comics – Page 49 – Son of Stuck Funky

Jonesin’

We’ve all had fun with Crazy Harry’s “Tarzan” obsession, but while many have pointed out that it isn’t logical for someone like him to be a fan of things that happened long before he was born, I’d like to say this: fandom isn’t logical. There are people today who read Dickens, listen to Bach, and watch Alfred Hitchcock movies. Something within those works resounds in a person, despite the age of the person (or the artifacts).

That said, take a close look at the Starman Jones cover. Note the price–ten cents. Doing a bit of quick research, I see that the Fantastic Four’s first issue, in 1961, had a cover price of ten cents, while Spider-Man’s debut in Amazing Fantasy a year later went for twelve cents. So Cory Winkerbean is a fan of a series that’s over fifty years old. Note what I said in paragraph one, then remember this: we’re talking about Cory Winkerbean. Cory’s interests seem to be limited to “sneering,” “stealing” and “minor villainy.”

To be fair, I suppose it’s possible that Cory’s new-found friend Rocky is the leader here, and Cory is simply desperate to belong, but he seems an unlikely recruit to go down the comic-book path.

And it seems even less likely he’d go down the vintage comic-book path. Last week I posted a link to article that said most old comic books are worthless, but what Carla’s holding is still a collector’s item, something not so much to be casually read as to be traded amongst other aficionados. Is there a thriving comic-book trade in Afghanistan? Aren’t the folks on military bases kind of busy with other stuff? The logical thing here, if Cory is desperate to have comic books, is to purchase one of the many reprinted collections available–it would be cheaper, you’d have complete stories, and you wouldn’t have to worry about damaging a rare original issue.

Heck, even Crazy Harry isn’t crazy enough to hunt down the original works; he’s content with a reprinted collection, and he’s the ultimate obsessive in these matters.

I believe what we’re seeing here is projection, pure and simple. Tom Batiuk loves vintage comic books–and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that he feels the need to make every single character share that love, which doesn’t really make for compelling reading, unless the reader also shares that love. And if that mythical reader exists, why is he reading Funky Winkerbean? Doesn’t he have tons of comic books he can be reading instead?

Also, why does the “Jones” on that cover look like it was pasted on? You know, I have this hilarious image in my head of Tom Batiuk, writing “Starbuck Jones” in the dialogue for Holly, Funky and Carla, only to discover to his horror that in the artwork–drawn a year previously–he had named the comic book series something else. “Starbuck Les,” comes to mind….

Cory, We Hardly Knew Ye

Today’s strip.

My God, Holly’s dialogue in panels one and two is brain-busting. Except for the need to fill a pre-existing, drawn-a-year-in-advance word balloon (my pet theory, I hope you don’t mind if I harp on it constantly), I’m hard-pressed to think why such a fetid stew of verbiage would get vomited up. Every time I try to think of a way to shorten that mess, my mind goes blank. But let’s try:

The actual point of the strip, hinted at yesterday, is that yes, Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Since it seems Cory is too, perhaps they’ll have an actual reason to contact one another and chat. Of course, Funky being Funky, the idea of communicating with a fellow human being, other than to express contempt, is inconceivable. Note the tense of Funky’s verb: Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Was. Then, he grew up, hardened his gaze, and never looked back. He was many things. He is…Funky Winkerbean.

Holly then offers up another “If only we’d gotten to know him better” lament. Well, Holly, that wouldn’t have happened with Funky (being after all, Funky), but you know, Cory is your biological child. You’ve known him all his life. You have pretty much no excuse not to know more about your own son than you do. So, yeah, I guess you can feel sorry for yourself. No one else is going to.

Bonus “Utter Insanity” note–look at Funky in panel three. Specifically, look at his neck. You see the tag there? The tag that typically signifies “size” and “washing instructions”? See how it has flipped itself up? This…this is amazing. Tom Batiuk, an artist who cannot be bothered with panel-to-panel consistency, makes certain that Funky’s t-shirt tag is realistically flipped up. And they say there are no miracles.

Funky Say WHAT

Today’s strip.

Greetings, fellow snarkers, BChasm back for another stint (I almost wrote “stink”) in the Funky Winkerbean guest-host-o-rama.

For a comic strip that continually confounds me, today’s episode is a grand-slam home run. I have no idea whatsoever what is supposed to be conveyed by Funky’s expression and dialogue in panel three. His words say “I’m astonished to the point of horror” but his face is swept with the bemusement that, aside from the smirk, is the most prevalent facial expression in Westview. Replace Holly’s dialogue with “I found a dozen pies” and his expression suddenly makes perfect sense.

Taking a wild stab here, I’m going to assume that Funky is a fan of Starbuck Jones (wasn’t that the comic he urged his younger self to buy?) and is amazed that Cory has even heard of such a thing. Perhaps the two of them actually share a characteristic, other than unending cynicism.

