Westview High School – Page 107

Mac-ademia

Call security! There’s a creepy dude with a goatee wandering the halls of the high school! Oh, that’s right, that’s the head of the English department, Mr. Moore. He’s taken so many “impersonal days” that I forgot who he was.

We could never forget Mr. Kablichnick, the student-loathing science teacher. His student Big Mac is at risk of pulling a bad grade in science, which would get him kicked off the basketball team. This comes as no surprise, since what little we’ve seen of Big Mac suggests that he’s a complete oaf, on the order of Lennie from Of Mice and Men. But Big Mac is apparently a basketball savant, Westview’s “star center”…in other words, the Summer Moore of the boys’ team. With the girls’ team having gone down in flames, Bull is not about to see the boys’ team follow suit. But rather than admonishing his “star center” to get his academic shit together of suffer the consequences, Bull, the bully, leans on Big Mac’s teacher to issue a passing grade.

A Complete Loss

Here’s a link to today’s merriment

Without Summer to carry them, the She-Goats make a hasty exit from “the tournaments”, while their pussywhipped coach ponders his team’s complete lack of depth and heart.

The Girls of Sum' Mo'

Here’s a link to today’s strip.

The She-Goats return to the hardwood to resume the un-forfeited game. How exactly does “TEAM ON ONE” work? “One—TEAM!” Isn’t it usually “on three“? Admittedly, I never played team sports, so I could be ignorant… or this could be just another thing that Batiuk Gets Wrong. But even TB must face the fact that someone with a torn ACL can’t suit up for a game the day after. Yet even on crutches, Sum’ Mo’ finds herself at the center of all the attention.

Frequent Fryer

Funky_Winkerbean.20110109 — Click to view larger

And you thought the Book Tour was over? I wonder how Principal Nate is feeling now about giving Les unlimited personal days?

I thought Les was getting “fried” too, when he got that courtesy call from his dead wife. But as far as we know, he never shared that incident with his daughter. Instead, Les apparently regaled her with stories about how he behaved like a complete asshole, annoying lowly, hard-working security personnel, newsstand vendors and flight attendants, everywhere he went.

I wonder if he tried the Spinal Tap foil-wrapped-cucumber-down-the-pants trick?

Houston? We Have a Problem

In case we didn’t pick up from last week’s strips that Les’ fame extends beyond Westview, Ohio, Keisha helpfully hammers home the point that this book tour is national, bitches. Summer’s glee over her father’s long-overdue success triggers a face-morph: not only do her beady little eyes light up, but her eyebrows suddenly thicken, her chin recedes, and she manifests an overbite. This startling transformation is lost on Cody and Owen as they pass by in the background, seemingly joined at the hip. Meanwhile, deep in the heart of Houston, Texas, Les struggles with getting his laptop hooked up to a projector. Where’s his “wife Mike” when Les needs him?

What the hell is Les doing in Houston, anyway? Yesterday he was in New York, on the set of the Today show, and Saturday he was calling Cayla from San Diego (there were palm trees in the background, so he sure wasn’t calling from NYC). Batiuk seemed to be hinting at a plotline involving John Darling’s widow Jan, a producer for Today, getting him booked on the show. Appearing on national TV would be a major milestone in an author’s career, but The Creator spends one day on it…SMDH (shaking my damn head)…