Epicus Doomus
February 23, 2012 at 1:01 am
…I’m definitely disappointed in how Batom glossed over the big revenge game vs. Blue Valley, as I’m sure we all were…
Well, maybe we all can take some consolation in the fact that the She-Goats are facing Our Lady of the Cedars in a rematch from two years ago, where the Lady Ladies left the Westview girls on the outside looking in. But uh-oh! Where’s Summer? I’m surprised the whole gym can’t hear her puke.
Seizing the opportunity to have Moore Manor all to themselves, Mr. and Mrs. Freeloader go with the old “flu bug” excuse to get out of having to go to Columbus, though the “swallowed whole” angle is just overkill. Funky’s cocky attitude is starting to give me some flu symptoms, mainly nausea. “We’ll bring him a championship t-shirt”, as if the shirts have already printed and are waiting in the She-Goats’ locker room, along with the cases of post-game champagne.
Um, is the Championship Game going to be played outdoors? Then why is Les glued to the weather forecast before the gang departs for Columbus? Probably to allow TB to unload what feels like a leftover punchline from Crankshaft.
“So Crazy Harry is fifty-two!” No shit, really? Y’know, because he doesn’t look a day under seventy-five! Funky and Holly treat our quinquagenarian postman to a Montoni’s pie with delicious melted wax topping.
Say what you will about Batiuk; he must be a man of faith. How do we know this? Because he takes so many Sundays off! Great birthday tribute by the way…nothing says “happy birthday” like a reminder that “the sands of time are running out”.
In one of those flukes of his year-in-advance workflow, TB uncannily predicts the mild winter that most of the U.S. has experienced this year. If, like yours truly, you don’t ski or snowboard and don’t give a rat’s ass if it never snows ’til next year, you have The Cheapest Man in Westview to thank.
Son of Stuck Funky 
