Son of Stuck Funky

Option is Not a Failure

“It’s your agent…” …Ann Apple, whom we’ve not heard from in over a year and a half, which time Les has apparently spent preparing himself for a letdown. Before Apple Annie can even give the reason for her call, he launches into his concession speech. Silly Les!

I’m pleased to announce that this Tuesday, April 9th is Son of Stuck Funky’s third anniversary! Let’s give away a book! Be sure to check back here Tuesday for a chance to win a copy of The Complete Funky Winkerbean, Volume II!

Hater Tots

So you thought that put a neat bow on the whole bullying issue? Today the bullying has escalated a hundredfold. Wedgeman and his boys unrestrainedly pelt Alex with tater tots, while the rest of the student body either ignores it or joins in the laughter. You’d think that having faced down the bullies seemingly on his own yesterday, Owen would be emboldened to confront them again; instead, he wisely looks around for a teacher, but is dissuaded by Alex. Her forbearance in the face of such abuse borders on masochism. Rather than making her feel inferior, the bullying actually gives Alex a feeling of superiority over her tormentors. Take that, bullies!

I Call "Bull" Shit

That was nice what you just did, Bull“?!? What English teach– uh, sorry, Language Arts teacher, let alone a pretentious douchebag like Les, would utter such a colloquialism? And the “nice thing” he did? Catching a trio of repeat-offender school bullies in the act and letting them walk away without even a verbal warning.

TheDiva
April 4, 2013 at 1:47 pm
A few days ago, I wondered if it would be worse for Batiuk to treat bullying in an inappropriately (and unfunny) humorous manner or a insufferable serious manner. Now I know an even worse third option exists: total schizophrenia.

…and TB’s schizo tendencies extend to his continuing retconning/re-retconning of Les and Bull’s high school relationship: two years ago he went to great lengths to posit that Bull was just pretending to beat Les up in order to protect him from the real bullies. But for the purposes of the current storyline, it turns out that Bull really did pick on Les, and now must spend the rest of his life atoning.

Thirty years ago…not only was the bullying real, it was actually pretty funny!

Saved by the Bull

OK, well, props to Owen, I guess: he actually does show a little courage today, standing up to Wedgeman and his henchmen. Naturally, were Bull not standing behind him in his Mr. Clean pose, the bullies would be on him like Crazy Harry on a Montoni’s slice.

Close to the Wedge

bad wolf
April 1, 2013 at 10:22 pm
[I]s that our old friend Wedgeman? It’s been so long but one of the few ‘new’ students from last year (who i assumed was also a senior at the time) may still be around!

Good eye, bad wolf! Even though his hair has the “Superman blue” highlights these days instead of brown, that’s gotta be Wedgeman, who last year was fixin’ to “kick [Cody’s] butt off” before Summer came to his rescue. Now that Sheriff Sum’ Mo’ has ridden out of town, somebody has to man up and come to the rescue of Wedgeman’s victims.