Took me a whole five minutes of research to demonstrate why today’s strip is so much unfunny bullshit.
Q: Do you wash birds as soon as you get them?
A: Not right away. Because oiled birds often suffer from hypo- or hyperthermia and the birds often haven’t eaten in days. They also are dehydrated and exhausted by the time we capture them. They must be stabilized before attempting cleaning. Stabilized birds have a much higher survival rate than birds that are not stabilized prior to being washed.
Q: How much water does it take to clean a bird?
A: The amount of water used depends on the size of the bird, how badly it is oiled and the bird. One pelican can use as many as 300 gallons of water.
Q: Do the animals know that you are helping them?
A: No. They are wild animals and highly stressed by handling and captivity. Although some species will act more friendly as they become accustomed to humans, they need what is termed “flight space”…that allows them to feel comfortable when in the presence of their care takers. Getting too close to them will create a stressful situation and often painful bites to their intruder. Handling and viewing is only done when absolutely necessary in order to minimize stress.
Q: Where do you release them?
A: All rehabilitated animals are released in clean and oil free areas chosen by federal and state trustee agency personnel and IBRRC. If the area that they were captured in is still oiled then the animals are sometimes transported to more remote locations for release.
Son of Stuck Funky 