Tag: Cayla

The L Bomb

Last week, the Cleveland Plain Dealer ran a letter from longtime reader Michael F. Ward of Mayfield Heights, Ohio.

“I hope and pray that all of your cartoonists have gotten rid of their desires to push the sleaze envelope…we had ‘Funky Winkerbean’ creator Tom Batiuk portray his main characters, who are not married and are supposed to be role models at the high school where they are both employed, engaged in a cutesy little rainy-afternoon tryst…”

I expect Mr. Ward will be even more offended when he read’s today’s strip to discover that not only were these two not married (to each other),  they didn’t even exchange “I love you’s” first!

Moore of Les

What’s this comic strip called again? It should just be called “Les Moore”, ’cause apparently the titular character (whom we can’t stand either) shows up in this strip about as much as Tony Montoni shows up in the restaurant that bears his name. Fresh off his Hemingway reference last week, today Les is thinking some Longfellowesque long thoughts, not of his lost youth but of “the future”. Les’ introspective mood triggers in Cayla some long thoughts of her own, sending her mind and her heartbeat racing.

Schwing!

Okay, kids, you can open your eyes now! Dressed and back out on the porch (although wisely keeping clear of that front door!), the newly minted buckfuddies engage in a more traditional form of “swinging”. Cayla notes that the afternoon has been “special”. “Because…?” Because that skeezer Susan didn’t happen by…Because our obnoxious teenage girls are outta the house…And, oh yeah, you got through the afternoon without invoking your long-dead wife. Les’ smug attitude is off the charts in panel 3: not only are his brows in full arch, but he’s sporting a dimple! And what’s going on with Cayla’s blouse in panel 3? Didn’t she see the “Wet Paint” sign?

Afternoon Despair

Link to today’s strip.

Sung to the tune of “Afternoon Delight”, by the Starland Vocal Band: afternoondelight

Gonna take my Lester, drag his ass upstairs
Gonna grab some afternoon despair
Even gettin’ laid in Westview is a sad affair
Tom Batiuk will remind you that life’s just not fair

Where everything is so depressing, even makin’ love
Gettin’ outta Westview’s something all these losers should be thinking of

Les ‘n’ Cayla gonna take a walk upstairs
Gettin’ busy with a little afternoon despair
Cayla even purchased fancy underwear
Run her fingers thru Les’s Paulie Walnuts hair

Try some choc’late eclair, afternoon despair
Afternoon despair, afternoon despair

Started out this morning with a porch embrace
Then Darin came runnin’ like to win a race
Jess and Summer and Keisha joinin’ in the chase
Made the porch a bad location to be suckin’ face

Cayla’s got ethnic hair, afternoon despair
Afternoon despair, afternoon despair

Though they got the house for the whole afternoon
They’ll just need five minutes ’cause Les comes too soon

It’s about time that this unlikely pair
Got together for a little afternoon despair
You’d think that Les was goin’ to the ‘lectric chair
Cayla’s finally got this little weasel in her snare

Funny as a cancer scare, afternoon despair
Afternoon despair, afternoon despair
Afternoon despair, afternoon despair