Beanie Wanker
December 26, 2012 at 9:47 am
Speaking of [Kent State], do you think BatDreck remembers sending Slumber and Kareesha there? Or did he quietly shitcan that idea after we pointed out that team is something like 2-34?
Our first glimpse of Summer and Keisha as college ‘ballers is a bit of a letdown. We’ve become so accustomed to our girls leading the team, not riding the pine. It’s rather surprising, too, that Kent State’s “Golden Flashes” wear such drab white/black unis. Les tries to relieve the boredom of having to watch other people’s daughters on the court by recalling how he and Cayla met. Cayla, however, is still unable to get beyond Keisha’s perceived slight, and for the second day in a row she earns the stink-eye from Les.
Epicus Doomus
December 27, 2012 at 12:30 am
Les, though, is as intriguingly expressive as ever. What’s he thinking there in panel three? It looks almost as if he’s amused in some sort of smug, all-knowing way. He’s the king of the difficult-to-interpret half-smirk/half-sneer, or “snirk”, if you will. Such a dick.
Yes, always.
Just found out that The Complete Funky Winkerbean: Volume 2, 1975-1977 drops on February 8th and is available for pre-order on Amazon! Something to live for, huh friends?
Son of Stuck Funky 
From the 1/4″ Sports Desk:
Dec 21, 2012
Moores Career High Not Enough for Golden Flashes
Freshman Summer Moore netted a career–high 26 points, but the winning shot at the buzzer rimmed out for Kent State (1-10), resulting in a 51-50 loss at Morehead State (3-9).
The sly sidewards smirks are just out of control right now. It’s like BatTom is just daring us to hate him even more…and I’m afraid his diabolical plan is working. He is boldly finding new ways to make Les even more objectionable, which I didn’t think was possible. Well done, sir.
Lots going on here despite the idiotic dialog about phones and Les’ irritating memories. That brutal hatchet-face Les in panel one, Cayla’s comically mismatched nose in panel three, a suspiciously “bulked-up” Keisha in the game while Summer rides the pine…with FW it’s all in the details. Clearly this arc will eventually deal with the very serious “real life issue” of body modification, what with Cayla’s constant plastic surgery and Keisha’s blatant use of growth hormones.
Either that or it’ll be about those darned kids and how they never call you back despite their gizmos and gadgets. Both very topical issues that will no doubt be completely resolved to everyone’s satisfaction by the end of this arc.
Oh my God, that smirk-morph shows nothing but pure evil to me. I think that all of the forbidden curses would be approved to wipe that out.
There will be as many people riding the bench at a Kent State women’s game as there are in the stands.
Oh, and Les blew an opportunity to sport his KSU shirt!
I don’t think the big, angry K*nt in the game is Kaleesha. She’s on the bench, giant forehead and all. She’s next to Slumber and another girl, looking like three middle-school students.
On the other hand, crosstown rival Brandy Bowleg is wearing number 21 and playing for the opposition.
For once, Swishy Tom got it right. Pint sized Slumber and Super K would get snapped like twigs and squashed like bugs against college behemoths. They better keep that bench warm if they want to live long enough to graduate.
Only question is how these two boney shrimps from a 5th rate school got SCHOLARSHIPS! Oh, right. “Writing.”
The BatHack is such a freaking idiot about basketball! A Division I team’s bench is like a row in the bleachers in a high school gym? hopeless, he should just stop with the basketball, it’s painful to see. Love the white sneaker look also, which I’ve never seen a college team wear either.
The Taming of the Shrew.
Cayla’s nose in p3 is just cracking me up. Is she morphing into Jimmy Durante? And does anyone else wish Cayla’s dialog in the last panel was something like “yeah, thanks for reminding me. Now I’m even more pissed at Keisha!”
Technically Les, you met at your daughters’ basketball practice. And back then, it was you who was doing the complaining about Kiesha… Hey, remember when everyone used to call Keisha “Special K”? They did it for a whole week, I think.
I only really mention this technicality because the crowd at practice in that 2008 strip is closer to Kent State women’s basketball 2012-2013 season attendance average than the crowd depicted in today’s strip.
“Why yes I remember I was there as well. You had me save a place for your invisible dead wife in case she wanted to see. That’s when I knew you were the man I would marry someday. “
How long before Les storms down there and demands the coach put his Specialest Snowflake in the game? (Oh, and get Not-Lisa’s kid Kaya or Knowshon or whatever out there as well.)
