beckoningchasm

Under Pressure

Well, if you’ll recall my baseball talk from yesterday, I think we’ve got another single. It’s funny, goofy in a non-realistic way (wouldn’t a blood-pressure band around the neck kind of kill Funky?), and I do get a kick out of the last panel–Funky’s strangled panic combined with Nurse Greenhair looking at us like, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.” Maybe it’s a double. I really do enjoy that last panel.

So…it’s a good strip, it continues in this week’s surprising “humorous” vein, and it is to be applauded for that reason. It’s just not the topper to the run. (“Topper”? OMG, I’m starting to use Funky Winkerbean terms without even noticing!)

And I have to complain about two things–Nurse Greenhair, for one. At first I thought, “When did Trainer Greenhair find time to get a haircut? She was just pouring oil on Funky’s treadmill not two minutes ago!” I know that Tom Batiuk couldn’t use blue hair, because Superman, but maybe red? Purple? Burnt Sienna? Raw Umber?

Secondly, Mr. Batiuk, when sending out a casting call, you need to emphasize that the actors need to resemble the character. Hiring Jimmy Durante for panel one was not a good idea.

Still, this is another funny one, as far as I’m concerned. Bravo!

Cue “Yakety Sax”

Link To Today’s Strip

Seriously, doesn’t that second panel conjure up images of Benny Hill racing around in fast motion? (Here’s a more appropriate one.) I hereby nominate it for the prestigious BChasm Award for “Funniest Thing I’ve seen in this Comic Strip in Living Memory.” Remember, though–it’s only a nomination.

My (minor) quibble with this one is the word “challenging.” I think what Funky means is “interesting,” or “engaging,” since clock-watching and falling asleep aren’t making the exercise routine more tolerable. “Challenging” would typically mean to a trainer, “harder, more difficult.” Which she has dutifully achieved for him, ha ha ha. I’ll hazard a guess that Tom Batiuk thought “interesting” would be too belittling to the exercise folks, but still–hey, if I can’t find something to pick at, I’m out of a job!

Anyway: the third surprise single from Tom Batiuk means that the bases are now loaded. What will happen tomorrow? Will we get another single, or a foul ball that hurls into the stands and knocks the hotdog out of Sluggo’s hands? Or a genuine grand slam home-run?

Wow. I’m actually looking forward to reading Funky Winkerbean. And they say there are no miracles.

If It Ain’t Broke–

Link To Today’s Strip

–try it again.

Hey, it’s another joke! Well, actually it’s the same joke, but at least it’s a joke. It’s been so long since this strip has featured any jokes that Tom Batiuk is probably kind of rusty at it, so I’m willing to give him a mulligan on this one. Free advice: It might help the “humor” aspect if Funky didn’t look as if he was dying right in front of us in panel two. “Argh, I’m melting, melting! What a world, what a world! I’m also losing even more of my hair!”

As I noted yesterday, working out on the treadmill is very boring…to the point where I’m surprised Trainer Greenhair hasn’t suggested a portable music device of some kind to help pass the time (or at least keep Funky awake). One of the things a trainer is supposed to do, after all, is help you to enjoy exercising. Would a Sony Walkman(c) cassette player be considered evil in Westview? You can actually still find tapes…if there’s a Goodwill store in town.

I’m hoping that tomorrow’s joke (assuming there is one, after all–two in a row is damn rare here, three in a row might shatter the universe) won’t be a third variation on “exercise is boring” but..well, baby steps, man, baby steps.

The Return of the Punchline

Link To Today’s Strip

Hey–what gives? This is actually funny. Not laugh-out-loud funny, or even chortle-inwardly funny, but there’s a definite sense of a constructed joke. A pretty good joke, I have to say.

And it’s even a well-observed joke. I’ve worked out on treadmills, and it’s an unbelievably tedious way to exercise. With some routines, there’s a sense of accomplishment; on a treadmill, you do the same thing you do in real life to go from point A to point B, yet never end up going anywhere.

Most people at the gym–I mean, workout center–tend to have iPods or other media players just to break the tedium. (I used to bring a portable DVD player. A BChasm Exercise Tip: Ahnold movies tend to work really well.)

So, a joke, and a fairly good one. Kudos to Tom Batiuk!

The Sunday Comics Page

Link To Today’s Strip

Here comes more boring BChasm stuff! Sunday’s entry, as usual, was not available before press-time, but I’m sure we’re all craning our necks to look at a comic b0ok cover, with a couple of smirks thrown into a corner. But at least (most of) the artwork should be decent.

I’d like to apologize to Tom Batiuk. In my hasty look at yesterday’s entry, I didn’t see that Holly was clicking along with the rest, raising her bid to meet the rising demand. I thought she was just cringing, and that she won the issue with her initial demand of $10. Sorry about that, Mr. Batiuk.

Last week, commentator Aunt Fritzi noted that I was remarkably boring. The comment got disappeared, but then I Les Moore’d until it was brought back, because Cory Winkerbean. I don’t mind criticism, though I generally prefer it to be helpful or constructive rather than just a flat statement.

Still, I am, believe it or not, human. So while Fritzi’s comment bothered me a bit at first, I soon realized something: she was right. I am boring, especially when writing about Funky Winkerbean.

But let’s face a couple of facts: when a comic strip is deliberately constructed to be as boring as possible, how can one write about it in an interesting fashion? Because I honestly think that’s what Tom Batiuk is doing–making Funky Winkerbean so dull and uninvolving that it becomes critic-proof.

Critic-proof works like this: if you go to see someone’s violin recital, and the musician plays terribly, you can easily say why he was terrible. He was out of tune, he played the pieces too fast, he missed notes–there are objective standards for performance that you can apply. (Unless the performance was intended to be ironic, but let’s not go there.)

Suppose, though, that you’re not watching someone play the violin. You’re watching someone buy a comic book at a drug store. No matter how observant you are…what can you say? “The way he pulled the five dollar bill out of his wallet–that was masterful!” “Yes, but I thought he was too hesitant when he accepted the change–it took all the tension out of it. And when he asked for a bag? My God–talk about getting the fundamentals all wrong!”

See how that works–or rather, doesn’t? Critic-proof, baby, critic-proof.

Besides, Aunt Fritzi, if I may quote a well-known Pulitzer-nominee: “If you don’t like it, then don’t read it!”