We are pleased to bring you, at last, finally, and without further ado, Crankshaft Awards Week!!!
Sponsored by Yondr!
When reviewing the year 2025, one thing unexpectedly struck me.
Bricks!
We here in the Funkyverse Monitoring Community have long kept notice of panel after panel of lovingly rendered or slavishly copied establishing exterior shot, but the carefully plotted rows of masonry were especially chatty this year, leading me to inaugurate a new award.
Outstanding Performance by a Talking Building
Your Nominees…
Unenthusiastic Bedside Manor
Acquiescing Village Booksmith
Investigative Montoni’s
Reminiscing Dale Evans
Public Address Princess Auto Stadium
Depressed Bus Barn
Revelatory Apartment
Home Shopping Home
Sympathetic St. Spires
And the winner….
THE BUS BARN!
I’m pleased as plaster to affix this award to this storied old building, which has seen, sheltered, and said so much since the very first year of Crankshaft.
And while hours of searching has failed to turn up whatever building you were originally based on, while your graffiti has been painted over, some garage door windows lost, and you’ve been lying about your age for at least 25 years…
You remain iconic. Whether your cornerstone was laid in 1921, 1925, 1927, or 1929. Whether you’re tan or red or covered in snow, you have nothing to be depressed about. Take a bow!
Son of Stuck Funky 