A Lot of Squawking!

Gosh the last few weeks have been for the birds, eh? Though the feeder box titmouse measuring contest between Lillian and Ed does go way back.

Many of you in the comments on the last post noted that ol Ed Crankshaft really padded out his appearance scores this year. In comparison to last year’s paltry 167 appearances, or 2023’s 206, Ed’s 240 appearances in 2025 almost get him back to pre Funkypocalypse levels such as 2021’s 266 strips.

When I dug into the Panels Speaking numbers, the reason for this bounce back became clear.

Ed Crankshaft	333
Pam Murdoch	144
Batton Thomas	98
Jeff Murdoch	81
Lillian McKenzie	74
Andy Clark	35
Harry Dinkle	26
Lena	25
Ralph Meckler	24
Skip Rawlings	23
Mindy Murdoch	23
Rocky Rhodes	21
Pizza Box Monster	15
Pete Reynolds Roberts	15
Emily Mathews Reynolds	15
Amelia Mathews Reynolds	12
George Keesterman	11
God (Dinkle)	8
Chris Crankshaft	8
Mary Marzipan	6
Eugene	6
Crazy Harry Klinghorn	6
Pat (Choir)	4
Angie	4
DSH John Howard	3
Curt Cameron	3
Walt (BM)	3
Mrs. Johnson	2
Mayor Bob Kane	1
Nate Green	1
Mary Jane (Choir)	1

Batton Thomas blathered on for 98 EXCRUCIATING PANELS. We got five weeks of Batton and Skip interviews, as well as a week of Akron Comic Con nonsense on top of a week of Batton smirking his way through Ed Crankshaft’s complaints.

Yesterday, in response to Dinkle’s meagre 16 strips in 2025, our dearly beloved be ware of eve hill commented, “Could this be a case of Batty reading the comments and giving the audience what they want? Nah.”

But I think there IS something to this.

Driven by his impending mortality and neurodivergent obsession with being completely known and understood Batiuk is bound and determined to let his author avatar spend weeks spouting out a self-aggrandizing autobiography as thinly veiled as Sydney Sweeney’s tits in a sheer, red-carpet special.

But he knows this isn’t what a large portion of his audience expects or wants. We know he knows because he put their complaints in a character’s mouth for his avatar to respond to.

His audience demanded ‘Where’s Crankshaft?” and he gave us Crankshaft. Batiuk made him join the church choir so he could be there. Batiuk made him go with Jeff to the Bombers game. Batiuk wasn’t willing to concede his most precious darling of Batton, but he did toss nearly every single other toy out of the pram to lighten the burden of outrage Batton would bring. A look at the spreadsheet of Where Strips Took Place proves it.

Number of Strips by Location 2025

Crankshaft’s House	130
	Outside	48
	Kitchen	29
	Living room	28
	Cranky’s Room	14
	Computer	5
Bus Barn	41
Montoni’s	32
Dale Evans	27
Village Booksmith	20
Canada	18
St Spires	12
Doctor’s Office	7
New York	7
Margo Lanes	7
County Fair	7
Ohioana	6
Akron Comiccon	6
Batton’s House	6
Centerview Historical Soc	6
Dinkle’s House	4
Westview High	4
Komix Korner	4
Bedside Manor	4
Lilian’s House	1
The Valentine	1
Ralph’s House	1
Channel 1	1

(Some Cranky’s house strips aren’t included in one of the sub categories.)

The Valentine? One strip. Hannah and Max never speak this entire year. Komix Korner? Four strips. No Atomik Komix. Montoni’s number is padded by the stupid interview, if not for that it would have had like 12 strips. Pete and Mindy’s numbers are way down. Bus Barn crew numbers are through the roof.

Like a petulant child who washes his hands while insisting the entire time he doesn’t need to. Like a game developer insisting they’re right and have never been wrong when confronted, only to quickly change the subject and never willingly bring the conversation up again. Batiuk changed his behavior this year while pretending he didn’t need to.