Tag: Darin

It's Just Aphasia Goin' Through

Withering Heights
January 18, 2013 at 5:00 pm
…[H]ospital treatment is nothing like day-to-day business at, say, a pizza joint. Things do not happen on the patient’s schedule, and there is much less certainty than, “Hey, I thought I said no anchovies!” So Batominc actually has the patient’s and the family’s point of view down.

And I guess that’s what’s happening today, as the neurosurgeon updates Ann and Darin on Fred’s status. Barring any glaring errors such as Pmc commented on yesterday, the surgeon’s summary to me sounds fairly straightforward and jargon-free. Certainly, a former high school teacher would be able to make sense of it. We’ll give Ann a break since she’s obviously under stress.

“So there’s going to be some residual aphasia,” says the doctor with complete certainty, prognosticating before his patient has even regained consciousness. Apologies to the three of you readers who picked “Survives, eventually makes full recovery” in this week’s poll. The Wikipedia defines aphasia as “the disturbance in formulation and comprehension of language.” Which equals, you guessed it: “Boxcar!” Pure comedy gold. Can’t wait for a frustrated Darin to yell at Ann, “Is he crazy?”

I am Fred's Brain

Darin, buddy, I think the blue pen in your pocket is leaking.

It’s a stroke, all right. Poor Fred. Yet all I can think about is: what’s going on with the lady doctor’s chin? I call it a “chin” because it’s where her chin would be, but it looks more like a small goiter. It sticks out like one of Popeye’s elbows. And her bedside manner sucks: “If he’s lucky, the catheter…will break it up.” “If we’re lucky” would’ve sounded a tad more compassionate, but of course, that doesn’t set up Annie’s punchline. Look for more scenes in this arc to take place in the darkened x-ray room; this way the action takes place in a featureless void, and TB is saved the drudgery of having to draw a detailed background.

Freddy Got Fingered

C’mon, doc. If he’s wise to that “scream when the toilet seat falls” bit, do you really think Fred Fairgood is gonna fall for the old “pull my finger” routine?

At least TB gets all the hospital details right: that’s either a nurse wearing a ḥijāb, or else Igor has wandered in from the lab of Dr. “Froderick” Frankenstein.

Stroke and a Joke

“At first I thought it was just the toilet seat falling…but [Fred] would always fake a loud scream whenever that happened, as if…” As if? As if what? What? As if Fred’s schlong had gotten crushed by the falling toilet seat? That old gag?

Who knew Westview’s former principal was such a jokester? We’d always figured him for something of a square! And now, just as we come to appreciate funny Fred, his Creator (TB) has laid him low with an affliction that will likely make him Pa Winkerbean’s new roommate. Obviously Fred at some point made the mistake of letting the universe know he was feeling happy.

A Stroke of Bad Luck

Epicus Doomus
January 10, 2013 at 11:45 am
…Maybe it’s a new mix of meds, maybe it’s the constant online criticism but whatever it is [Batiuk]’s holding back on the “life sucks then you die” stuff for some reason…

Duane
January 15, 2013 at 9:58 am
It’s either cancer or someone’s dead. It’s been too long since we’ve had some tragedy around here.

Happy now? The Mom on the phone, of course, is not St. Lisa, but Darin’s adoptive mom, Fishstick Annie, with the news that Fishstick Fred has suffered an apparent stroke. FW‘s Era of Good Feeling that was 2012 belatedly, officially draws to a close. Jessica takes a turn chirping like a newlywed about the whole marriage vs. dorm dynamic.