Freddy Got Fingered

C’mon, doc. If he’s wise to that “scream when the toilet seat falls” bit, do you really think Fred Fairgood is gonna fall for the old “pull my finger” routine?

At least TB gets all the hospital details right: that’s either a nurse wearing a ḥijāb, or else Igor has wandered in from the lab of Dr. “Froderick” Frankenstein.

Stroke and a Joke

At first I thought it was just the toilet seat falling…but [Fred] would always fake a loud scream whenever that happened, as if…” As if? As if what? What? As if Fred’s schlong had gotten crushed by the falling toilet seat? That old gag?

Who knew Westview’s former principal was such a jokester? We’d always figured him for something of a square! And now, just as we come to appreciate funny Fred, his Creator (TB) has laid him low with an affliction that will likely make him Pa Winkerbean’s new roommate. Obviously Fred at some point made the mistake of letting the universe know he was feeling happy.

A Stroke of Bad Luck

Epicus Doomus
January 10, 2013 at 11:45 am
…Maybe it’s a new mix of meds, maybe it’s the constant online criticism but whatever it is [Batiuk]’s holding back on the “life sucks then you die” stuff for some reason…

Duane
January 15, 2013 at 9:58 am
It’s either cancer or someone’s dead. It’s been too long since we’ve had some tragedy around here.

Happy now? The Mom on the phone, of course, is not St. Lisa, but Darin’s adoptive mom, Fishstick Annie, with the news that Fishstick Fred has suffered an apparent stroke. FW‘s Era of Good Feeling that was 2012 belatedly, officially draws to a close. Jessica takes a turn chirping like a newlywed about the whole marriage vs. dorm dynamic.

Hide Yo' Happiness

Today Batiuk revisits one of FW‘s dominant themes. No, not clumsy sentence structure (“…go ahead again anyway”?). Nope, not bricks. Naturally, I’m talking about the need to conceal one’s happiness, lest one attract the wrath of the universe. I truly wonder if this notion exists anywhere outside the Funkiverse? Imagine being unable to express even the slightest joy, out of an abject fear of recrimination. This might work as a quirky trait for a particular character (think Joe Btfsplk from Li’l Abner), yet this phobia is clearly understood and shared by everyone in Westview. Anyway, in this case, said wrath takes the form of an ill-timed phone call from…Darin’s mom? Is Lisa checking in from the afterlife again?

Our Show of Shows

Nary an ex-postman nor a comic book guy to be seen. Let’s all do our “happy dance!” Today we drop in on Mr. and Mrs. Darin Fairgood, at home in front of the world’s only black and white flatscreen TV. By some freak happenstance, Darin has been proven right about something for once, but magnanimously refuses to gloat. How nice to see that after ten years of marriage, Darin’s figured out that he shouldn’t treat his wife like a roomate.