Tag: Westview High School

Up Against the Wall

Beanie Wanker
February 21, 2012 at 3:07 am
What the Hell is the band going to do? March on the court and do a halftime show?

I searched in vain for a YouTube clip of the homecoming parade from Animal House; specifically the part where Stork grabs the drum major’s mace and directs the marching band down a blind alley. There’s a great overhead shot of the trombones bending as they mindlessly march into a brick wall. That was the image that came to mind as I imagined the Marching Scapegoats attempting an indoor “script Westview” (two mentions of “script Westview” within a week?). Wanna bet that Owen was one of those band members that were “shaken up”?

Conference News

Oh, you forgot that Jinx was a “sports junkie“? You must not remember her excitement when step-mom Linda signed her up to play girls’ softball a few summers ago (and guess who she volunteered to coach?). The news of the She-Goats’ advancing to the state tournaments is greeted with utter indifference by everyone but Summer, Cayla, and Les, who is smirking up a storm. Jim the science teacher isn’t even looking at the TV; he just stares into space, contemplating retirement.

Walk Off Jerkoff

So the nerd who was traumatized by gym class now schools the class jock regarding sports jargon? Well, first…a quick Google search suggests that there is such a thing as a “walk off free throw“. And anyway, Bull’s obviously feeling good about his team and about being interviewed “on the sports news”. Would it kill Les to overlook Bull’s poor grammar and offer his old friend and coworker just a little affirmation? Ass.

Flowery Twats

(I really hope everyone gets the Fawlty Towers reference in today’s post title!)

Today’s strip might elicit a warm grin if not for the fact that so many Westviewvians, rather than just say what they mean, prefer to waste everyone’s time by speaking in riddles and wry asides:

“I’d like to buy a book.” “You’re in luck! This is a bookstore!”

“I’m in the mood for some pizza.” “Why, that just happens to be what we serve here!”

“Do you like the flowers I sent you, Cayla?” “Yeah, gee, thanks Les, you really went all out…cheap-ass mutha-…”

The Three Faces (so far) of Cayla, L-R: Her debut, Sept. 2008;
her new ‘do, Sept. 2010; Valentine’s Day, 2012

Large and in Charge

“TWEEEEET!” Keisha makes the ultimate defensive sacrifice, selling it so effectively that the ref blows the whistle (and uses the wrong hand to signal) before she even hits the floor. You would think that a self-professed “jock” like Cayla would admire her daughter’s intense play, but instead she chastises hubby-to-be for showing some enthusiasm.