I happen to be a sucker for those “returning soldier surprises his [blank]” videos. My two older brothers both served in the armed forces, and I still remember the joy my family and I felt upon their safe return. So I guess I won’t beat up Batiuk over having Cory pulling the old stealth maneuver for the second Christmas in a row. Though it is kind of fun to remember that Cory’s training and experience afford him the ability to sneak up on his parents and take ’em out before they knew what hit ’em.
Tag: Cory
A Very Cory Christmas
Ah! Christmas in Westview, where the yellow cabs are orange and you exit the cab and walk around to the driver’s side window to settle up your fare. The sight of Mom and Dad trimming the tree brings a skull-splitting smile to Cpl. Cory’s face.
Countdown to Cory
Well, today’s strip either illustrates how the father whose neglect turned his son into a juvenile delinquent now counts the minutes until his safe return, or it’s glum foreshadowing of Cory’s date with a landmine.
I, Me, Landmine
Les rather magnanimously inquires about Cory’s well-being. Funky replies “…I always used to worry about where he was headed.” He’s referring, of course, to Cory’s heyday of petty larceny, school vandalism, cheating, and sassing his teachers. You know: the days when Cory was the coolest, most likeable character in the strip. Anymore–I mean, nowadays, with Cory tiptoeing through the Bouncing Bettys in war-torn Iraquistan, I guess Funky no longer needs to worry about his “totally focused” stepson.
Take Your Kids to Work Day
While his wife confronts her father’s killer, Darin schleps Skyler down those rickety stairs to visit Holly and Funky. Naturally, the grandchild St. Lisa never knew is good at everything, which for a five-month old consists of sleeping and eating. Of course Cory (whose seems to be mentioned in every Sunday strip) was like that too as a baby; in fact, Funky opines that Cory was that way through his teens. While we know little about teenage Cory’s eating habits (surely he has nothing on Jeremy from Zits), we do know that he made quite a fuss, and in fact was a regular visitor to Principal Nate’s office:
April 2008:
Young Mr. Winkerbean would go from disrupting class to cheating on tests, vandalizing the school and stealing from a charity.
A very Happy Easter to you all! Epicus Doomus steps in
for a couple beginning tomorrow!
for a couple beginning tomorrow!
Son of Stuck Funky 
