Poor, Poor, Pitiful Funky

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20100725&name=Funky_Winkerbean
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And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job, and that there is no one on earth like him, blameless and upright, fearing God and avoiding evil?” But Satan answered the LORD and said, “Is it for nothing that Job is God-fearing? Have you not surrounded him and his family and all that he has with your protection? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his livestock are spread over the land. But now put forth your hand and touch anything that he has, and surely he will blaspheme you to your face.

The Book of Job, 1:8-11

In the story of Job, God, at the Devil’s urging, singles out a good, decent guy, upon whom he visits misfortune after misfortune, just to see how much poor Job can take without losing faith. Despite having all his possessions destroyed, his offspring wiped out, and a hideous case of boils, Job hangs tough. His words to his wife sum up his attitude: “[S]hall we receive good from God and shall not receive evil?” Job’s friends come to visit and all wonder what Job has done to deserve this treatment. After his ordeal, Job is rewarded by God with double his riches, more offspring, and another 140 years of life on Earth.

Our modern-day Job understands and has come to accept his role as God’s Punching Bag. “I used to go years without stuff like this happening to me (Shall we receive good from God…) and now it happens to me every five minutes  (…and shall not receive evil?)”

That’s our sermon for today, folks! Thanks again to David O for guest-blogging in this space last week.

Super Sunday

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“It’s Susan Smith, grown up and pretty! She’s winning Les away from me by reminding him that he saved her life when she attempted suicide!”

I think today’s space would have been put to much better use depicting a wild cafeteria catfight to the death between Cayla “the Crusher” and Susan “the Snake”, as Les appreciatively looks on, wearing that smug smirk we see on his disembodied head at the top of today’s comic.

Anyone sitting here?

The school lunchroom is an absolutely ideal setting for what had damn well better be the final chapter of this juvenile love triangle. It took twenty (thirty?) years, but Les the Nerd is now Les the Stud. Get in line, ladies. Cayla: now do you get it? Les: Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last ? Have you left no sense of decency ?

"Stuff" Shell

Cayla’s Netbusters DVD of Whatever Works sits on the kitchen table, next to the now-warm bottle of champagne. There will be no Woody Allen film fest tonight over at “Summer’s house”. Instead, Mrs. Station Wagon and the Grounded One have some “stuff” to do. I will leave it to you, readers, to dissect the totally stilted exchange in panel 2.

Feck-Les

All Les needs is a pair of suspenders and a  coffee mug to complete his metamorphosis into another quintessential a-hole: Lumbergh from Office Space. “Yeah, ahh, Cayla, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and take a rain check on our movie night, okaaaay? Thaaaaaannks…” And when given the chance to speak now or forever hold her peace, Cayla instead gives her tacit approval…y’all officially deserve whatever you get, Cayla, from here on in.