better contract by lying and saying he was underage when he signed the original contract, and for decades he was the ONLY person allowed to be credited with working on ANY Batman comics, even when it was obvious he had no part in writing or drawing them.) But it just seems VERY out of character for Batiuk to make a subtle reference like that. Either he’d be more direct in his accusation (there’s really nothing that ties what the mayor does to what Kane did), or he’d make a fictional character whose story mirrors the real-life person (like Butter Brinkle to Fatty Arbuckle, or Mitchell Knox to Jim Shooter).
So it doesn’t feel like it’s intentional, but it can’t be a coincidence either, right?
(Or could it? Is it possible he came up with the name, and never took the time to think about where he got it from? I suppose “First Thought, Best Thought” Batiuk could have done that. It would mean he didn’t spend even two seconds considering what he had written, but… there’s enough other cases where that would seem to be the case to make it a plausible scenario?)
Today’s Crankfuckery
Pam: Why do I hear a hoard of furious squirrels?
(Suddenly, a horde of squirrels led by Doreen Green/Squirrel Girl break inside the Murdoch Household and beat the shit out of Ed)
1/8: Pam can watch her father buy stuff online. She can pretend she helped Lillian Lizard not put another zero onto Bezos’s net income. What she can’t do is learn anything.
Or do anything.