Son of Stuck Funky

Rocky Road

And now, we see the big reveal as the mysterious “Rocky” is unveiled to us. To give Tom Batiuk credit, it is a genuine surprise. To take back a bit of that credit, though, it’s mainly a surprise because I’ve never heard of anyone named “Roxanne” who chooses to go by the name “Rocky.” It’s generally “Roxy” isn’t it?

The surprise is also unexpected because we’ve never really been given any reason to care who Rocky might be. I note that no one in the comments this week has hazarded any guesses about Rocky–Rocky has always been referred to as “he.” And why not? The focus of this arc has been on comic books, with nothing much about Cory and Friends other than their sudden interest in those comic books. If Funky or Holly said, “Say, who is this ‘Rocky’ anyway?” that would have laid the groundwork for today’s strip; as it is, it literally comes out of nowhere. It’s as if, in tomorrow’s strip, Carla should say “Oh, by the way, I used to be a man,” well, that will be a surprise as well. (That’s if Carla survives for another day. Her descent from “looks like a Popeye character” in panel one to “prop from a horror film” in panel three is pretty alarming.)

By contrast, Holly’s appearance has been consistent enough that I wonder if Tom Batiuk simply has a set of Holly colorforms that he just moves around.

Another thing for which Mr. Batiuk deserves credit is that Rocky actually appears to be attractive (as much as we can tell in the artwork). However, I have to dock points here as well, because, if you look closely you’ll see that Rocky is also smirking.

Jonesin’

Today’s strip.

We’ve all had fun with Crazy Harry’s “Tarzan” obsession, but while many have pointed out that it isn’t logical for someone like him to be a fan of things that happened long before he was born, I’d like to say this: fandom isn’t logical. There are people today who read Dickens, listen to Bach, and watch Alfred Hitchcock movies. Something within those works resounds in a person, despite the age of the person (or the artifacts).

That said, take a close look at the Starman Jones cover. Note the price–ten cents. Doing a bit of quick research, I see that the Fantastic Four’s first issue, in 1961, had a cover price of ten cents, while Spider-Man’s debut in Amazing Fantasy a year later went for twelve cents. So Cory Winkerbean is a fan of a series that’s over fifty years old. Note what I said in paragraph one, then remember this: we’re talking about Cory Winkerbean. Cory’s interests seem to be limited to “sneering,” “stealing” and “minor villainy.”

To be fair, I suppose it’s possible that Cory’s new-found friend Rocky is the leader here, and Cory is simply desperate to belong, but he seems an unlikely recruit to go down the comic-book path.

And it seems even less likely he’d go down the vintage comic-book path. Last week I posted a link to article that said most old comic books are worthless, but what Carla’s holding is still a collector’s item, something not so much to be casually read as to be traded amongst other aficionados. Is there a thriving comic-book trade in Afghanistan? Aren’t the folks on military bases kind of busy with other stuff? The logical thing here, if Cory is desperate to have comic books, is to purchase one of the many reprinted collections available–it would be cheaper, you’d have complete stories, and you wouldn’t have to worry about damaging a rare original issue.

Heck, even Crazy Harry isn’t crazy enough to hunt down the original works; he’s content with a reprinted collection, and he’s the ultimate obsessive in these matters.

I believe what we’re seeing here is projection, pure and simple. Tom Batiuk loves vintage comic books–and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that he feels the need to make every single character share that love, which doesn’t really make for compelling reading, unless the reader also shares that love. And if that mythical reader exists, why is he reading Funky Winkerbean? Doesn’t he have tons of comic books he can be reading instead?

Also, why does the “Jones” on that cover look like it was pasted on? You know, I have this hilarious image in my head of Tom Batiuk, writing “Starbuck Jones” in the dialogue for Holly, Funky and Carla, only to discover to his horror that in the artwork–drawn a year previously–he had named the comic book series something else. “Starbuck Les,” comes to mind….

In The Doghouse

Today’s strip.

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday, Rocky’s mom looked elfin and cute, kind of like Darrin’s long-lost step-sister. You remember…whats-her-name.

Today, she looks like a withered meth-addict.

Her face has lengthened, her hair has grown, and her mouth is about three times as large. Well, at least she has some cool dogs.

Why does Tom Batiuk do this–take someone and cruelly re-draw them? He’s done it with every single character, with the notable exceptions of the lovingly-rendered Moores. Does he really not like any of his other characters? We’ve hardly gotten to know Carla, and the act of stepping into her own house has aged her about forty years. She’s not that bad a character!

…yet.

Filler Up

Today’s strip.

Here we have Tom Batiuk doing one of the things he does best: dragging things out needlessly. There’s really no reason for those first two panels; the house and door we see aren’t anything remarkable enough that seeing them is necessary. It would be one thing if the house was unusual (scary, grandiose, or decorated in Starbuck Jones style), but that would require some imagination and a need to (for lack of a better term) amuse one’s readers.

Credit where it’s due, however: this arc seems to be one of the rare Funky Winkerbean stories in which the characters actually do something. Sure, it’s comic-book related, again, but at least Holly is taking positive steps, rather than follow the usual Westview path of quietly bemoaning one’s fate with a pun and a smirk.

Cory, We Hardly Knew Ye

Today’s strip.

My God, Holly’s dialogue in panels one and two is brain-busting. Except for the need to fill a pre-existing, drawn-a-year-in-advance word balloon (my pet theory, I hope you don’t mind if I harp on it constantly), I’m hard-pressed to think why such a fetid stew of verbiage would get vomited up. Every time I try to think of a way to shorten that mess, my mind goes blank. But let’s try:

The actual point of the strip, hinted at yesterday, is that yes, Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Since it seems Cory is too, perhaps they’ll have an actual reason to contact one another and chat. Of course, Funky being Funky, the idea of communicating with a fellow human being, other than to express contempt, is inconceivable. Note the tense of Funky’s verb: Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Was. Then, he grew up, hardened his gaze, and never looked back. He was many things. He is…Funky Winkerbean.

Holly then offers up another “If only we’d gotten to know him better” lament. Well, Holly, that wouldn’t have happened with Funky (being after all, Funky), but you know, Cory is your biological child. You’ve known him all his life. You have pretty much no excuse not to know more about your own son than you do. So, yeah, I guess you can feel sorry for yourself. No one else is going to.

Bonus “Utter Insanity” note–look at Funky in panel three. Specifically, look at his neck. You see the tag there? The tag that typically signifies “size” and “washing instructions”? See how it has flipped itself up? This…this is amazing. Tom Batiuk, an artist who cannot be bothered with panel-to-panel consistency, makes certain that Funky’s t-shirt tag is realistically flipped up. And they say there are no miracles.