This is quite a surprise to me. The reason it’s surprising is that in all my recent reading of Funky Winkerbean (since the tail end of the Gay Promeggedon) I cannot recall a single area in which Funky expresses any interest at all. Well, there’s Steve Earle I suppose. But other than that, Funky seems to have no interests, hobbies or anything that distinguishes him from the pizza dough he endlessly kneads. Other than owning the only healthy business in Westview, he seems to have no purpose.

Well, okay, he does serve one function. But “He was one of Les Moore’s foils” is not going to be much of an epitaph.

The Business End

Today’s strip

Naturally, anything called “Merchant’s Day” would have to feature the only two functioning businesses in Westview. What I don’t get is how cavalierly John runs his comic book shop. Here are a couple of potential customers who, yeah, might not read comics themselves, but might know people who do and thus might buy gifts, and John can’t even be bothered to look up. Isn’t he perpetually behind in his rent payments? Isn’t the entire town continually strapped for cash? Does he not want to even try to make money? Look at the expression on his face: it just screams “Get out of my shop. Get out of my shop. If I don’t look up maybe they’ll just go away.”

Besides, given the fact that John frequently proselytises everyone about the art and value of comic books, you would think in his world there wouldn’t be anyone who wasn’t a potential fan, just waiting to have him open up a whole new world for them. Yet here he doesn’t even try.

Yes, I do know that the words “try” and “attempt” and “strive” and so forth are considered curse words in Westview, but the continual avoidance of those activities is just so. Damned. Wearying.

…come to think of it, this particular episode seems to sum up Funky Winkerbean in a nutshell. “Look…here’s something.” Lady, if you only knew how wrong you are. “Never mind…this isn’t a store.” You know what else it isn’t? A joke. The joke is right here, and it’s on us.

Sunday, July 21

Link to today’s strip

ABOVE THE POST UPDATE

Something witty and insightful actually related to today’s strip, to be published after the strip goes live.

–or it could just be Cody, Owen, and Dead Heart John talking about crap that no one, and I mean no one, cares about.

ORIGINAL POST

Since, even with my newly-acquired superpowers, my vision cannot see through Saturday, I thought I’d muse a bit on the 50th anniversary arc we’ve just been through (and may continue on into) while waiting for Sunday to show up.

Firstly and most obviously, there weren’t any jokes. Not even the most charitable teacher, grading on the biggest curve, could find anything that anyone outside of Tom Batiuk’s house could call “humor.” That’s so obvious it hardly needs stating, but there is a question: why is this?

Before we start in on personal attacks (on Tom Batiuk; you can attack me all you want, I’ve got superpowers, nyah!), I’d like to change the question: could this have been funny?

Surprisingly, the answer is yes. Not hilarious, not entertaining even, but I could see the humor if, and only if, certain things had been established. That would have required some ground work prior to the arc, of course, which wasn’t there, but let’s change things just a bit…

First of all, forget how hate-able all the characters are. Now, imagine that instead of Harry Dinkle doing these things, it was Jack Benny.

Many of you may not know who Jack Benny was (though I am older than the stars, I never heard his radio show) but his “comic persona” was that of an determined cheapskate. An affable, amiable, even helpful cheapskate, but a man who parted with a penny only after all other alternatives were exhausted.

Everyone on his radio show was aware of this, and acknowledged it openly. In this context, the idea of Benny taking his long-time girlfriend to an inexpensive anniversary party at the cheap dump they go to every week becomes kind of funny. The girlfriend would be appalled yet not want to say anything, the gathered friends would be feeling the same, and when he said he wanted her to “put out,” he’d open up his wallet for her to contribute.

The height of hilarity? Of course not. But I can see the humor.

The problem, of course, is that Funky Winkerbean‘s Harry is not presented as a cheap miser. He’s presented as a beloved father-figure; the very idea of an anniversary party at Montoni’s is not discouraged, but lauded as magnanimous. Harry’s persona is entirely wrong for this kind of story. Had he been presented as he’s perceived by readers–cheap, selfish and egotistical–than this whole arc would have some potential. Viz:

Just as not funny as regular, but at least with a punchline.

I’ll be first to admit the above isn’t funny. But it does have an actual punchline that makes sense in context of Harry’s character.

It’s a pity in a way, because if Tom Batiuk had taken the time to establish (or acknowledge) some negative traits for his characters, the overall level of humor…well, let’s not go overboard. Let me say that it least it wouldn’t be below sea-level.

As another example, take Les Moore. Please. (Ha ha…ha?) If he were presented as a semi-talented nebbishy dweeb, his “home run” at writing such a terrible teleplay would be seen as a funny over-estimation of his abilities. Similarly, the fact that both Susan and Cayla found him attractive could have been the source of some humor. That was not to be, though, as the one attempt was viciously slapped down (“I screwed up” “Yes, you did”) in order to demonstrate Les’ obvious (to TB) appeal.

So, thanks for your indulgence on this fine Sunday morning. As for today’s strip, why, let’s just take a look, and…oh good grief.