So having spent the week hectoring her husband to meet with his absent “bio-dad”, Jessica suddenly seems filled with dread at having to come along with him. Perhaps she knows Frankie’s history after all? Or maybe she’s terrified at the prospect of meeting someone who’s escaped from a fictional prison dimension!
TheDiva
May 16, 2013 at 11:23 pm
PROTIP TO TOM BATIUK: The phrase “talking out of the side of one’s mouth” is not meant to be a physical description.
Yeah, Darin’s smirking so hard in panel 3 that his mouth appears to be trying to escape to the back of his head.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Oh, no this is not going according to plan at all. She better call Frankie and Lenny ahead of time so they’re prepared to provide a good alibi for her after Lenny gives Durwood his columbian necktie.
On the plus side, she’ll have the treat of seeing the disposal of his body in person. Let’s just say the Montoni’s meatballs might actually taste like meat for a couple of weeks.
Jess: “The Phantom Zone?”
Darin: “See, in ‘Superman’ comics, his father Jor-El punished Krypton’s worst criminals by trapping them in ‘The Phantom Zone”, a hell dimension where they were imprisoned forever! And in our dimension, the criminals looked just like phantoms. Of course, that was all pre-Crisis.”
Jess: “Crisis?”
Darin: “Crisis on Infinite Earths was a 12 issue maxi-series back in 1985 that changed DC Comics continuity forever! Well, sort of. It just got rid of the Multiverse. The old one, anyway. But even before they made the first new one, there was still a POCKET UNIVERSE created by the Superman and Legion of Super-Heroes foe the Time Trapper, and THIS had a Phantom Zone too!”
Jess: “….Maxi-Series? Multiverse? Time Trapper? THE OLD ONE?!?”
Darin: “Sit down…I need to get you about seventy years of back issues to properly explain my joke!”
come on bathack,lets wrap this crazy shit up so you can breakout the big story about bio-mom search for comicbook for what his names
Yes ‘us’. YOU were the one who was so determined for him to meet his parent. Why should YOU have a problem being there? There are two alternative ways to view what’s happening depending on whether or not she and Darin know that his father is a rapist.
If the two of them don’t know, then as far as they’re concerned he was an irresponsible person who left a girl with all of those problems and never supported her in any way. Disgusting, but that was decades ago and his presence in town might mean he wants to try to do something right. Under those circumstances, why wouldn’t Darin introduce his wife to his biological father? And why wouldn’t Darin’s wife (who was the one pushing for this in the first place) want to meet him?
If the two of them do know, then they know he committed one horrible crime decades ago. He might have changed for the better in the meantime, but it would still be a painful experience for Darin. Not only was he unintentional, he was the result of a crime. I can understand that Jessica would feel disturbed at the thought of meeting a rapist, but if she’s Darin’s wife and she was pushing for Darin to meet his rapist father anyway then I would hope that at the least she would be willing to be there to support Darin.
But why doesn’t anyone ELSE know? Maybe Darin’s adoptive mother? Or Les? Or maybe some local police officer (even if the statute of limitations ran out I would still want some law around in case it turned out that Frank is a hardcore criminal).
And then there’s that quip at the end. If Darin and Jessica know that Frank is a rapist (even if it’s entirely possible he never did it again*) then this is in no way a funny situation. Darin should be stating that he understands Jessica’s unease, but that he can’t do this without her support.
Lastly, ENOUGH with ‘bio-dad’. It is not anything that would appear in regular conversation. I could see myself using it once sarcastically. It wouldn’t enter my regular vocabulary. If you can’t find a way to fit ‘biological dad/parent/father’ into the panel, find an alternative way of getting the meaning across that doesn’t involve an awkward phrase.
Putting this up for a vote, does ‘bio-dad’ deserve to go into the Batiuktionary?
*And I have to note that with this retcon rape, from what I can tell St. Lisa never went to the police or publicly accused him. This girl was willing to accept the public stigma of being an unwed teenage mother (which wasn’t 1950s bad but was still shameful), but she wasn’t willing to endure the shame of having her rape known so that she could try to stop Frank from ever doing that to another girl?
