“Rache” is trying to help, but nobody can help Wally, not nobody, not no how. She allows him to plead his case, even managing to keep a straight face at the mention of Wally “keeping it together”, even barely. But in panel three…there’s that crazed, earnest expression, those beady eyes and that tilt of the head. Last time Rachel got that look, she nearly drove him to a public freakout at the county fair…
Not even going to try and work out the math that equals “six long years” of Wally’s service. But the melodrama meter remains off the charts with his litany of rituals. Wally can’t be blamed for clinging to his survival habits, since nobody in his life bothered to give him a proper “welcome home”. No wonder he’s still at war in his mind.
Maybe he fell short of a Pulitzer, but today Tom Batiuk wins the award for MAIADB: Most Acronyms in a Dialogue Balloon. Can one of our esteemed vets hip me to what O.E.D. stands for in this context? My normally awesome Google skills failed me. “T.B.I.”, of course, stands for Tom Batiuk’s Incoherence, an issue that affects not just Wally, but everyone who reads TB’s “writing”.
Update: O.E.D. or E.O.D.?
More confusing-acronym hell: It looks like panel one was amended since it appeared months ago in the Puppies Behind Bars newsletter. Since the site where I get my comics was down (it’s since come back online, thank goodness) I used the black and white panels from the preview. So, as John commented below, I guess the acronym is E.O.D. (explosives ordinance disposal), which opens up yet another can of worms: the only time I can recall seeing Sgt. Wally dealing with explosive ordinance was when he stepped on a Bouncing Betty during his Afghan honeymoon and had to be rescued by Khan. The retcons (ret-Khans?) are coming fast and furious now, kids. Maybe the Grand Finale draws nigh after all?
Today we’re treated to the most melodramatic, soap-operatic chunk of leaden dialog that the funnies have seen in years.
So the reason those “wet-behind-the-ears shrinks” were unable to reach Wally was that they never walked a mile in his combat boots? Fine. But what about the heart-to-heart he had with ‘Nam vet Principal Nate? And those group therapy sessions with his buddies at the VA? Oh, right: that was only one session, after which he decided he needed to go back to Afghanistan. For his honeymoon. Maybe when Uncle Sam recalled him (on a technicality, no less!), he should have tried for a section 8.
Anyway: I sure hope Wally’s more amenable to pet therapy than was his Uncle Cousin Funky!
As I was saying about continuity and pacing in the Funkiverse: I guess Rachel’s instantly back from her grocery run, and they’re now viewing a “frisky” video. Time for her to take Wally’s “cure” to the next level. Our Redhead takes a deep breath, and brings up the issue of Wally’s issue issues. Check out Wally’s attitude in panel three: that “Please” speech bubble should have icicles hanging off it.
Son of Stuck Funky 