LES: “What are all those cardboard cut-outs behind Summer for?”
RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER BEHIND LES: “And why is there a shrimpy-looking dude in the woman’s basketball team?”
Be patient, Diva. I was also wondering when Goatee Boy would go bellyache to the coach (saying stuff like “in the main” and “and FURTHERMORE”) about the only truly great girls basketball player getting a case of Bench Ass. At some point, one of the XXXXXL girls will twist her ankle, or hit her head on the backboard or something, and Slumber will Save The Day.
And what IS the name of Not Lisa’s kid? I can imagine Bats and his pet bear, Ayrhead, discussing adding these characters:
Bats: “I’m thinking about adding a Negro woman and her daughter to the strip.”
Ayrhead: “Whoa, slow down. Most people from Ahia have never seen a Negro, so we don’t want to confuse anybody.”
Bats: “But I feel I need to. Also, I could win some kind of award for Dealing With Negro Issues. I’m gonna need some help with the names. Can you help me with that?”
Ayrhead: (Wiping spaghetti sauce off his beard with a beach towel.) “Uh, what…?”
Bats: “Yeah, Negros all have these Africanish ‘Negro Names.’ I need these characters to have Negro Names. What kind of fat, ignorant bigot are you? Everybody knows Negros don’t have regular names like Jim and Susie! Now get your ass on that evil computer over there and ask it for a couple Negro Names. Humph. Looks like some children WERE left behind.”
(Batty waddles off.)
As relieved as I am not see the skunkhead porn addict and the old bearded creep again, I would put money on the fact that Crazy’s going to be a mail carrier again by spring 2013 without any mention of the previous storyline.
Hey, Cayloid, maybe you’re daughter never calls you back because she hates you for marrying that smirking sap sitting next to you.
So who the crap is THIS??
Looks like Goatee Boy has a history of likin’ him some Bubblin’ Brown Suga.
@ Beanie Wanker: Who’s the African-American lady sitting next to Les?
Les did not meet Cayla at basketball practice! Shes the school secretary. they met in the office weeks earlier when school began! He just didn’t know she was Keisha’s mother! I hate plot inconsistencies!
I guess this begins a four year story arc that ends with Kent States womens team winning the NCAA title and then Les and Cayla get to visit Brazil to see Summer and Keisha win the gold at the 2016 Olympics.
Once he decided to have Westview win the state title, Batiuk stepped past reality into fantasy, so everything is probable now.
The Dreamer: “Plot Inconsistencies” was what TB was originally going to call “Act III”. But he couldn’t consistently fit a word that long into Sunday’s first panels.
Rule # 3 of reading FW clearly states: “don’t waste memory space on FW plots and back stories because the author certainly won’t”.
What happened during the execution of the hilariously awful Panel 3: did Batboy’s cat knock over the terra cotta bust of Lisa that adorns the Delicate Genius’ studio- causing him to jump in the middle of drawing Cayla’s nose?! Then he looked at it with a sideways glance/smirk, said “Good enough!” and high-tailed it down to the quilting bee/ice cream social?!
Rule #1: Whatever you think will happen is wrong, it will actually be far less interesting than that.
Rule #2: DO NOT try to make sense of the timeline…it is a fool’s errand.
Hey, Tommy Boy. We know you lurk here. Here’s some free advice – We know you don’t care about consistency or continuity. So just start drawing Slumber More and her Gal Pal as about 6’2″ 210 pounds. Then you can get them in the game without them looking like middle schoolers playing against
big, hairy menfull sized girl college basketball players.Sure, you’ll raise an eyebrow or two at first, but we know you play fast and loose with age, race, weight, whatever. We’re used to this, and have grown tired of questioning it. So if you want these two to look like college basketball players, go ahead. Sure, my idea is ridiculous and moronic, but not as ridiculous and moronic as expecting us to believe they can play NOW. Go for it, swishy boy.
I’m envisioning a chance meeting in 1971 or so between a young Batominc and Ed Wood. “Teach me about—greatness, Mr. Wood!” enthuses young Tom.
“To be great—no! perfect! To be perfect, Tom, my boy, to be perfect, you’ve got to ignore all the beady-eyed nitpickers!”
The African-American woman in the retro strip is none other than Cayla, before her Michael Jackson transformation. Is there an episode coming where her nose falls off?