When you order a Westview High School Marching Scapegoats Band™ Turkey, the band director herself will personally deliver your room-temperature bird…along with thinly veiled threats of violence! Tired and stressed, huh? Are there no volunteers among the band boosters to help with delivery? Why not just instruct your customers to come to the school and pick up their friggin’ turkeys if it’s such a hassle for you?
That’s a lotta turkeys. Uhh… don’t they need to be refrigerated? Or are there live turkeys in those boxes? Nate plays the role of Capt. Obvious and draws a withering response from the One-Armed Queen. I don’t watch any of the C.S.I. franchise, but is it such a popular show that the title has worked itself into the lexicon? TB seems to think so.
It’s turkey season in Westview, where a holiday on which we gather with loved ones to give thanks for our blessings is merely another occasion for dread.
Well, look who’s up and about. Continuity has gone right out the window, folks. Not only are we back in the late 20th century, but we went from twilight in Sunday’s strip to full daylight yesterday. Now we see the band members are still milling about the gazebo, so presumably we’re still in the same day. And Old Funky continues his out-loud spoken observations as he leans against the tree, ogling Britney Spears young Holly Budd. He’s right, kids: by the time you reach adulthood, concepts like “happy” and “carefree” will be totally alien to your lives.
(I’m back! Many thanks to DavidO for filling in this past week! –TFH)
Funky finally puts two and two together and realizes that he must be “back…in the past! ” (emphasis Batiuk’s) And it’s not making sense. Neither does the fact that he’s toting a jacket in July. On the plus side: props to TB for preserving Sunday-to-Monday continuity (to the point of redundancy). Minus side: he’s stretching this out wayyy too long. Also: in these pre-Bluetooth headset days, the locals would surmise to be crazy anyone who wandered through the middle of the town square talking to himself.
Son of Stuck Funky 