I say Frankie offers Jess a job with his company. There’s good money in porn. Right?
This is like wading hip- deep through hot tar. By this point, I don’t care if Frankie is the vehicle of Armageddon.
I’m just so tired of this arch that I really don’t care what comes out of the warped mind of TB…..But with that said, the moniker of “rapist” for Frankie is just not right. I mean.. there was no rape ever even mentioned. Frankie & Lisa were teenagers….Frankie the star Football player from Big Walnut Tech simply got it on with a naive dorky teenage girl from Westview in a van. He didn’t abandon Lisa… he was still in high school. Her parents sent her away, disowned her and she properly placed the baby Darrin up for adoption. In other words it was the right thing to do.
So “Frankie the sleaze” okay…but not a rapist.
Just two stupid teens having unprotected sex.
If ya want to talk about parents who abandoned parental responsibilities…how about Les’s Mom & Dad?…or Funky with Cory?… or Fred with Kerry… Those parents were adults after all.
I hope all of next week’s strips feature Darin and Jessica walking downstairs to Montoni’s, still discussing who or what is down there waiting for them. Why kill the suspense now?
I’m seeing an epic beat-down where Jessie kung-fu’s Lenny into submission while Darin throat-chokes a suddenly submissive and explanatory Frankie. Who mewlingly explains that it was never about Lisa, it was always about Darin finding himself. And gaining strength from that knowledge.
Of course, I’m seeing some other comic strip that has nothing to do with Tom Batiuk. But I’m enjoying it a lot more. Ooo–there are cool power-ups!
Bio-Dad, Bio-Dad, Bio-Dad! I’m sick ‘a hearing about this Bio-Dad! I’m house-sitting for my bio-parents as I type this, and when my own father comes back, I’m going to call him “Bio-Dad” just to see how he reacts.
You would think that comic book allusions–particularly ones which are also referenced in popular film adaptations so even people who don’t know Marvel from DC could use them correctly–would be the one thing Batiuk could get right. You would think that.
Right now, this can go a few ways:
1) The “secret journal” storyline
2) A refresher in how he de-flowered Lisa and is still a sleaze
3) Begins with ill intentions but ultimately realizes what a bad guy he was.
Bonus points if his company does porn.
Jessica seems to have lost ten years and gained about thirty pounds in panel one there. Admittedly, in a world where every character is afflicted with Spontaneous Hatchet-Face Syndrome, this shouldn’t come as a surprise, but still.
So “phantom zone” is a comic book reference? So he DID work comic books into this too, as predicted! Pizza, comic books, cancer/Lisa…the FW trinity of boredom.
Coming next week: Boy Lisa & Jessica very, very slowly make their way downstairs to set up the following week’s anxiously-awaited meeting with Bio-Dad, The Suspected Coercer Of The Innocent. Can’t wait!
“Us?”
“Yeah, “Us”. I’d worry that you’d have other things planned at the time, but, shit, it’s not as if you have anything better to do.”
Beady eyed nitpickers should have noted by now Durwood is sporting some Frankie facial characteristics today, what with the side mouth and sharp jawline. Batiuk is a master.
I’m surprised she’s actually not pushing to go herself. I mean she’s all obsessed over her own daddy dearest. And she pushed him like crazy over the biological parents when they were teens. Then she went to meet him when he met Lisa.
Even having a little bit of familiarity with DC canon and knowing about the Phantom Zone, I’m still not sure how it’s relevant. Does… Does Bunky even understand his own quip?
Delivered out of side of mouth: “HERPA DERP DERP COMIC BOOK REFERENCE!”
LOL Batyuck. You must be laughing all the way to the bank churning out this shit for money.
@ Merry Pookster:
Not only does Batcon have to retcon Act I Lisa’s pregancy, he will have to retcon Lisa meet Dagbert in Act II. Lisa clearly tells Dagwood that when he and Jessica ever have sex be sure to use protection–calling Durbert a mistake to his face. Really hard to square that with rape.
