I Touch Myself

Les quickly weary of her incessant badgering (and squealing), but Susan is relentless. “You haven’t called them yet?” “No…anyway, what’s the big deal? The trip to New York cost me nothing, not even a drop of sweat…it’s only the Kent State University Press, they’ll be sitting around waiting for my call…and not for nothing, I’ve already gotten one book published without my even knowing about it. I’ll call them when I’m damn good and ready.” Meanwhile Les’ callous attitude only pours fuel on Susan’s long-smoldering libido…

Susan Screams

Susan chases Les around the teacher’s desk, determined to find out what transpired in Annie’s Big Apple. Les finally spills: the “book agent” “thinks she may have found a publisher for Lisa’s Story.” Not “She found a publisher” or “I got a book deal” or “That old skank finally gave me back my missing manuscript.” No matter: it’s enough to elicit an orgasmic squeal from Station Wagon Susan.

Whap

Monday morning, and we embark down yet another never-to-be-resolved meandering plot path…Susan Smith Westbrook, Les’ erstwhile stalker student, now faculty colleague, corners the Delicate Genius in an unused classroom. At the suggestion that Les was any help at all to his boss, even crazed Susan sees right through his bullshit and smotes him. “You know what I’m talking about…” Oooh…feeling frisky, are we?

Sunday, gravely

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You never know when you’ll get the urge for a slice of Montoni’s Gazpacho Pizza…good thing they’re open til 2 AM (4 AM on the weekends)…

Open til two AM? Four AM? Must be an Ohio thing. The bars where I live close at 3 AM, and that’s  on the weekends. Ye gods, who runs Montoni’s at night? Who patronizes Montoni’s after midnight? Doesn’t Westview roll up the sidewalks after 10? At least it explains the poor “lighting” in this strip: Funky and Crazy are having this conversation at 2:30 am (Crazy Harry, because he’s crazy, wears his postal uniform all the time).

I find Funky’s comment in panel 3 to be telling: “Hopefully, I’ve done what I can to help Montoni’s weather the downturn.” Sounds like he’s not convinced he’s done everything he can. “We’ll cut back hours and hopefully that’ll be enough…hopefully I won’t have to do anything else.” Hope is not a strategy, pizza man.