TFH sez: Great catch, A HREF! August 8, 2007:
I assume by, “meet us at Montoni’s,” David actually means “go to Montoni’s, drink a cup a joe, then inexplicably leave without meeting us.”
@A HREF: As TFH says, great catch, but (now speaking in the voice of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons): clearly you don’t know what retcon means.
I have to say, I liked it better when Durrhey was drawn with a Pinocchio nose. I guess he stopped lying at some point, and grew a Fat Funky nose like the rest of these horrible townfolk. What causes that? Retroactive inbreeding? Aha! Batominc’s R&D department has invented a new form of retcon: retinbreed!
Regarding “bio-dad,” given that this is Strokey McCancerbean, wouldn’t a better term for them to use be chemo-dad?
Is Lisa telling Jess to stick to oral and anal in that last panel? Have Durwood pull out? So many possibilities.
Gyre:
My guess is Batiuk is going to try to finesse the fact that Lisa never mentioned rape at the time, by portraying her in flashback as being either drunk or faintly resisting, rather than clearly resisting Frankie’s advances. That way he can claim under more modern standards (ones that didn’t take place in a 74 Dodge van) that she was raped because she never truly consented. There will be a VHS tape.
It is just dawning on me how truly, truly awful the sepia-toned “Frankie & Lisa in the van” imagery and dialogue are going to be (in six months or so, at the rate this plot is moving).
When this gaggle all meet downstairs in Montoni’s.. I wonder who will be working…Les never quit did he?
Hey.. May 17th was the last day of finals at KSU…so Summer and Super K should be home soon for the summer
Les has absolutely no financial reason to keep working at Montoni’s, with both kids on full-rides to college, a short car trip away. And two sweet, sweet jobs at the high school with the best benefits in the world (true in CT at least).
If Batiuk does a nostalgic look back in the rape van with those little corner stickers on the panels I will just die.
I should have added, Les also has the massive movie option check. And will stay at Montoni’s so Wally can’t get promoted off the dishwashing gig.
In re. Rusty, my point was that all this still means that Lisa never went to the police. I forget how long the comic’s been running but I think the events were supposed to be in the 1990s. At that time the legal definition of rape would probably be intelligent enough to get the guy arrested. But nope, thanks to Batiuk’s idea of drama Lisa has suddenly been retconned to never doing anything to protect other girls.
if these two ntwits get killed by Frankie and nobody hears them hit the floor, will anyone give a %$#@?
“”if these two ntwits get killed by Frankie and nobody hears them hit the floor, will anyone give a %$#@?”””
1. Well, Funky will be missing out on rent money. But it’s not like he receives rent from them that regularly. So Funky will probably miss them in about two months or so.
2. Mopey Pete will eventually miss Durwood when he has no-one to listen to his stupid writer’s block laments.
3. Since Summer’s been to college, she’s apparently disappeared off the face of the earth. Missing? Dead? Too Wrapped up in her lesbian explorations to give a shit? who knows.
4. Les Moore obviously won’t be missing her, because in Les Moore’s universe the only important person is Les Moore! Well Les Moore and Dead Lisa…
5. Fishstick Annie & Drop Dead Fred appears most likely to be the only people to actually register that both of them are missing. The only thing is that Annie already had bad premonitions of doom before they announced the pregnancy. So I’m guessing Anne will simply automaticaly assume they were killed by a deranged psycho killer anyway. As, for Fred….well the only person that can register Fred’s thoughts is Annie herself..so he’ll also believe that they were killed by said psychopath. Besides, even if we did know Fred’s thoughts…he probably considers Darren & Jessica’s fate a far better fate to the eventual decline that he finds himself in.
“My guess is Batiuk is going to try to finesse the fact that Lisa never mentioned rape at the time, by portraying her in flashback as being either drunk or faintly resisting, rather than clearly resisting Frankie’s advances.”
I wonder if the retro panels showing Frankie ravaging Lisa will have those old-timey photograph-holders in the corners…